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The Scottish librarian
#1
A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian:

'Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?'

To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says:

'Bugger off, ye'll no bring it back!'
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
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