Love compromised

[MikeW]

Thanks everyone for your comments.
I appreciate them all. ...

Yes, as [MENTION=22470]Pyromancer[/MENTION] has said, what you're saying now makes way more sense. Previously and as in the subject of this thread, you were making it about "love"... this isn't about "love"... it is about libido, sex, lust, wanting to experiment. *That* I can relate to. I think almost every gay man who has been in a relationship, especially for any length of time, feels that.

I suspect where [MENTION=18508]East[/MENTION] is headed is suggesting you try an open relationship with very clearly established rules IF that is possible within the relationship you have now. It is a very delicate and touchy subject.

[ironboard]

@ East,
I told what I said on the post to him. It was very difficult for me to say this to him and it hurts him a lot. But I wanted to be honest with him, I didn't want to hide anything from him.
He understood. But he would still want to stay with a jerk like me.
I love him and I want to change, so I am posting this here.

@ Pryromancer,
I know what I want from relationship: to be with someone that I can connect to. And this is him. But, like i have been telling here, sexual drive often exceed what is right.
My boyfriend is what I am all looking for from a guy in terms of personality. He is just perfect guy to be with. But, like I said, appearance comes in my mind by me comparing him to others.
[MENTION=12475]Mike[/MENTION],
Open-relationship is not an option. He doesn't like it. I thought about it once, but I cannot do it because I would feel like I am betraying him.

[Gideon]

Gideon, how did you get so lucky?
Your story has eluded my entire life.

*Grins and shakes his head* I have no idea, man.

All I can tell you is that wonderful things can find you when you least expect it.

I -am- a lucky SOB though, aren't I?

[ShiftyNJ]

Looks are worth of a glance or a turn of the head, and no more. I can still do that, and appreciate good genes or what have you, but it doesn't make me want to walk away from what I have, which is so much more.

[catshello]

How would you feel IF.. he stopped by to dump you.. For another person's looks? There's something to think about ..

[East]

@ East,
I told what I said on the post to him. It was very difficult for me to say this to him and it hurts him a lot. But I wanted to be honest with him, I didn't want to hide anything from him.
He understood. But he would still want to stay with a jerk like me.
I love him and I want to change, so I am posting this here.

@ Pryromancer,
I know what I want from relationship: to be with someone that I can connect to. And this is him. But, like i have been telling here, sexual drive often exceed what is right.
My boyfriend is what I am all looking for from a guy in terms of personality. He is just perfect guy to be with. But, like I said, appearance comes in my mind by me comparing him to others.
[MENTION=12475]Mike[/MENTION],
Open-relationship is not an option. He doesn't like it. I thought about it once, but I cannot do it because I would feel like I am betraying him.

[MENTION=22677]ironboard[/MENTION]...I think it is FANTASTIC that you shared this with him. It tells me that you really do love him.

Maybe now...think about what foundation you would like to have in your relationship. Really think about it...give yourself some time....

Nothing exists without a foundation. The foundation my relationship has is "honesty - truth"...and so we can and do trust each other to always be honest. If I have that...I can handle anything else...

Now for the lust "thing". At some point...you will have to embrace this...together or separate. All the wisdom and the words in the world will not help. You have to understand it for yourself.

Open relationships are just one option. The one I would suggest...sharing your fantasies with your boyfriend...and letting him share his as well with you.