I got 99 problems and...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Well... Since she used a phone, you might as well assume that that photo is now off on some other computer, if not already making the rounds on the internet.

You need to let this actor fella know right now what has happened so he can do damage control since, I believe, you said he keeps his gay side on the down-low.

As for the flat mate's GF - she has to go. She has violated you and your guy-friend. If the mate doesn't like it then you need to tell him that there are lines that shall not be crossed - ever.

IF she puts that photo on the net, she will out the guy. That is plain wrong, and could end up doing a lot of harm. You need to get your mate to understand just how much damage a single photo could do for your guy-pal-actor.

My rule of thumb when I had roommates and was in a relationship or something was to establish rules of conduct when it came to "dates" or "partners".

For instance, this whole leaving the GF there without letting you know was one thing that wouldn't go down. We established right off the top that we would personally see to it that the other roommate(s) would know if we were leaving a guest in the house when we left.

Also, for my own sake, I go from room to room to check to see if anyone is there when I am entertaining a potential mate or a partner - because I am well aware that things can get rather heated without warning - so its ALWAYS best to check just before your 'date' arrives...

Hopefully nothing will come of this photo, and this situation will learn you a few good lessons which will lead to better roommate communication and strong policies about dates/partners. And of course, to look bothways before you cross traffic.

[East]

I would be furious with your friend.

I don't think he is as good of a friend as you think he is. Instead of just telling you she is homophobic...and he knew it...he gave you an excuse why she is instead...as though being a conservative somehow excuses her.....

I would hold him responsible for everything that happens. He brought her into your house..and he knew better.....

As for what lies ahead...it could be really bad. I would consult a lawyer or someone as devious as she is (LOL...a lawyer would probably be a good choice for devious) and figure out how to play hardball with the bitch...

[meridannight]

do people really have this much drama in their lives?

[Beaux]

I call BullShit! I just watched this ENTIRE STORY-LINE play out on a new TV show called Sense8 last night! This isn't even an original lie, you stole it from TV! My husband had the whole season on DVR!
~Beaux

[Rareboy]

So...you got back together with the closeted celebrity, and let your best friend who you agree should never be your roommate move in with you, and made out with closeted celebrity somewhere besides behind a locked door nobody can access, and drunkenly added-by-mistake the celebrity's stalker on Facebook...

...and it didn't turn out well? Who could've possibly foreseen?

The photo is hers. To do with as she sees fit. She took it in a home she was welcome in, in a place that she was (presumedly) allowed to be in. She's not blackmailing anybody - she didn't ask for money or recompense for the photo. She can post it online, send it to the tabloids, whatever.



Ain't it?

Lex

Hey OP.

wow. I wouldn't want your life.

[Rareboy]

busted......

[strider65]

how about grab the cell phone, throw it off a 10 story window, slap her silly and tell her silly ass if she ever fucks with you again she and her progeny will regret it for the next 10 centuries?

you're allowing yourself to be bullied by a bully. slap her into next week or evict her. I don't mean literally slap her... what I do mean is, demonstrate to her that this sort of behavior does not entitle her to walk around amongst civilized people and you will evict her ass so fast it will make her head spin as long as she continues to demonstrate sociopathic behavior...

[mvoco]

I call BullShit! I just watched this ENTIRE STORY-LINE play out on a new TV show called Sense8 last night! This isn't even an original lie, you stole it from TV! My husband had the whole season on DVR!
~Beaux

Beaux, I was going to say 'what the fuck is Sense8?' and maybe have a little rant but... Never mind. Yours is the least relevant comment on here.

Yes people, I know its a lot of drama and its not what I've been used to. Believe it or not I've always been the relatively sensible one, the one who played it safe. This time a year ago I would have laughed in your face if you told me I'd be dealing with this kind of shit. I broke up with the guy initially because it was too complicated.

In the meantime I realised - fuck it! I like him. I love him. I know he is not in love with me and this relationship isn't going to last forever, but while it lasts - I will deal with the drama. It might freak me out a little (or a LOT!) sometimes and I will in all likelihood question my sanity sometimes - my friends have already done so. But I realised I'm tired of playing safe.

I got to meet Ian McKellen, Harriet Walter - two of the most brilliant British actors! I have gone to plays I never would have considered. I have gotten a glimpse into a whole other world that I would never have known if it were not for this man. I have also dealt with some horrible stuff because of this relationship, but I feel like the good has outweighed the bad. And I don't want it to sound like I will put up with anything because he's a celebrity and I might get to meet more famous people - it isn't that. I now know more stuff about the history British railway system than I ever did before because of him too! We discuss all sorts of stuff. He has a way of making everything interesting. He makes life interesting and I want that right now.

I don't come on here to make up stories for people I don't know because - what's the point? I come here because this stuff is so new to me and my friends haven't always been entirely objective on the matter. So I come here to clear my head mostly, to get things clear - I find explaining to someone else helps me make sense of things sometimes. Also, in case there is someone here who has faced a similar situation - I know better these days than to think anything too far fetched! I don't come here to have someone I don't know tell me that whats going on in my life can't real because something similar happened on tv. Life is a hell of a lot more interesting and nuanced than anything on tv! I'm bordering a rant here again so I'm going to leave that aside now.

If anyone is interested in what happened with the photo - nothing. As far as we know. My mate watched his girlfriend (now ex) delete the photo from her phone. Of course we can't be sure whether she had saved it on another device or already sent it to someone else (she swore she hadn't), but so far it hasn't emerged anywhere and she had been threatened with legal action if it does. My face couldn't be seen in it and only a side/partial view of my boyfriend's face could be seen but enough for anyone who knows him to recognise it was him.

I told my boyfriend about it and I was actually amazed by his reaction. Basically, he said if it was out there, it was out there (and he was "out" there!). His agent panicked more than him by the sounds of it and seems to be the source of all this pressure to keep his sexuality under wraps. We're still really hoping the photo doesn't appear anywhere though obviously.

The woman who added me on Facebook, his "stalker", was more of a worry as far as he was concerned. She had also added a friend of his - who hadn't accepted (not being an idiotic clumsy like me), but had posted photos from a party we had both attended on his Facebook and they were publicly viewable. I wasn't tagged in the photos but I had liked the album and I guess thats where the woman tracked me down. She has been contacted by his agent and asked not to try and contact my boyfriend's friends or family in online or indeed in person.

[MikeW]

...In the meantime I realised - fuck it! I like him. I love him. I know he is not in love with me and this relationship isn't going to last forever, but while it lasts - I will deal with the drama. It might freak me out a little (or a LOT!) sometimes and I will in all likelihood question my sanity sometimes - my friends have already done so. But I realised I'm tired of playing safe.

...He has a way of making everything interesting. He makes life interesting and I want that right now.

... I come here because this stuff is so new to me and my friends haven't always been entirely objective on the matter. So I come here to clear my head mostly, to get things clear - I find explaining to someone else helps me make sense of things sometimes. ...

If you're happy, we're happy, or at least happy for you. I can understand wanting to get out of your safety zone... especially while you're young. All of us who are the least bit interesting have had adventures and survived them. I also understand using a forum as a way of articulating and refining one's perceptions. I've been doing it for years.

Good luck!