Gay Crush on a Straight Guy

[Thundanton]

I find it worse when I have a crush on someone that I can't tell if he is gay or not, and I'm usually not close enough to that person to ask them if they are but it's a haunting feeling... the not knowing.

[rado84]

Have you ever had a crush on a straight guy?

Yup. Well, at least he claims to be straight altough I can see some signs he's not.

[ijulianv]

Yup. Well, at least he claims to be straight altough I can see some signs he's not.

Maybe he isn't? Sometimes it's just wishful thinking though. Some guys are just really comfortable with their sexuality. :\

[JCasey]

I came out to a friend who I have known for 20+ years, who has been sending signals the whole time. When I told him I was interested in him he told me he was straight. Despite that he has been demonstrating closeted behavior ever since. He continues to flirt, went to Pride with me (where he stepped out of the closet- behavior wise for the day). Has asked me about sexual position preferences,and advised me on upgrading my wardrobe ( and even carried the bag to the car for me).

Very frustrating given the fact that I promised to respect his stated sexuality. We remain good friends; going to the gym and sauna when he isn't working or spending time with the woman he calls his girlfriend when she isn't around.

I have decided to enjoy the friendship, and informed him that the scope of our friendship is up to him. I said that I didn't want my sexuality to make him uncomfortable.

If anything more is going to happen, it is up to hom, but until then I have a good friend.

[MikeW]

I came out to a friend who I have known for 20+ years, who has been sending signals the whole time. When I told him I was interested in him he told me he was straight. Despite that he has been demonstrating closeted behavior ever since. He continues to flirt, went to Pride with me (where he stepped out of the closet- behavior wise for the day). Has asked me about sexual position preferences,and advised me on upgrading my wardrobe ( and even carried the bag to the car for me). ...

Does he know you perceive these actions as "sending signals" and "demonstrating closeted behavior"?

I'm fine with respecting other men's sexual boundaries. What I'm not so 'fine' with is men giving me mixed messages (or what I perceive to be mixed messages). When that has happened I've tried to politely let them know that (whatever it was) signaled something to me and ask if that was what they intended. I do this for a couple reasons: 1) it is my observation that sometimes straight men are flirtatious without being aware that they are doing so. If I'm attracted to them, this is a problem for me because it puts me in an awkward and uncomfortable position. I feel like I'm having to modify my behavior out of respect for their stated orientation. 2) Men who self-identify as straight but are closeted or questioning aren't being honest with me or themselves. If they are friends, I'm happy to be supportive of whatever process they're going through. But if they're in denial this doesn't work well for what I call "friendship".

[JCasey]

Does he know you perceive these actions as "sending signals" and "demonstrating closeted behavior"?

I'm fine with respecting other men's sexual boundaries. What I'm not so 'fine' with is men giving me mixed messages (or what I perceive to be mixed messages). When that has happened I've tried to politely let them know that (whatever it was) signaled something to me and ask if that was what they intended. I do this for a couple reasons: 1) it is my observation that sometimes straight men are flirtatious without being aware that they are doing so. If I'm attracted to them, this is a problem for me because it puts me in an awkward and uncomfortable position. I feel like I'm having to modify my behavior out of respect for their stated orientation. 2) Men who self-identify as straight but are closeted or questioning aren't being honest with me or themselves. If they are friends, I'm happy to be supportive of whatever process they're going through. But if they're in denial this doesn't work well for what I call "friendship".

Aside from the day at pride, I have been very conscious how I address his behavior. Part of his closeted behaviour includes and emotional shutdown anytime he perceives is stated sexuality to be questioned. A simple joke has earned me 3 days of him not speaking to me. At Pride I was very upfront. At one point he was prancing around so much I told him that he would win an award as the gayest acting straight guy. I did tell him that I regretted coming out to him and telling him that I was attracted to him because it has hindered the development of our friendship. I also mentioned that it is difficult for me to have to be careful of what I say for fear of him becoming offended and not talking to me. I have not identified his closeted behavior by label,, but rather by impact on our friendship. But even after disclosing this to him, we were able to enjoy a great day at Pride. On the way home we were singing along to the radio together, until Nights in White Satin came on. That and the subsequent two love songs were more than I could bring myself to sing with him. However, he belted them out like a champ.

[Pyromancer]

RE Straight guys and crushes.........

2013-2014 I was on a roll with straight friends here who fit one of these situations, always catching me alone at home .....

A. Telling me they always wanted to try it with a guy and then making it obvious they wanted that guy to be me... One of them got up to take a leak and came back with his pants undone wagging his wienie at me... Since then I've gotten real good at avoiding being alone with any new acquaintance until I'm sure he's not going to get freaky.

B. Coming over for sleep over parties during the winter (no drinking and driving allowed - with 12 empty beds) ...... ending up "passed out" usually clothes half off... on my bed...

C. Sending me nekkid pics....... or wanting to get on cam and "chat."

D. Coming over drunk to confess being bisexual and scared to tell anyone or do anything but me... while constantly rubbing their crotches and asking if I have any porn....

hahahahahaha! That mess is over now I hope. If I'm home alone and the door bell rings I peep out the LR drapes to decide if I'm going to answer or not.

Fuck yeah, I'm SOOO sick of "curious" straight guys who want me to be their dirty little secret experiment...I asked one guy if he'd be waving his dick in my face if I was Kev's girlfriend and he told me that would be entirely different...gotta loooove the logic...

[MikeW]

Fuck yeah, I'm SOOO sick of "curious" straight guys who want me to be their dirty little secret experiment...I asked one guy if he'd be waving his dick in my face if I was Kev's girlfriend and he told me that would be entirely different...gotta loooove the logic...

"Straight" boys just want to have fun.

[Virge]

Fuck yeah, I'm SOOO sick of "curious" straight guys who want me to be their dirty little secret experiment...I asked one guy if he'd be waving his dick in my face if I was Kev's girlfriend and he told me that would be entirely different...gotta loooove the logic...

Hahahahahahaha! Glad to know I'm not the only one! They've really put me in some awkward situations.

[SilverBullet]

Cant say that I have
For whatever reason when im near a guy with aligned interests I see him as a potential friend
When im near a guy that I believe to be gay, THAT'S when I see a potential partner ^_^