I hate my appearence and feel unattractive...

[East]

^^^^

Dude...if anyone is representative of the "gay community"..it would be me.....as I worked in and around the gay community and I know thousands and thousands of gay men ....

...and from the very beginning...I told people this..over and over and over again:

For me...people are like cows. They all kinda look the same to me until I get to know them...and if I like someone..I think you look great...if I don't like you..I think you are ugly...and if I don't know you...I don't care one way or the other....

You can be fat or skinny....young or old..have warts...or look like a male Stepford Wife...I don't give a shit about any of that.

One time I was fucking a guy who did part time modeling in GQ among other places and he was considered a head turner and a solid 10 ...and I was also fucking this guy who had a twin and everyone called them the rat twins...and I liked them both equally well in bed and found them both equally attractive..though one of them I eventually found even more attractive because we became very good friends and he did something very very special for me that puts him in my heart forever....and it is the GQ guy...but NOT because of what he looked like..it was because of who he was the made me love him...

...and I can feel your vibe across the computer screen....and people can feel a person's energy easily in person...it is the look on your face...your energy..the way you walk...what you say..how you view things

You already referred to.... in this thread....one good looking and one unattractive person in a couple which means you DO play the same game you hate....I would NEVER even say that...or think it...it is so fucking rude....

Not even once in my entire life have I ever looked at anyone and thought they were unattractive based on their looks.....not even once....

I have thought someone was unattractive based on WHO THEY WERE.....

...and painting the "gay community" with one broad brush is not doing you any favors...people can sense that kind of negativity very easily...and it is not attractive...doesn't matter what you look like....

YOU are obsessed with appearances as much as the people who you say are because you see yourself as "appearance"...and see everyone else as only caring about "appearance"...yet you are W R O N G !!!!!!

[novice]

^^^^

.........You already referred to.... in this thread....one good looking and one unattractive person in a couple which means you DO play the same game you hate....I would NEVER even say that...or think it...it is so fucking rude....

YOU are obsessed with appearances as much as the people who you say are because you see yourself as "appearance"...and see everyone else as only caring about "appearance"...yet you are W R O N G !!!!!!

I'm referring to "appearance" because this thread began with a guy worried about that & not liking his face.

SOMEONE ELSE mentioned THEY hated seeing an attractive guy w/ an unattractive guy. I simply replied that if/when I notice it - I usually think couples I see tend to be similar in appearance - that is, a hot guy w/ a hot guy, an average one w/ an average one, etc.

I also stated in one post that I don't have vast experience (so you, for sure "know" the
"gay community" more so than I do).

Just because YOU don't judge on appearance doesn't mean others don't. Most gay men I've met or dealt with or known of appearance "matters" (a lot). Guys either want to have sex w/ me or much more rarely, date me. There is no in between. This may very well be based on non-appearance factors but most of the time they don't know much more about me than that. But through a dating profile for instance unless they are clairvoyant they can't get a "vibe."

I'd much prefer to have experienced a wonderful, friendly, welcoming "gay community". That has not been the case. It could all be MY fault & all the crap I've seen, experienced or known of just happen to be the unrepresentative minority. I never said there AREN'T decent gays - I just don't meet many of them. And I have encountered more rudeness, judgmentalness & insensitivity in my dealings w/ gay guys than I ever did by men or women in the "straight world."

I think you are hypersensitive to ANYTHING that doesn't match YOUR experience &/or reflects badly on gay men. I am gay but am not going to be biased in my opinion & refrain from pointing out some negative aspects of gay life if & when I see them. Sometimes an "outsider" can "see" things in a "community" that those immersed IN it either aren't aware of, don't notice or have become "used to".

[East]

I think you are hypersensitive to ANYTHING that doesn't match YOUR experience &/or reflects badly on gay men. I am gay but am not going to be biased in my opinion & refrain from pointing out some negative aspects of gay life if & when I see them. Sometimes an "outsider" can "see" things in a "community" that those immersed IN it either aren't aware of, don't notice or have become "used to".

I am hypersensitive to anyone who wants to paint all gay men with a broad brush...you are correct. I am also hypersensitive to anyone who wants to paint black people...or Asians..or women...or any other group...with a broad brush based on stereotypes....

