The first date

[artyboy]

Dates are like job interviews, well thats how I find them lol!

To me it sounds all good to me, this is just the first date so dont worry about rushing things, maybe he isn't into touchy feely straight away. Just take your time and keep talking to him. If he wasnt interested he wouldnt be talking to you any more.

[ijulianv]

Don't sweat the small stuff. See where it goes from here. It sounds to me like it was a pretty good date without going to far.

[phillyboy1234]

After some beer and some relaxation with some good friends, I feel better about things. I've had a string of dismal dates so having one which not only went well, but with him pushing it longer and longer really made me hopeful. I think that hope is partly why I focused on the lack of a kiss...or at least a hug...at the end of the date. Yes yes it does take two people. But given it was already on my mind it really just made me feel crappy when someone made fun of the situation.

Overall the date went well. Like any date, things either move forward or they don't. Complicating this is that he has to host his family visiting from overseas, so I can't expect him to just up and hang out and leave them to a city they don't know. However, I will soon know about a second date. If it does happen and it goes well, great! If it does not happen, well then I am certainly confused, but eh, oh well. If it does not happen then more than anything I have realized that he is just odd. Why would you prolong a date by hours if you had not enough interest in someone to warrant a second date?

Thanks for all of the encouragement everyone. I feel so much better. I still feel that my friend was a d'bag. But lesson learned, no more discussing my dating life with him or his partner. I'll keep those juicy details on here only!

[LJay]

You went on the date, not your friend. It was you who had the experience.

Tell us how the second date went and there will be more to base things on. Still, it is your life not the rest of the world's.

[phillyboy1234]

You went on the date, not your friend. It was you who had the experience.

Tell us how the second date went and there will be more to base things on. Still, it is your life not the rest of the world's.

That is true, but by that standard there would be no role for a message board like this in anyone's life: it is my life, why should I care what others think, or even seek out their opinion?

I chose to post and to share my experience. It is my life, but the rest of the world can now hear my thoughts and feelings of that one moment of my life and they can comment as they wish. Although I do hope it is generally more positively written than negative.

[phillyboy1234]

Throughout the week I had heard little from this guy. Then last night he messaged me to ask me to the movies. I replied and then again heard nothing back.

Today, having heard nothing back in now 24 hours, I messaged him that I felt frustrated (essentially, I felt he was playing games around me, as I could see him listed as 'online' on the dating site we met on despite never hearing from him). All of the sudden, as if opening flood gates, the texts poured in. I got my answer: he indeed was playing games.

From what I have gathered, he seems fairly equally torn between dates, friends, and just random fun. He doesn't seem very sure on which, if any, has priority, and there from originates the problem. I guess our date happened during a time in which he felt predominately interested in dates, but has since fallen back into more of an interest into one of the others?

I can't say that I don't feel at least somewhat let down. But along with the letdown, I feel a sense of relief. I guess having an answer really does mean a lot, even if it is not the answer I would have wanted after the first date.

Oh yea I also feel very foolish! But again, relieved.

Thanks for the advice you all posted here. It was appreciated. While it will not help with this case, it still means a lot that so many people on here care.