Sexual Surrogate

[Iceblink]

A sexual surrogate is a trained and certified professional who works under the direction of a licensed psychiatrist/psychologist/sex therapist. Less than 15% of their contact with a given patient is direct sexual activity...the rest involves teaching techniques, touch therapy, etc. I have a friend who does it and it soo does not sound like a job I would want...

So yeah...I think what you actually want is a rentboy...

He means a rentboy or a hookup. He is using "surrogate" as in the sense of somebody else stepping into the role of this Panera guy, which is still ridiculous because the Panera guy does not have any kind of sexual role with the OP. There is no role for someone else to step into. He is not his boyfriend. He is not a fuck buddy.

OP, there is no kind of agreement or expectations between you and Panera guy. You are free to go out and fuck whoever the hell you want.

[East]

Unless you enjoy the fantasy and understand it is probably a fantasy...I would just ask him if he is interested or not and be done with it versus hiring a prostitute...

One of my "things" I did when I was bartending...I had an hourglass and a rope noose and when someone started in on a crush or unrequited love...I would say "hold it"...and get the hourglass (it was 10 minutes worth of sand) ...and then I would tell them "OK..HIT IT"...and for 10 minutes I would let them drone on about how they wished/wanted/desired whoever it was...and promptly when the last grain of sand fell...I would tell them "TIME OUT :eek:...and now you have to STFU..."

All of the bar regulars were very familiar with this routine and knew when I got the hourglass out what I was doing... LOL...and they would help me with my dilemma

If they didn't STFU after the hourglass was done...out came the noose and the chair and the other customers...already very familiar with my bullshit....would yell DONT DO IT...

I know...I probably sound like an asshole...because I was...but I also had their best interests at heart (as well as my own..who wants to listen to THAT for more than 10 minutes :eek...and their best interests would be me trying to get them out of their shell and give them a push to participate in their own life. Sometimes you gotta be an asshole to help someone out

It was worse if they told me they were afraid of rejection because if the guy was in the bar at the moment...I would walk up to the object of their affection despite their pleas and protests and tell the object of their affection that I didn't think they were that special but the guy over there can't STFU about you so PLEASE make my life easier and let me introduce you so I don't have to hear about how cute you are anymore....

...and yeah...I was right. No one ever "died on the spot" like they threatened to do...and I actually had quite a few couples I had introduced under my belt...ones where I had to do all the heavy lifting....

Everyone who knew me pretty much was familiar with this "thing" I did....because I truly believe that all you have is RIGHT THIS MINUTE..so what the hell are you waiting for?

If it was me...next time I saw him...I would say...

"hey Panera guy...I want to have your baby. ....or you can have mine...so lets fuck"...

[Camfer]

I think you shouldn't wait for Panera guy or for anyone. I think you should take the money you would have spent on a 'sex surrogate' and use it with a legitimate therapist to explore if, why, and how you are creating a fantasy relationship with someone. I don't see how your thoughts around this guy are healthy for you. I've had obsession, so I speak from my own experience.

[abcd1234]

Actually he has given me a few clues. He treated me nice on my birthday.I caught him cruising me once.We hold eye contact longer than normal and he touches me on the arm shoulder and hand.I always wink at him flirtaciously and he doesn't discourage it.The first time we met we looked into each others eyes in a certain way.I'm not that blind where I can't read signals.

[Rareboy]

Well then get the fuck on with it. You are 58, not 18.

Time and tide wait for no man and if you think he might massage your prostate, then for heaven's sakes, stop dawdling and ask him if he wants to fuck.