Is vanilla for one a fetish for another?

[Butterfingers]

many things that don't seem to far out there for me are seen as a fetish by others.
If you use a feather, it's a fetish, have sex with a chicken and your a perv.

Isn't it all just relative?

[ShiftyNJ]

I agree with that but I also think the definition of a fetish (as opposed to a kink) is that you can't get off without it, or that you you can't be around whatever object or body part does it for you without getting aroused, even in a non-sexual setting.

[CellarDweller]

I heard the same thing, Shifty.

Dr. Drew was doing a show back in the day on MTV, I think it was called "Love Lines" or something like that. An audience member asked Dr. Drew about fetishes, and as Dr. explained, if it's a behavior that you enjoy doing, it turns you on, BUT you're able to be fulfilled sexually WITHOUT participating in that behavior, it's considered a 'kink'.

If the behavior HAS TO be there for you to orgasm or enjoy sex, then it's defined as a fetish.

[Butterfingers]

I should have said kink, fetish has become too widely used to describe everything outside of vanilla.

[StingRay]

Most straight people are pretty boring about sex. I found out fast not to go talking to just anyone about my set of kinks. All I have to do is let one wrong person know and overnight thirty more are talking about my business.

This talk about labels makes me think about what I saw they did with LGBT adding about another ten letters to it. When I saw that I laughed and said fuck it. I came up with calling everyone either heterosexual or unheterosexual. I aint going to sweat details bothering about differences between transsexuals and transformers or any of the other sexual subdivisions. Folks are folks and thats all I need to know to treat them as folks. I guess part of if is I don't want anyone trying to label me either. Just like me or dont for being just who I am without labels and I will do the same.

[Wade]

[MENTION=21440]StingRay[/MENTION]

Transformers... brilliant. If I felt I was a woman trapped in my man body I would totally change my name to Megatran.

[jimcrackcorn]

It's all about "Sex" Relatively speaking, of course (smile).......................

When the Kink/Fetish/Perv is not in play (which is the majority of your day) then it's love & friendship that holds you together. Well,,,,,,, there's also money and assets to help hold you together when the love & friendship does a Humpty Dumpty on your ass (big grin).

I'm just jealous because I can't remember what it was like to even have a kinky sex life, or a Fetish or Perversion!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I'll go put a dab of whip cream on my strawberry muffin ---- that's about as wild as I get nowadays...

Boringly,
Jim

[TwisttheLeaf]

I would say the line between vanilla, kink, and "too extreme" is different for everyone. In fact, I've learned this myself with Gideon on more than one occasion, even in online venues.

Gid likes to throw me into walls. I like to punch him in the nose. *smirks* We LIKE violence and fighting mixed into our foreplay, and know exactly what -kind- and how -much- is needed to get us there. I like his fist on my throat, squeezing while I blow. I like it when I can taste my own blood in my mouth as he fucks me because... well, because I'm bleeding.

To -most- these things would be considered far TOO extreme. Hell, there were times after I'd been attacked that I couldn't handle any violence at all, and it's definitely tamer (and different) now than it was before the attack. But that shit still freaks people out, and we've even been kicked off online sites for that particular kink.

That said? I don't think I'd consider a feather necessarily "vanilla" either. Because it's about what is being done with the feather, and it's about who is wielding the feather, the dynamic between the two. It -could- be vanilla. It could also be the hottest Dominant/submissive sex ever known to man.

[Gideon]

I would say the line between vanilla, kink, and "too extreme" is different for everyone. In fact, I've learned this myself with Gideon on more than one occasion, even in online venues.

Gid likes to throw me into walls. I like to punch him in the nose. *smirks* We LIKE violence and fighting mixed into our foreplay, and know exactly what -kind- and how -much- is needed to get us there. I like his fist on my throat, squeezing while I blow. I like it when I can taste my own blood in my mouth as he fucks me because... well, because I'm bleeding.

To -most- these things would be considered far TOO extreme. Hell, there were times after I'd been attacked that I couldn't handle any violence at all, and it's definitely tamer (and different) now than it was before the attack. But that shit still freaks people out, and we've even been kicked off online sites for that particular kink.

That said? I don't think I'd consider a feather necessarily "vanilla" either. Because it's about what is being done with the feather, and it's about who is wielding the feather, the dynamic between the two. It -could- be vanilla. It could also be the hottest Dominant/submissive sex ever known to man.

*Just gives you that stare* Damn but you're a -sexy- motherfucker...

*Grins slow* All mine

[Butterfingers]

@ Gideon and TwisttheLeaf, Sounds unique and hot. I am glad that you guys have this together.