Bitterness on Gay Speak

[meridannight]

but the advice given on this site is sometimes appalling....people either telling other people it's okay to just go fuck someone or to just forgive someone for sleeping around.

this is isn't bitterness.

i strongly believe every person should do what they want to do. if they want to sleep with a person outside their marriage/relationship, they've thought about it and know it's what they need, then they have every right to do it.

and yes, i am also for forgiveness. it's impossible to break down all the possible scenarios here, but if it's a general single isolated incident, not a recurring cheating with promises never to do it again, i don't see a problem with forgiving. i leave every person to their own discretion, they have the right to determine what they will or will not tolerate, but there is nothing bitter about forgiving. on the contrary.

[Pyromancer]

I must not be reading the same threads as the OP. I've never seen the masses of bad advice he claims is here at all.

Neither have I...I also have never seen anyone here condone infidelity. I suspect that if I were to post that I cheated on Kev, for whatever reason I could muster in my own defense, I'd get a severe and unanimous ass-kicking.

You say that you find MikeW to be bitter in his posts...you read it as bitterness, I read it as bottom-line realistic. And I'm not clear on what open relationships and hook-ups have to do with cheating.

I don't cheat. I'm not into random hook-ups. I know that an open relationship wouldn't work for me. But those are MY standards. I have no right to impose them on others or to claim some sort of moral high ground.

I don't see a lot of bitterness on this site, I would really like to see at least one specific example...

[TwisttheLeaf]

Barry.... from reading your responses I'm wondering if "bitter" is the correct word for what you're trying to point out?

It sounds more like you're speaking about those that have what you would perceive to be a more 'jaded' view. Which is not the same thing as bitter, yeah?

[Rareboy]

That's fine East.....all I was trying to do was share an opinion I had and be HONEST...but maybe you guys are too close to allow someone else in. I do not regret my posts in any way. It's the way I feel and that is that. Maybe this place isn't for me....it used to be...I used to love to come on here many years ago. A lot of the people that used to be here helped me through a very dark time, but if it has gotten to the point that I cannot post my opinion without being attacked then maybe I should just take my leave. Love to all!----Barry

^ You are hardly being attacked.

But the tone in your OP was arch and judgemental.

Just because you wouldn't forgive a straying partner doesn't make you better or stronger or somehow more morally centred than anyone else here.

You're the one who opened the door and threw a bucket of shit across the rug. Own it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Yes Gayspeak is full of highly opinionated, jaded, bitter individuals. In the real world we call them 'gay men'.

What most gay men fail to realize that most LGBT are seriously fucked up in the head due to how badly we get treated by the rest of the world. Trust me, every time you hear 'gay' used as a negative e.g. 'That Prius is so gay.' it tells you that gay is bad and it chips away at your self esteem, it fucks with your heart and mind sufficiently enough to cause you to become a little more bitter, a wee more jaded, and a lot more defensive of not only your being a homosexual, but of every other position you hold to be true that identifies you as a human being.

The other aspect here is that for gay men (at the very least) there is no global agreement on what a healthy gay relationship should be like, how it should be done. We all have our varied opinions on what a gay relationship should look like, how it defines its self.

What you are pointing out here on gayspeak is not by any means exclusively a gayspeak thing - nor is it and internet thing - As an old man I can tell you that faggots have been bitchy queens riding high horses for at least all the years I have been out of the closet and around 'the gay scene'. If I throw in what my gay elders had to say about faggots back in their day, this trend goes all the way back to Steve - you know, Adams husband.

[Darius]

I only read one out of every 50 words because there were just so many words, so all I can say is....SUNDAY AFTERNOON DRAMA.

[LJay]

Barry, I don't think bitterness is the right word for whatever it is you are getting at. We are all different. Along with the idea that gay people can marry has come the idea that radically different models of permanent relationships can exist. Sometimes, though I may disagree, I just live and let live. Part of the reason for this is that I have gotten to an age where I realize that no individual can set the terms for us all. There are many ways of dealing with life.

[MikeW]

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Now I understand what people mean when they say 'when donkeys fly'.

[JackTX]

I know, I say, I have, I'm not, I do believe, I believe, I've read, My husband and I, in my opinion, We do not, we do not, we love, our relationship, our marriage, You should, it bothers me, [I] realize, we are going to have to

Maybe it's not fair to edit you that way but when you read them together and see that were all in a single paragraph, perhaps you can understand why people felt you were pontificating and judging