Waiting List for Surgery

[Jay]

As few of you guys know, I have previously done several surgeries to remove loose skin all over my body due to morbid obesity (Was 363lbs (165kg). I suppose to have at least 2 - 3 more surgeries to go.

Outcome of (Surgery) Appointment

I had to go back and forth to the hospital several times for the past few months just to get today's appointment. The appointment was at 2pm.

I was expecting Mrs. Farah for the consultation as she handled my previous surgeries. But I was greeted by a different doctor. I thought maybe he's a new plastic surgery surgeon.

"Mrs. Farah is in the other room; consulting another patient." He explained.

I nodded.

"So I already went through your medical history and as far as I understood, you have done 3 surgeries with Hospital HUKM. What's the next surgery that you are seeking for?" He asked.

I explained to him the situation and the surgery that I'm planning to do. I supposed to complete this new surgery on last 2012 but it was cancelled by my surgeon, Dr. Faizal as he was ill. The surgery was then forwarded to 2013 but under Dr. Farrah as Dr. Faizal left the hospital. The surgery on 2013 was then cancelled by HUKM.

The doctor excused himself to discuss with Dr. Farrah on the other room. He returned shortly.

"Well you are still in the waiting list. You are listed at number 7 in the waiting list..." He said.

"Okay..." I was relieved to hear that.

"But ... you have to wait for another year or two to perform this surgery." He went.

"Sorry, come again?" I was confused. I thought I was number 7 in the waiting list.

"We only have one plastic surgery surgeon left, which is Dr. Farrah. Yes, you are on the waiting list but priority is given to cancer patients, burnt patients etc. You are under cosmetic surgery so priority is not really given to you..." He explained carefully.

I went quiet.That was hard to swallow. I have been waiting for this surgery since 2012.

The doctor obviously noticed my face expression changes to disappointment. I felt like my future just crumbled down in front of me.

He began to stutter and did his effort to sooth me.

"What if I do it in another government hospital such as HKL?" I asked.

Before Dr. Faizal left HUKM, he asked me to continue the surgery in HKL as he has few friends (Specialists) over there. But I declined as I thought it's best to do it in HUKM as I've done three surgeries in HUKM.

"Same situation or worse ... chronic patients are priority. Cosmetic patients are not. That is how it works in government hospital." He answered.

"I'll wait then ... as I have no other choice..." I said to him timidly.

"We will call you once it is your turn. But again, bear in mind, we will only call you in another year or two." The doctor said.

I stood up slowly and said thank you to him.

The first thought that comes into my mind after I left his room, "I'm doom..."

I had mix feelings. I understood the situation Mrs. Farrah is having but feel rather unfair as my surgery was cancelled twice; two years in a row. I didn't cry but I was ultimately disappointed. I wasn't expecting this to happen. It has messed up my future plan.

I was hoping to complete my last 2-3 surgeries before I reach 35. I want to focus and complete my other goals after 35. I refused to be in a relationship because I wanted to focus and complete all of my surgeries. Healing from a surgery takes huge commitment. The first surgery on 2011 requires me to learn to walk again and more.

Now I have no idea how to plan my future. I have to revise everything.

I didn't go home after I left HUKM. I went to gym to complete my usual workout. Despite my disappointment and was deeply hurt by the unexpected news, I was able to do my workout like normal. I didn't allow myself to think about it whilst working out.

I know people left to right see me as the miracle kid with a strong heart and determination whatsoever due to my achievement but in the end, I'm only human. This news cripples me down.

"...Well at least I have two years to get fit again...because I'm fat now..." I quietly joked to myself. I did gain few pounds after the last marathon.

I'm kind of alright but lost right now. Hopefully I'll find a new direction to follow very soon.

Another 2 years ... heh.

[Darius]

I can imagine it must be frustrating and disappointing, but don't put off love if it comes along. You want someone who will love you even with imperfections, just as you will need to offer that unconditional love to someone else.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Two years isn't that far down the road.

If you are doing this because you think you well get better love chances, I hate to be the one to point this out, but that will only open the doors for more shallow people to be in your life.

In more theological terms - or spiritual terms - we all are presented with out own issues and problems to work through, cope with, deal with and through all of that we choose to become either better or worse people.

Perhaps there is a couple more lessons you need to learn about _____________(fill in the blank when it comes to this situation) before you can move on as a better (or worse - your choice you know) person?

[Beaux]

I know that is of little help, but you will be in my thoughts hon. Disappointment can be insidious and eat away at your selfesteem, so please be mindful of this and fight against the depression that can so easily follow bad news.
You remain young and healthy, and have a beautiful heart. Keep your head up, and try to maintain as much optimism as possible. Your journey is far from over!
XOXOXO,
~Beaux

[Camfer]

That is very disappointing. I feel you put in a call to Dr. Farrah and plead your case, asking her to fit you in earlier than the expected long wait. If you explain the extraordinary achievement of losing so much weight and that you have already had the surgery delayed for years, perhaps she could schedule you earlier.

[ceez]

like everyone else said, it's not the end and the two years will probably fly by. you have to be adaptive, this goal has been put on hold so now you can look through your list and push something else ahead of schedule. plus you're cute enough, the other surgeries can wait

[Bookworm]

Aw Jay, you've come so far and already turned your life around and achieved so much! Don't forget that. You never know, priorities can always change unexpectedly and they may be able to schedule your surgery sooner than you thought, given that its already been delayed twice. Lets hope so anyway

[East]

(((Jay)))...I would have to give it some thought for the definitive answer but without thinking...I am going to say you may very well be the strongest person I have ever known.

I hope you take this disappointment and turn it into a strength. There are always roadblocks along the way...some of them very challenging as you very well know...but remember it is about how you deal with these roadblocks in the end....and I know you have it in you to do that....

So...keep your chin up and maybe even consider or re-consider the different location if it is actually an option..eh?

[LJay]

You seem to have been through a lot of hard work to reach the present. I would go with the suggestion above to contact Dr. Farrah and plead your case, but I would also use your obvious determination and drive to continue with conditioning and exercise for general health. That will put you in good shape when the surgery does happen. Keep up the good work. You are an inspiration to those of us who struggle with weight daily.

[Rareboy]

Look. If it had been me...I probably would have gone out and bought a tub of ice cream. You went to the gym. You won.

I would contact your other doctor and explain that this wait has imposed a great psychological stress. Perhaps you really should consider having it done elsewhere?