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If you love, you'll forgive anything?
#21
Lexington Wrote:i noticed the change, and assuming it means what I think ot means, I'm sorry to hear.
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You can forgive the man who stabbed you...without giving the knife back.

Some people assume "forgive" means "act like it never happened", or "make things the way they were". That's more "forgive and forget". "Forgive" simply means not carrying around the hatred or the grudge anymore. And it can take time and effort to get to that point. But it's well-worth it.

Lex

By your definition I have forgiven him. I have no hate for him or a grudge. However I will never be able to accept any apology or verbalize that I've forgiven him. I cannot absolve him of the weight of what he did and he should carry it for as long as it takes for it to leave a permanent impression on him and hopefully make him learn from it.
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#22
I tell Twist often that my love for him is unconditional. That doesn't mean I can't be hurt, it doesn't mean that he can do no wrong..it simply means that no matter what he does...I will still love him.

I haven't found anything yet that I couldn't forgive but I think the clencher here is that I can't imagine he -would- do anything that I couldn't forgive him for. I guess that means there are things that could happen that I couldn't forgive, but those things? They aren't things -he- would do.

Twist has a huge, compassionate heart and a very definite moral compass so those unforgivable things aren't really within his scope.
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#23
Unfortunately we haven't heard back from the OP even though one of the replies was around the same time and some more were within an hour. Too many times we do not hear back from people who start these threads and so I hope this is not one of these threads, because I am kind of curious about the reason for this thread.

Is it just a hypothetical for some discussion, or maybe you're the person wondering if he should forgive or the one seeking forgiveness? Either way, you need to wary of ideas like "If you really love someone you will forgive them of anything," because that might be some manipulation. You do something awful and then try to make someone else the bad guy by saying, "You must not really love me if you're not willing to forgive me." We should not just automatically expect forgiveness from the ones we have hurt.
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#24
TwisttheLeaf Wrote:For me? Honesty. Hands down. They are both important, but if I can't love without reservation, then there's no damned point. If there's no honesty? There will be loads of reservation.

I agree. without honesty, how do I know when you say you "love" me that it's honest and true?
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#25
Hey, guys, sorry for not replying and thanks for your answers. I have something going on in my life right now that I wouldn't want to discuss but your opinions are making a lot of sense to me.
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