..except for gay Republicans...go ahead and paint away....

Oh yeah...you think I haven't seen men like that? OF COURSE I HAVE...but they represent NO ONE ELSE BUT THEMSELVES. I just don't give them a lot of energy or thought really....and in order for them to have any power over you..you have to give it to them. I know that lesson all too well...but I gave the power to other kinds of men....

Just FYI...I have been picked apart by the best of them...and I lived to tell about it (shudders). Seriously...I don't care. My mom and dad did it all the fucking time so I was well prepared (oh yeah...they were straight). I kinda think it is funny...and I welcome rejection actually because it saves me a lot of time....

[Virge]

...oh my...no...never occurred to me....

I have not much use and little patience for constant and perpetual whiners ...and I am OK with it.

↑ I understand that 100%. I'm willing to help anyone help his self but I'm not going to make it an unending effort with people who do nothing to but come up with nothing but reasons they can't or won't put forth the effort to help themselves.

Everything that needed to be said about this subject was covered in the first two pages... I read [MENTION=20947]MikeW[/MENTION] 's summary and thought "that's a perfect way to wind up.".... and a little further down page two was this and I knew it was time for me to do what I call my Pontius Pilate routine and wash my hands of the drama. I gave it my honest best and so did others. There's no sense in beating a dead horse trying to make it run.

[MikeW]

...There's a couple of reasons why I won't do this and they're actually personal reasons that have nothing to do with safety issues.
...And quite frankly, what you're doing is peer pressuring me when I already said no twice.

I beg your pardon, it was not my intention to "pressure" you. I didn't know you had a personal history with this subject. I was simply putting forward alternative and admittedly radical alternative therapeutic possibilities to be considered IF all else failed.

[subdivisions]

I never considered it a compliment if someone I don't know likes my looks...I consider it a warning to avoid them.

That reminds me. In high school a lot of people thought I was ugly and creepy and didn't want to be friends with me. Then once I started college, apparently I became cute overnight and a girl said she wouldn't have became friends with me if I wasn't.

Way too many of my friends died in their 20s and 30s and a little part of each one of them is inside of me...and I feel privelidged to even be alive...and lucky...

I wouldn't mind dying in my late 20's honestly. It's bad enough we're forced to put up with this bullshit called "life".

I was simply putting forward alternative and admittedly radical alternative therapeutic possibilities to be considered IF all else failed.

If all else failed, I still wouldn't do it.

Another belief I have, though off-topic, is that I'm against chemotherapy and if I had cancer I wouldn't get it. I'd rather let the cancer do its thing.

[Jay]

.I wouldn't mind dying in my late 20's honestly. It's bad enough we're forced to put up with this bullshit called "life".

If all else failed, I still wouldn't do it.

Another belief I have, though off-topic, is that I'm against chemotherapy and if I had cancer I wouldn't get it. I'd rather let the cancer do its thing.

What? I could have slapped you for saying such things.

You have the power to change bullshit into something else; something positive. If you keep complaining or whining, yeah, a bullshit will remain as a bullshit.

I went through hell and had to go through many bullshits in my life. Yep, I felt sorry these things happened to me but I snapped out instantly and take charge because I refuse to live in bullshit life. You determine your own path; whether you want to remain negative, live in bullshit life and complain about everything or be positive, accept that life has ups and downs but will make the best out of everything.

And don't start me with the cancer thing. That's very disrespectful and insensitive to cancer patients who are fighting their lives wanting to live.

[subdivisions]

And don't start me with the cancer thing. That's very disrespectful and insensitive to cancer patients who are fighting their lives wanting to live.

Don't get me wrong. I know that chemo helps a lot of people and I really respect them for fighting cancer. It just wouldn't be right for me personally.

[Lexington]

"This bullshit called life" just means something about your life is fundamentally flawed. And needs to be altered. (Or, you know, feel free to throw it away. Your call.) Nihilism is only cool to other nihilists.

Lex

[subdivisions]

Okay so I know this is an old thread, but I finally decided to post some pictures. These are the most recent I have.

Wondering why something about me must scream "I have daddy issues" and only guys in ther 40s and 50s hit on me (and not even attractive ones either), or just who are just really unattractive.