Gideon Wrote:Before I met Twist, no matter who I was with, I always felt like there was still something missing. I was always still on the lookout for that perfect someone. Always waiting for that one to come along who just turned my head and left me "wow'd".
It was probably a sucky thing to feel and not at all fair to who I was with at the time, but it's true, even if I didn't realize I was doing it at the time. And I didn't realize I was doing it until I found -The ONE-
When I hooked up with Twist, from the first moment, he wow'd me. At first I couldn't believe I'd gotten so lucky to find someone who's gorgeous and smart and talented, who has such a huge heart and such a beautiful soul. And then, slowly, I realized that I wasn't doing that anymore...I wasn't looking, I wasn't waiting for my prince charming to come along...I'd found him.
I can honestly say I am -completely- content, satisfied. He made me whole and as corny as that might sound, it's true. I have no desire to look anymore, I -know- I have the most beautiful man on earth...inside and out. And everyone should be envious of that. Not just cause he's gorgeous, but because -I- found it. I'm the lucky bastard who he's in love with.
*Grins*
Gideon, how did you get so lucky?
Your story has eluded my entire life.
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It sounds like a case of love vs lust. You love your boyfriend, but lust after those "out of your league".
Why don't you give us some more information about your relationship with your boyfriend. Why do you like him? What attracted you to him? Did you "settle" for him, or did you start dating because you truly liked him?
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You are young and you are shallow. So I am going to share something with you that you may (or may not) discover as you mature: Looks Fade.
Genuine beauty IS in the eye of th beholder (too existential for you?)-- Let me simplify: It is the beauty one possesses on the inside that lasts.
~Beaux
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omg.
What are people trying to do to me today...make my head explode?
So you think you've 'settled' because you can't do better in the looks department.
It sounds like there's more wrong with your relationship than this. Honestly, my partner and I probably didn't care much about looks at all when we connected...he thought I was kinda cute...I thought he was kind of youngish bearish hot. We looked beautiful to one another. And everyone thought we were beautiful together.
34 years on...well...guess what? Looks don't matter to us at all anymore. They have nothing to do with love. Never did. Love was based on something else entirely.
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Beaux Wrote:You are young and you are shallow. So I am going to share something with you that you may (or may not) discover as you mature: Looks Fade.
Genuine beauty IS in the eye of th beholder (too existential for you?)-- Let me simplify: It is the beauty one possesses on the inside that lasts.
~Beaux
I'd like to hear more about the relationship. I realize the OP went off about looks, but perhaps things are deeper and he has yet to share?
I do agree with everyone else though, looks are hardly the end-all, be-all of the dating equation. A relationship requires a complex chemistry of attraction that if it is lacking, often dooms the relationship to fail. But let us hear more about this relationship, it sounds intriguing.
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bolson14 Wrote:Gideon, how did you get so lucky?
Your story has eluded my entire life.
...he got by giving...my impression is that these 2 don't have a 50/50 relationship...it appears to be more 100/100...with each of them always trying to give more...when you make a relationship about giving instead of getting, all sorts of lovely things happen...
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Pyromancer Wrote:...he got by giving...my impression is that these 2 don't have a 50/50 relationship...it appears to be more 100/100...with each of them always trying to give more...when you make a relationship about giving instead of getting, all sorts of lovely things happen...
Strange, because I always feel like he gives SO much more than I do, and deserves so much more than I can give. It makes me try harder, but still, he's just amazing yeah?
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Thanks everyone for your comments.
I appreciate them all.
When I first met him, I thought he was great both in terms of looks and personality.
I started dating him because he had something special that others did not.
(Maybe, it's because other dates were mostly one-night stand only.)
I still want to stay with him because I feel that if I leave him, I won't find anyone better than him.
Many times, I feel that I found someone special too early. He is my first boyfriend. I have never dated anyone before. A part of me wants to date other people (wanting open relationship). But I cannot because I am already with someone that I feel right to be with.
I don't want to leave him just because I want to experiment dating. But this feeling of wanting to try if I can find someone better ( in terms of looks) exists. This gives me a hard time to process.
Maybe I feel hesitant to say I love him the most because I didn't have so much dating experience to finally make me feel that he is the right one.
I am trying to not let lust get me, but it is so strong and many times it is bigger than what is right (to be with him).
I'm sorry for this damn post. It frustrates me to write this but I need some insights as well.
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Ahhhhh....actually...that explains alot [MENTION=22677]ironboard[/MENTION].
It would totally depend on who each of you are as human beings...and how willing you are to open your minds...and how strong of a connection you both have...because I know something that might help...but it really isn't a solution for everyone....
So...before I elaborate...let me ask you this. Are you willing to tell him what you have told us? Do you think it would "hurt his feelings" too much...or is he the type of guy who can get his ego out of the way and listen?
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ironboard Wrote:Thanks everyone for your comments.
I appreciate them all.
When I first met him, I thought he was great both in terms of looks and personality.
I started dating him because he had something special that others did not.
(Maybe, it's because other dates were mostly one-night stand only.)
I still want to stay with him because I feel that if I leave him, I won't find anyone better than him.
Many times, I feel that I found someone special too early. He is my first boyfriend. I have never dated anyone before. A part of me wants to date other people (wanting open relationship). But I cannot because I am already with someone that I feel right to be with.
I don't want to leave him just because I want to experiment dating. But this feeling of wanting to try if I can find someone better ( in terms of looks) exists. This gives me a hard time to process.
Maybe I feel hesitant to say I love him the most because I didn't have so much dating experience to finally make me feel that he is the right one.
I am trying to not let lust get me, but it is so strong and many times it is bigger than what is right (to be with him).
I'm sorry for this damn post. It frustrates me to write this but I need some insights as well.
Okay...this makes more sense to me. I can understand the feeling that maybe you settled down too soon/too young...I've heard that type of complaint from many people, straight as well as gay. If you've only had a sexual relationship with one person, you can't help wondering what else might be out there..."the grass is always greener syndrome...
To be honest, I feel more kindly disposed toward you at this point...the way that you phrased your first post made me think that you were a total dick...sorry...
All I can say is, you need to take a hard look at what you really want...whether the relationship is satisfying in enough ways to maintain the status quo...or whether you're dissatisfied enough to venture out...
Recently, I was whining to [MENTION=20947]MikeW[/MENTION] about still having the hots for a guy I dated briefly...fortunately, Mike knows me and my situation pretty well and was able to hit me with a couple pointed questions/hard truths...for me, now, it's clearly not worth it - as Mike said, what Kev and I are trying to build is way too important to screw around with...but each of us has to make that decision for himself...I have no idea what's right for you...I'd like to hear more about him, what his attitudes are toward monogamy and just toward the relationship in general...
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Love compromised
