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Advice please!
#1
Hi,

I'm 21 and about two months ago I started talking to this guy on Grindr and things really kicked off well, we really got on and evntually we agreed to date when he had done his university exams.

The afore mentioned dates however kept getting postponed until he told me after I asked him whether he's interested in dating anymore to which he replied: "I'm not sure, like I don't know if I really want to be dating right now". This I'm relatively ok with, although it was a bitter pill to swallow. However two days before this, exactly a week before this message, we did meet up very quickly and exchanged kisses.

We kept chatting and things went along pretty well and he said that he'd like to have platonic friendship. However, today I met him and we spent a few hours together and we had a great time I thought. All the way through he was complimenting me and calling me 'cutie' and 'sweetie' and I was perplexed by this but I returned the favour as it were.

We sat down on a bench for like nearly an hour and he kept resting his head on my shoulders and we'd have moments of holding hands and looking at each other intimately before he pulled away, reminding himself of the platonic arrangement but this kept happening; he placed a notebook between us so it wouldn't happen but he kept resting on my shoulders and being romantic with me.

He asked if I was alright because I had a moment I like fazed out thinking about these mixed signs of interest, and I said "You know how I feel by now" to which I didn't really get a responce. Anyway we got up, we took a few steps, he then looked around him then pulled me in for a short kiss. He then showed me around Durham Cathedral which was lovely and still he kept calling me pet sames as before. We had a lovely time then I led him to the bus station and we parted with a hug and on good terms.

I thought at the start of the day he wasn't interested in me so I best not get my hopes up but today he was the one 'expressing' signs of interests more than I was. I can't tell whether he's leading me on, giving glimpses of interest to keep me interested in him, or whether he's unsure to go forward dating etc but he likes me in a heart vs brain kind of way. He hasn't had a boyfriend before he told me, so it might be nerves, I'm not sure. I've tried not to over think things but I'd like some advise on how to go forward on this.

I really do like this guy despite what's been going on, and I think he likes me back but something seems to be pulling him away, and I feel today has illustrated that for me; as in to say that although he said he just wanted friendship/platonic relationship he displayed the opposite as in a more romantic interest? I don't think (and hope) I've done anything to push him away because today he was displaying the interest most of the time.

I am notorious for over thinking things which doesn't help, but I came under the impression that he might be leading me on (which I hope he isn't and don't necessarily believe it myself) but him being all cute and romantic to me today despite his insistence on being friends has made me more uncertain about what his intentions are for me (if any). Something doesn't add up, personally I think he's got a heart vs brain thing going on but I'd like to hear someone else opinion on this.

Thank you for your time.
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#2
Hi maybe he's nervous about starting a relationship he may of been hurt in the past. Ask him what he wants because you shouldn't be mucked about or left hanging.
An eye for an eye
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#3
IMO? You need to have another day with him, and TALK to him about this. Ask him about the behavior vs. his expressed desires. Don't be accusatory, just let him know you're confused and need a little clarification, yeah?
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#4
Dan1980 Wrote:Hi maybe he's nervous about starting a relationship he may of been hurt in the past. Ask him what he wants because you shouldn't be mucked about or left hanging.

TwisttheLeaf Wrote:IMO? You need to have another day with him, and TALK to him about this. Ask him about the behavior vs. his expressed desires. Don't be accusatory, just let him know you're confused and need a little clarification, yeah?

Heyy guys, thanks for the advice I really appreciate it. Unfortunately the feelings weren't mutual, I asked him about this last week. He said he'd like to be friends but I came to the conclusion that he was mucking me about all thuis time. It's unfortunate but hey-ho some guys are like that.

But thank you lads for your time to respond to this and for your kind advice. Smile
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#5
KJP1993 Wrote:Heyy guys, thanks for the advice I really appreciate it. Unfortunately the feelings weren't mutual, I asked him about this last week. He said he'd like to be friends but I came to the conclusion that he was mucking me about all thuis time. It's unfortunate but hey-ho some guys are like that.

But thank you lads for your time to respond to this and for your kind advice. Smile

*hugs* sorry it didnt turn out how you wanted.
Did you ask him outright why he was all cutesy and affectionate with you if he didnt feel that way?
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