Waiting List for Surgery

[trywait]

you've come this far in your journey jay! waiting since 2012, I can understand why your patience is wearing thin. it's only human nature. but if you think about all the other people that may have a higher priority, I think you would empathize why they are moved closer.

hang in there mate. in the mean time, continue your self-improvement! it's worked wonders and a testament to your discipline and hard work!

[Cuddly]

I am sorry. It's understandable that you want to end this chapter, but as Bowyn said some extra skin will not prevent you from finding love.

[Pyromancer]

Cosmetic surgery is not covered by health insurance in the US...it's considered an elective procedure.

Three and a half years ago, I had four surgical procedures after being slashed and stabbed by a stalker. That, along with extensive physical therapy, returned me to being fully functional. However, I had extensive scarring on my shoulder, chest and hip. My health insurance at the time (crappy student insurance) refused to pay for cosmetic surgery to repair the scarring because it wasn't "medically necessary". When I started my present job, there were a lot of reasons why my new insurer also refused.

As of July 1st, I'll be going on my BF's insurance because I'm leaving work to go back to school. Because he works for the city, it's really, really good insurance. The HR rep I spoke with said that he's pretty certain he can get it covered...he said that documentation from a mental health professional about the psychological effects can get it classified as necessary. This is the first time that anyone with knowledge and authority has tried to help. My former insurers and doctors just brushed me off. I'll have to wait til next summer so as not to interrupt the school year, but the end is in sight!

So yeah...I can empathize with what you're going through. In a way, it seems worse for you because you've accomplished so much through your own strength and determination, and THIS is what you get? But, being who you are, it's obvious that you aren't going to let this slow you down. That just wouldn't be you. You're completely entitled to feel disappointed, frustrated, angry, depressed...but I suspect it won't last too long.

And, if you should happen to meet someone, don't let this hold you back. Yeah, I had one guy who was completely grossed out by the scarring...but I also found others who took it in stride. My perverted bf incorporates it into sexual role playing, enough said about that lol...

So...you go guy! I don't believe that there's ANYTHING that can stop you!

[Jay]

Thank you for the kind words, everyone. I truly appreciate it.

Surprisingly, I'm doing alright right now.

I had mixed feelings on the day that I received the news. It wasn't exactly thrilling to hear that I have to wait for another 2 years because I roughly have about 3 more surgeries to go. So the idea of waiting 2 years for every surgery ... I can't even fathom that. My positiveness dropped a level.

I tried to cheer myself thinking that, "Oh, that means I have more time to look physically better before the surgery."

But that was just a tiny voice cause the bigger voice said, "You've prepared for years. Who are you kidding?"

Private hospitals are out of question due to cost. Before I settled in HUKM hospital (Semi gov), I went to a private hospital for quotation. The plastic surgeon quoted $40,000 per major body part excluding room, medicine etc. The plastic surgeon also recommended me to do plastic surgery on my face by inserting cheek implants and facelift.; I didn't even ask him to do so.

My insurance agent has noted to me several years ago; they do not cover my surgeries as my surgeries are considered as cosmetic.

"Are you in any way mentally affected by the condition, which requires you to do these surgeries?" My insurance agent once asked.

"...No. I'm not mentally affected." I answered.

"So we can't help you there as we only cover illnesses as listed in your insurance subscription." She said.

I was in terrible pressure and disappointment because I'm almost there in reaching my goal (to remove skin flaps) but now, stumped.

But the murky feelings didn't really last long. I returned to normal 2 to 3 days after the news. I'm not sure why I bounced back easily but maybe because I've had worse things in life. So I become hard as nails now.

I still sigh and don't like what I see when I take off my clothes but the sigh only last for several seconds.

Last night, I went for a dinner with my closest friend, who goes to the same gym. The guy has physique to die for. I didn't tell him about the waiting list news until last night because I wasn't thrilled to tell people about it.

He told me that I am not doom and I'm putting pressure on myself because I made myself so. He said I got caught in comparing myself to other gym physiques when I shouldn't have. I come from a different background thus I shouldn't compare myself to other gym members.

"You should feel proud because everyone else looks highly on you for your accomplishments..." He said.

It's true what he said. When I started out my weight loss journey, I wasn't thinking of anyone else but me. But for the past few years as I become physically better, I begin to look for 'inspiration' to follow.

I picked wrong group of people to follow; I chose muscular guys who never had weight loss issue or went surgeries. I should have thought of Jon Calvo as we have similar background. He was 340lbs and I was 363 lbs. He has already completed all of his surgeries.

My close friend is a dentist and his big sister is a doctor in another gov hospital. He told me that he will ask his sister if there is a possibility to get me into her hospital. By using insider probably makes things a bit easier...though I feel guilty for having to use an insider.

Each one of you are correct. I appreciate every point and thought given by everyone. Like Bowyn said, I still have many things to learn.

I've signed up and preparing myself for my second marathon, which is Standard Chartered Marathon. It will be held on 4th October. It's just the 10km long distance running. I'm still not capable to do full marathon.

I also have decided that this is the right time to learn to drive a car. So I've signed up, paid my fees and will be taking my computer test on next Thursday. I'm taking manual instead of automatic. So I can be fully prepared if Madmax happens in real life.

I read and re-read every message from all of you to learn on how to carry out my life like a student feeding thoughts from teachers. I appreciate every message from all of you.

Don't worry of me. I'm doing alright now. I still have a lot of things to prove to myself so I don't have time to sulk and feel down.

Thank you everyone. Love you guys very much.

- Jay

[Pyromancer]

[MENTION=21041]Jay[/MENTION] --- I don't believe that "hard as nails" is the proper description. What you are is resilient, which I think is one of the most important qualities for success in life and for real happiness. There's no point in comparing yourself to anyone else, because you stand head and shoulders above the crowd!

[Jay]

[MENTION=21041]Jay[/MENTION] --- I don't believe that "hard as nails" is the proper description. What you are is resilient, which I think is one of the most important qualities for success in life and for real happiness. There's no point in comparing yourself to anyone else, because you stand head and shoulders above the crowd!

I've discussed with my parents. Since my surgery has been officially delayed for at least 2 years, I most probably will go back to study next year. Part time, that is.

In my mind, it's either going back to study or run a part time business that hopefully can grow as a full business. But then I thought why choose one when I can try to do both. So best wishes.

A friend of mine, who happens to be a motivational speaker suggested me to become a motivational speaker too. We'll see.

Thank you for the kind words, Pyromancer. I will continue to give my best effort in everything I do.

[JohnSomebody]

I'm sorry that you were met with disappointment after being so hopeful. However, I was taught that many times when you are facing the unexpected and feel that you've done all that you can do and is at a reaching point...this when something wonderful happens that is well beyond your expectations. I feel this is going to happen to you with this situation. I have faith that this situation is going to work out in your favor in such a wonderful way. You've come too far in your journey to end this way...thy will be done in the name of Jesus...

[Jay]

Thanks, John. I'll be alright. I was disappointed when I got the news but I'm doing okay now. It's either because I am so used of waiting for so long or maybe I'm just mentally strong. Could be both.

I'm filling the gaps in between with marathon, wall climbing, studying, working etc. Anything that can help me steer away from thinking about my surgeries.

I'm also taking the opportunity to continue to improve my physical. Pushing myself as hard as possible. Aiming to be more muscular and leaner than what I am right now. I've tortured my body for years by becoming morbid obese so I owe my body a good health and all.