Dating websites - profile pics

[LONDONER]

I struggle with this as well. I want to get to know a person and not care so much about their appearance, although I too recognize that there must be some sort of physical attraction. When people have pics that vary widely, you can ask for an updated pic, but often people seem unable to do this, which begs the question: why not.

My issue with online dating is that it puts so much focus on appearance and so little on anything else. One of my friends put it great: you need to give guys a chance beyond their profile pic. That doesn't mean everyone needs to get a date, but sometimes you need to introspect and ask yourself: do I need a model? Or do I need someone who I quotefind attractive and who I can see myself enjoying an awesome convo with over dinner?

A lot of sensible stuff written here. I always come out very badly in photos or maybe it's the basic material that is bad. The photo in my profile was taken last December so it's not that old although for this time of the year I might seem inappropriately dressed. I use this same photo in the only other site I belong to and I make it quite clear that I am looking for friends, not a hook up. In the months I have been on the site the only messages I have received have been just "Hello" or something totally inappropriate and I have not replied to them. As cestmoi77 says:

"I rather suspect a lot of people on these websites aren't interested in "conversation over dinner"

[Wade]

Here's the pic I use for the front of my OkCupid profile:



I figure it's a nice contrast to all the well lit, smiling jackasses the litter most profiles. Also, it shows me in my natural habitat, and I don't give any false impression that I'm someone who understands joy.

I figure it'll attract someone who appreciates authenticity.

... cards on the table, my theory hasn't worked yet.

Oh, and btw, I'm 92 years old.

[WhatsInAName]

Oh, and btw, I'm 92 years old.

What's your secret?

[Lexington]

I would assume everything on a dating/hook-up profile is meant to maximize their potential for dates/hook-ups. You'll presumably not find many profiles that read "clingy and demanding premature ejaculator seeks soulmate". If they've got an attractive face, that will be predominately displayed. If they've got a large dick, that will be shown or at least mentioned. And I'm assuming everybody flips through a bunch of pictures looking for the "best one" to use. And yeah, sometimes that one isn't very current.

You didn't mention whether or not you went out with him...which suggests that you chose not to. In other words, his profile picture intrigued you enough that you did more digging....and his other pictures didn't intrigue you enough that you decided to date him. In other words, his first photo got you interested...and his other photos dispelled that interest. Which suggests that he chose that first photo wisely.

Lex

[Anocxu]

On scruff there are guys that once you click on the profile it may say 50 years old but looking back on pic you can tell they are at least 10 years younger in it - tbh most that I click on do put an age appropriate age picture, I guess not doing so would mean you don't get messaged as much

I just joined Scruff just to see what its all about really - one of the pics a guy has put up is him wearing his best gym shorts pulling what I can only describe as an angry gorilla pose and he goes by the name Alpha Beast lol.. deffo not my type...some guys do put some very odd pictures up though

I made a scruff profile recently...
I enjoyed it...
Met 2 or three really nice guys..one which I've become awesome friends with..
Here in Florida too many partnered guys are on..
It's a bit of an issue for me..
Deleted my profile...

[RainV]

Realizing one day that time has passed and the body has changed it's sometimes hard for some people, but even harder to accept it. Since in dating websites appearance is the most important card to get attention, there you have the reason why people upload old pictures that don't match their actual age/look.

[AlfredM]

I have to agree also i`m a bitold fashioned in that if you can`t go out and meet someone in real situations there must be something fundamentally wrong! and i found it can be a bit dangerous,how do you know the person you are talking too on a dating W/S is for real? A friend of mine met someone on a dating site.....................he spent a few weeks in hospital recovering from a brutal beating!

You don't..until you meet in person,or at least have a video call. That's why it is advised that you meet someone in a public place first, though I have disregarded this important step a few times,but I was lucky all those time too I guess,judging from what your friend got.

[Insertnamehere]

People like to sell themselves, this is obvious. Dating sites might as well be a market.

It's not difficult to understand that if someone used to be slimer, younger, etc, they would want to show that instead of the actual self.

Oh well, I assume a person will be wise enough to not buy at first look and wait it out until a face to face

[InbetweenDreams]

I can say I have met a few sketchy people with certain dating apps. Some dating apps are better than others. Seems were I'm at POF (Plenty of Fish) seems to yield quality over quantity, but I'm sure mileage will vary. Grindr...is grindr... Unless you are looking for a hookup you're just wasting your time. The only purpose it serves me is eye candy...

[trywait]

I let my profile pic last about a year before I feel I need to update it.. which tells you how wonderful my life is..

If im still looking at dating websites in 5 years time please kill me

kill me 1st before u get onto u