Gym buddies

[STP]

Hi everyone! Im new to this forum.

I am not openly gay to family or friends in general, but a month ago I started going with two male friends to the gym. I started becoming physically attracted to one of them... Im fairly confident that they are both straight, so my questions are:

• Is it strange for gay people to go to the gym with straight friends?
  
• Should I tell them that I am gay?
  

They are not homophobic, but the thing is we change on the gym so I see them semi-naked. I imagine they could be uncomfortable with the idea of me looking at them while they change if they knew Im gay.

Id like to:

• Reduce the anxiety Im feeling every time I go to the gym because I have to act like I dont think one of my buddies is cute
  
• Respect their rights (IDK if they kind of have the right to know, given that we are gym buddies)
  
• Not lose them as friends, even if I decide to come out to them later.
  

I appreciate any advice on this, thank you, cool forum!

[hank]

I'd suggest not bringing it up. It doesn't seem necessary. If they find out they find out. It's not really relevant to that particular relationship.

I sneak peaks in the locker room, who wouldn't? Just don't be obvious and it shouldn't be an issue.

[LONDONER]

If they are straight (I loathe that word, what does that make us; "crooked"?) then respect them for their oriientation just as you would hope they would respect yours and don't try anything. No need to bring your orientation in to the open. Just enjoy their company and take a sneak now and again for your pleasure. No, it's not strange for gay people to go to the gym with straight friends. When I last went to a gym I had a gym buddy who had an incredible body and who was not only straight but also deeply religious. He helped me a lot with my work outs. He said that he liked my attitude because I was willing to try out evrything he suggested.

[Butterfingers]

I wouldn't say a word, I sneak a peek when I can, I have found guys looking at me as well.
I think men like to compare.

[ShiftyNJ]

Agreed with above. Unless the one you are into gives you some serious indication that your feelings are reciprocated, unfortunately you have to suck it up (heh) and live with that tension. You don't want to feed into the notion (which many het guys have) that gay guys can't control themselves.

[MikeW]

I don't see why it should be strange for a gay man to hang out or socialize with heterosexual men in any context, the gym included. You're not going to the gym to cruise, right? You're going there to work out.

So far as telling them, I think it depends on your friendship with them... how close confidants they are. You might not want to share this while you're all changing in the locker room. However, when you're all out for a beer or something you *might* want to share that pice of personal information. If they're not homophobic as you say, this shouldn't be a problem. It might make them feel a *tad* uncomfortable with you in the gym but probably not as much a you might think. Some men are very shy about their bodies but others seem to like both looking at themselves and showing off a bit.

[Pyromancer]

If they are straight (I loathe that word, what does that make us; "crooked"?) then respect them for their oriientation just as you would hope they would respect yours and don't try anything. No need to bring your orientation in to the open. Just enjoy their company and take a sneak now and again for your pleasure. No, it's not strange for gay people to go to the gym with straight friends. When I last went to a gym I had a gym buddy who had an incredible body and who was not only straight but also deeply religious. He helped me a lot with my work outs. He said that he liked my attitude because I was willing to try out evrything he suggested.

Honestly...what you said about respect is huge...if I know a guy is...not crooked lol...I'm strict with myself about not doing or saying anything overtly sexual...think a moment about this scenario...a woman who knows you're gay but is always behaving sexually around you...uncomfortable much...?

To the OP...why would you tell them when you say that you're pretty much not out to your friends? Do you perhaps harbor a secret fantasy that the one you think is cute might somehow reciprocate...be careful, that sort of thing usually doesn't end well if you act on it...

...and no, nothing unusual with straight and gay guys working out together...

[Lexington]

[*]Is it strange for gay people to go to the gym with straight friends?

It's not strange at all for gay people to go anywhere with straight people. I've gone to straight strip clubs with my straight friends, and they've gone to gay strip clubs with me.

[*]Should I tell them that I am gay?

I'd say you should. Not because of the changing room situation so much as the fact that you're friends, and you should share stuff like this.

Lex

[ShiftyNJ]

I'm getting post-labels myself... I usually just say "into dudes" or "into girls".

[hank]

I don't see why it should be strange for a gay man to hang out or socialize with heterosexual men in any context, the gym included. You're not going to the gym to cruise, right? You're going there to work out.

So far as telling them, I think it depends on your friendship with them... how close confidants they are. You might not want to share this while you're all changing in the locker room. However, when you're all out for a beer or something you *might* want to share that pice of personal information. If they're not homophobic as you say, this shouldn't be a problem. It might make them feel a *tad* uncomfortable with you in the gym but probably not as much a you might think. Some men are very shy about their bodies but others seem to like both looking at themselves and showing off a bit.

I agree, if you are close to them you should tell them.