Not a very good timing

[Cinestry]

I was hoping I eventually wouldn't feel the need to write this post, as it probably makes me sound like some whiny puppy, but after trying to sort out my thoughts I'm starting to feel like I'm only making things even more complicated so I hope you guys can clear it up a bit:

About two months ago I met a guy at an information meeting about international exchanges at my university. We got along really well, so we met up a few times afterwards to discuss ideas about financing the whole adventure. (He is going to Oregon next year and as some of you already know I'm going to New Mexico).
Looking back at it, I probably shouldn't have met up with him that often as soon as I realised that I was getting a bit TOO excited about our little meetings. I mean, it's not a good idea to fall for someone right before spending a year so far away.. but I think it did happen.
I didn't want to just stop talking to him, so I decided to just be honest and I explained the situation. He was very understanding and told me to do whatever I needed to do. He also suggested to keep a little distance while I sorted everything out. We had this conversation the day before I flew back home to spend a month there.
But that night he texted me something that very much sounded like he had the same feelings and it completely swept me off my feet and I've been doubting about way too many things ever since. I'm flying back to Scotland on Monday and I can't expect him to be patient forever, so I guess I'd like to have figured myself out before then.
I can't get him out of my head no matter what I do, but I will be on the other side of the world, then again so will he, but still that's so far away. I feel like I just can't make a rational decision anymore, I'm so overwhelmed by all these thoughts and feelings.
What to do, what to do?

[Borg69]

Follow him to Oregon.

[Pyromancer]

What did he say in the text that has you so flustered?

Anyway --- am I correct that you're both coming to the US next year? I assume you mean in the next school year, and not in 2016? So...if you were to date each other for a couple months... you could certainly stay in touch...text, email Skype...long distance relationships can work, particularly those which are time-limited...in your case, it would be a year. You'd have to discuss whether you both wanted to keep it an open relationship while you're apart or not..

You need to try to relax a bit and talk it over with him...tell him everything that you're feeling and see where things go.

[Lexington]

I'd say enjoy your time with him, but if you're committed to doing these other things, don't chain yourselves together. Agree to stay in touch. Go visit each other if you can. And if the relationship keeps up, feel free to start planning things with each other in mind.

Lex

[MikeW]

...I'm so overwhelmed by all these thoughts and feelings.
What to do, what to do?

OH, to be 21 again and even HAVE these problems!

Seriously, though, you don't say what the "decision" is that you need to be "rational" about.

Personally, I'm all for guys having as much fun with one another as they can stand for as long as it lasts. It might be a night, a week, a month... who cares? Ok, so parting is such sweet sorrow, and indeed it hurts but its not like its the end of the world. People do move on with their lives.

In a way it is good fortune. There is a deadline you both have to contend with which, to my mind, means you should make the best of what you can have for as long as you can have it. You both already know this won't last. What sense does it make to NOT enjoy what time you DO have together? To protect one's self from feeling grief, loss, loneliness, separation? Trust me, son, you're going to feel those things many, many times in your life. Ok, so, why try to avoid it? Why not embrace those painful feelings with as much openness as you embrace the pleasure and fun?

[Iceblink]

Sometimes in life we take the jump and take a risk when it comes to love or finding love and upend our lives and move to be with someone. That is usually something done when two people have started a romantic relationship. You are not that far yet, so it would not be a good idea for you to do so. Keep in touch with him and see what happens. Since you are both international students, I am assuming the person you met was one also, there will be the four day U.S. holiday Thanksgiving will be coming up in November. If things seem to be working out in your communications, since neither of you are U.S. citizens, this holiday probably doesn't have the same importance as family time as it does to Americans, so maybe you can make plans for him to come to New Mexico or you to go to Oregon and see how things go. Whatever you do, do not be altering your life plans for something this early in the game.

[Cinestry]

[MENTION=21075]Borg69[/MENTION] : I never got an offer from the University of Oregon, so I can't go there.

All the things [MENTION=22470]Pyromancer[/MENTION] and [MENTION=21778]Lexington[/MENTION] say are what I would really want, but I guess that's just my heart speaking. When my head pops up I just feel like those thoughts are too idealistic and then I feel like believing what [MENTION=20947]MikeW[/MENTION] says would be more honest. Especially the part that says 'You both already know this won't last'. That basically is the one thing that is holding me back. I don't think I would want to start something, already knowing it is a dead end. He doesn't seem like someone who'd go for that either for that matter.

The text basically said that he would like there to be more than just friendship and I agree with this, but then the idea of 'but it seems to be only temporary' keeps coming back.
I did tell him this as a reply to that text. He said he thinks it would work and that he would love to at least give it a shot, he made me feel like maybe it isn't that obvious that it wouldn't last. But then again, I couldn't really tell if he wasn't just being overly optimistic so I told him I wanted to think things through a bit more and that's how I got here really.

[Camfer]

When you're both in the US, you can book a few flights to see each other. You can go roundtrip Albuquerque/Portland for $250 on Southwest Airlines if you buy in advance.

So calm down and have fun without planning your wedding and dropping out of school, okay?

[Cinestry]

Whatever you do, do not be altering your life plans for something this early in the game.

Neither of us is thinking of changing our plans. We will go to the universities we got accepted at, no matter what happens between us.
I do like your idea of just staying in touch and maybe meet up if we are still getting along later on.

[Bricg1970]

I don't see any harm, keep in touch, meet up from time to time and have fun I wouldn't commit my plans in such an early stage