04-26-2015, 09:16 PM
Hello all,
I hope you are all well. It has been so long since I have posted something with you all, I thought it was time that I came on here and updated you all on my life.
As some of you know, I released my debut novel, The One, this February. It was a book about a particular member on this forum that came into my life and broke my heart, even though we were never together, nor did we pursue each other on a romantic level. I wrote it to find closure, and for a time, I thought that the book helped me find it.
Just before my book was published, this particular person came back into my life for a short time. I told myself that I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice with him, and promised myself that I wouldn't let my feelings for him get in the way. For a while, it worked. We resumed being friends, but because he was afraid of what his current/future boyfriends would think of him hanging out with a man who once had feelings for him, he ceased all contact with me; reopening the wound that I had worked so hard to sew back together. This time wasn't as hard as the first; I didn't cry, I didn't go into a state of depression, and I didn't write another book about him, although I did kinda get obsessed with trying to find out what his problem was with me.
I am happy to tell you all that I have officially moved on. I have finally found the closure that I was looking for. It took me over a year to find it, but I eventually found it. The closure came when I realized that this guy was not the love of my life; he never was. But because he met the criteria of who I thought my dream man would be, I allowed myself to fall for and even worship someone who wasn't even remotely who I need to spend my life with.
I realized all of this when my current boyfriend came into my life (Yes, I have a boyfriend!). I have only known him for two weeks, and been in a relationship with him for a day, but he has already surpassed any expectations that I have had for a man. He has set the bar for me. And even if things don't work out between him and I, at least I'll know that I'm worthy of love. This guy has made my book, and my feelings for the other guy, irrelevant.
I wish him well in his future endeavors and relationships. I no longer hold any grudges against him, because I know I have moved on to better things. And I couldn't be happier for myself.
I hope you are all well. It has been so long since I have posted something with you all, I thought it was time that I came on here and updated you all on my life.
As some of you know, I released my debut novel, The One, this February. It was a book about a particular member on this forum that came into my life and broke my heart, even though we were never together, nor did we pursue each other on a romantic level. I wrote it to find closure, and for a time, I thought that the book helped me find it.
Just before my book was published, this particular person came back into my life for a short time. I told myself that I wasn't going to make the same mistake twice with him, and promised myself that I wouldn't let my feelings for him get in the way. For a while, it worked. We resumed being friends, but because he was afraid of what his current/future boyfriends would think of him hanging out with a man who once had feelings for him, he ceased all contact with me; reopening the wound that I had worked so hard to sew back together. This time wasn't as hard as the first; I didn't cry, I didn't go into a state of depression, and I didn't write another book about him, although I did kinda get obsessed with trying to find out what his problem was with me.
I am happy to tell you all that I have officially moved on. I have finally found the closure that I was looking for. It took me over a year to find it, but I eventually found it. The closure came when I realized that this guy was not the love of my life; he never was. But because he met the criteria of who I thought my dream man would be, I allowed myself to fall for and even worship someone who wasn't even remotely who I need to spend my life with.
I realized all of this when my current boyfriend came into my life (Yes, I have a boyfriend!). I have only known him for two weeks, and been in a relationship with him for a day, but he has already surpassed any expectations that I have had for a man. He has set the bar for me. And even if things don't work out between him and I, at least I'll know that I'm worthy of love. This guy has made my book, and my feelings for the other guy, irrelevant.
I wish him well in his future endeavors and relationships. I no longer hold any grudges against him, because I know I have moved on to better things. And I couldn't be happier for myself.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
