Problems with bf..

[Adi]

I know it's one of these topics that are repeatedly showing there but Ive gotta ask you about some advice/

First of all Id like to say that im from Poland and Im sorry for every gramma mistake I will make.

So there goes the situation I'm in:
Ive been with my BF for 2 years. My parents know that we are together and they kind of accept it but we have never spoken about it loudly, cause my sexuality is something we dont talk about. Thought they know about me for 4 years already. But let's go with the topic.
Recently few uncomfortable situations are happening.
1. He is rude to me as hell when we are with MY friends, he hasnt got his, so he always hangs out with me and my mates (they know about us for like 2 weeks). For example he treats me like a shit when we are with 'em and everyone notices it but noone knows how to act (i warned him that one more time and im going to punch him so hard that he wont be able to speak ever again). H
2. He fears to touch me, hold my hand, hug me when we are with my mates despite the fact that earlier he did it and now he doesnt want. I asked him why but his responses were always that I did it in a wrong place or that he didnt fancy doing it.
These mates ive got now are the ones i met at my university and we really got close to each other so Ive decided to tell them about myself and him. It's rather impossible that he got angry at me cause I told 'em, cause my best friend knows about us, everyone in the High School were aware that we are a couple and he never had any problem with that.
3. He moved to student's house in order to live closer to me (before he was living in a village 25 km away, now he's living like 100 metres from my home). Im visiting him everyday but sometimes he uses some stupid excuse to make me leave earlier and today I discovered something really frustrating - his roommate is also gay... And I had no chance to meet him personally cause he was always out when I was in his room.
It made me thinking if he wasnt lying to his roommate that he is a single and he doesnt want us to meet each other. I cant ask him personally "HEY ARE U CHEATING ON ME?" cause if I did he would totally say fuck u and wouldnt speak to me for week or even longer, as he usally did when i said something that wasnt "at place".
4. The thing is that im not sure if I love him anymore, he has changed so much since last 2 months that I dont recognise the guy I loved in him anymore... To be honest even sex became rather boring cause he just lay there and ive got to BEG to have it..
Since the summer I have taken care of my body and from slim pussy I became more manly in order to make him want me more, much more than he did before. But it seems to me like all the effort I put into it was for nothing..

I was thinking about breaking up, even talked about it to one of my friends.. But u know guys, 2 years are quite a long time and I dont know what shall I do. Also i gotta add that if we eventually have broken up he would cry just as he did when after being together 6 months he had small romance (kissed other guy while his parents were gone) and told me about it and begged me not to leave him. Coming back to my friend, she told me that Ill always have them and they will support me as much as they can. And also my BF has only me and my mates so he would be left alone ;/ I really dunno what to do, its killing me inside, on my lectures I cant focus on anything but it.. Help me please with making my final decision.. If u need more details to help me, ask me in comments and im going to tell you
By the way, I was searching for some polish gay forum but there is only 1 and it sucks (mostly all topics there was about sex) so I decided to ask there by finding this forum in google..

[Borg69]

Maybe you're spending too much time with your friends, and not enough quality alone time with just him. I'd be uncomfortable if I had to spend all my "together" time with a bunch of my BF's friends too.

I don't think you're respecting HIM, his time, his space, his needs... high enough. It almost sounds like he's just supposed to follow you around like a puppy and watch you do your thing.

[Rareboy]

I think you know what the answer should be.

You don't need to be treated like this and if you are thinking about breaking up...I think you already have.

[Adi]

Maybe you're spending too much time with your friends, and not enough quality alone time with just him. I'd be uncomfortable if I had to spend all my "together" time with a bunch of my BF's friends too.

I don't think you're respecting HIM, his time, his space, his needs... high enough. It almost sounds like he's just supposed to follow you around like a puppy and watch you do your thing.

but i havent said that were spending our entire free time with my friends, its usually on-spot decision hanging out usually in weekend.
gotta rethink it one by one step cause I dont want to do something I will regret later

[Lexington]

Lex

[MikeW]

FIrst of all, welcome to the forum, [MENTION=22526]Adi[/MENTION]… and however this turns out, I hope you keep posting with us.

It is very difficult to advise someone who speaks a different language, lives in a different culture and about a relationship where we don't know your BF.

From what you said, though, it sounds like you two aren't *really* communicating. Like, "Why do you treat me like shit when we're with my friends? Seriously, I'd like to know why you do that so we can figure out a way so you don't feel like you *have* to do that.." OR… "Hey I'm really surprised to find out your roommate is gay and, TBH, that feels a little uncomfortable for me (or whatever is true for you, Adi)… I find myself wondering if you're cheating on me…"

In other words, look at what you've told us about your relationship. You have questions and feelings and are close to breaking up with this guy you've been with for two years. You wonder if you still love him. Well the way I see it to a large extent "love" IS communication (of various kinds). It is recognizing the other, valuing him, respecting him, wanting to be with him, have fun with him, and see him through the good times and the bad. And it is mutual, a two way street. Both feel the same way. Both work at trying to understand the other and trying to BE understood when they speak or act.

So, I don't know… You tell me… Is there hope for the two of you? Do you *want* to continue being with this guy? If not, although it would be painful, I think you should be clear with him about that.

But, like I said at the start, this is just a "guess" … if I could actually see the two of you together, see how you interact and so on, if I could ask you and your BF questions *together* and see how you reply… I'd know a whole lot more. The bottom line for me is, people who care about one another *have* to learn to communicate -- and that isn't just talking about any thing. It is about honestly talking about what is true for you and what is important to you (each of you).

You are very young, too. You have a lot of living, growing and learning about life left to do. I wish you the best!

[Darius]

Hi Adi. Sorry that you are struggling in your relationship. I do not think it is wise for us to help you decide what to do because only you will bear the consequences for what happens, not us.

Have you done everything you can do to clear the air between you by open, honest communication? It sounds like he has changed. Have you? You have some complaints about him, but what about his complaints about you? This is why you need serious conversations.

Let us know how things work out, buddy.

[Albie]

I'll be honest, from that description that you posted he sounds like a bit of a jerk.

You are young, if you lost feelings for him it is time to move on. The longer you go on with a relationship like that, the harder it will be to end it.

If you feel that there can be something salvaged, you should bring up your concerns to him and see if he listens.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I agree with [MENTION=22474]Albie[/MENTION], yeah? I mean... from your description...

1) He treats you like shit
2) He's acting seriously suspicious
3) He acts like a jerk
4) The sex sucks

And most importantly...

5) You don't feel like you love him

If I'm wrong on any of these points, feel free to correct me. It's just how I read things. But if all those points are correct? Then it's time to move on and find someone who makes you happy, and who you can make happy in turn. Because this guy isn't it.