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Relationship Advice
#21
Ezequiel Wrote:Hello,

I am 20 and my fiancé is 20 as well. My relationship is long and complicated kind of. We've been together since Senior year(2 1/2 years now) and engaged at 2 years into it. He grew up and went to school in Maryland and I have been in South Carolina for 5 years and finished highschool here. I met him online through the app Skout when we were both Juniors in highschool. We both started college and he got into issues with his parents and decided to move here with me after one semester, and is going to attend the same college as me starting this Fall. So we've been living together since Jan. 2014, and we've had a number of fights and issues. However, for the past few months I have really noticed a lot of things that are not healthy.

He has always been bigger, around 5'6 and 175, but now he is pushing 215. I used to be attracted to him sexually, a lot. Until he started to act different and gain the weight. I try to get him to go to the gym, but he always says he's too tired to go after or before work. I have always been into the gym, eating healthy, and keeping a healthy weight. No, I'm not the skinniest but I am 5'10 and 180 right now.

Anyway, my main issue is that he keeps getting this really bad attitude toward me like I've done the worst thing to him and every time I talk about it he doesn't understand. I. Try to motivate him to go to the gym and he won't. I am attracted to him, I love him. But Im not attracted to him sexually at all, and I hate cuddling with him because of his weight and him
Simply not understanding how to cuddle. I'm out of ideas. Should I just end it, and try to move on and see what happens, should I wait, are there Any ideas of what I can do to help with this issue?

Please throw something at me, I'm Playing dry here.

Just speaking the truth here: you sound shallow.

That said, you aren't alone. In fact some 'dating' apps base pretty much everything on solely appearance. Ever hear of tinder? It makes money on the shallowness of users. So yea, plenty of company in that field.

However, just really consider what you have said: you like a guy, but you find his looks so repulsive that you essentially want to end it. It sounds like you have no other connection, or at least no connection other than previously both liking each others' looks. So now that you have both grown, one apparently grown somewhat plump, that connection is lost. Sounds like time to move on.

Regardless of what you decide to do, you need to step back and look for what you really want in life. If you only want to date guys based on looks, then you need to be prepared to give up the emotional connection because everyone changes with age.
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