05-04-2015, 08:10 PM
I'm here for community and support, I'd like to tell you a little about myself.
I'm a musician and a programmer/database admin. I'm a pretty normal friendly guy, who can make friends easily. I came to this site though because I've had to stop being around some friends who helped me. When my wife and I met and well after we were married she was very supportive of the fact that I'm bi. She even encouraged me to seek out men that she also enjoyed being around, (not sexually, she never participated in that part). I've been married for 10 years now and that has definitely changed. For the most part this changed after we had kids together. I completely understand that she wouldn't want me fooling around when we have a family. No problems there. I guess the problem is that to her me being gay or bisexual or whatever you want to call it has become an evil dirty topic that isn't to be talked about, even in private. If I am found on this forum for example it would be a big bad deal.
I love my wife, and I DO NOT want to break up our family. I know that many people would say that I should leave because she doesn't love me for who I am etc... the only problem with that is that I don't want to leave. Do I miss the openness that we used to have, yes of course. I don't just mean the open relationship part, but the open acceptance of each other that we used to have. Now she has turned into a super conservative, almost to the point of conspiracy theorist crazy. She's always quoting things that so and so said, (with no sources), and when I look them up they are usually complete B.S. So I feel that we've lost that too. She's turning into her parents and I'm probably turning into mine. At least I certainly resemble my family, which has several out of the closet gays and generally has a very academic progressive thinking point of view.
I'm not here for advice exactly... I just hope to feel that sense of community that you get from being around people who share some common interests.
I'm a musician and a programmer/database admin. I'm a pretty normal friendly guy, who can make friends easily. I came to this site though because I've had to stop being around some friends who helped me. When my wife and I met and well after we were married she was very supportive of the fact that I'm bi. She even encouraged me to seek out men that she also enjoyed being around, (not sexually, she never participated in that part). I've been married for 10 years now and that has definitely changed. For the most part this changed after we had kids together. I completely understand that she wouldn't want me fooling around when we have a family. No problems there. I guess the problem is that to her me being gay or bisexual or whatever you want to call it has become an evil dirty topic that isn't to be talked about, even in private. If I am found on this forum for example it would be a big bad deal.
I love my wife, and I DO NOT want to break up our family. I know that many people would say that I should leave because she doesn't love me for who I am etc... the only problem with that is that I don't want to leave. Do I miss the openness that we used to have, yes of course. I don't just mean the open relationship part, but the open acceptance of each other that we used to have. Now she has turned into a super conservative, almost to the point of conspiracy theorist crazy. She's always quoting things that so and so said, (with no sources), and when I look them up they are usually complete B.S. So I feel that we've lost that too. She's turning into her parents and I'm probably turning into mine. At least I certainly resemble my family, which has several out of the closet gays and generally has a very academic progressive thinking point of view.
I'm not here for advice exactly... I just hope to feel that sense of community that you get from being around people who share some common interests.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
Aries
