Is he interested in meeting in future? :/

[Paddyboy]

Hello everyone
I am new here and I'm not sure if this is the best section to post this but here is my dilemma.

So last Weekend was Dublin Pride and i went there with my LGBT society for the weekend
on the first night we went out i met this guy and we would keep making eye contact on the dance floor every once in a while, we would gradually get closer to each other making eye contact every now and then for only a few seconds at a time.

Then one of his mates did something funny on the dance floor and at this stage i was practically standing beside him, he was embarrassed that his friend basically fell on the dance floor and i was saying its funny and no big deal while giggling to myself, we were talking for a few minutes and then he went right it and kissed me and we were kissing for a good while that i can remember anyways.

After a while when we stopped he said he has to leave cause he has work the next day which is was fine, then he took out his phone and told me to add him on facebook so we did that and he left then.

That was fine and the next day I was checking him out on facebook and thats when i realised that he was way more attractive than I remembered and i felt proud of myself.

I didn't see him again that weekend cause i didn't expect to at all, but on the train back home for Pride I was bored so I decided to chat him on facebook not expecting him to reply cause usually people wouldn't but he did and we were talking for a few hours which was surprising.

He told me that he saw me the next day after we met at the Pride parade and waved at me, as he was in the parade, i was surprised he remembered me yet alone noticed me! I told him i didnt see him there and i was flattered he noticed me - we were talking all day which was cool.

Anyways the next day he stopped talking to me completely and he has read my message so now I'm thinking he isn't interested anymore? Its been a few days since we talked now

We are about 3 hours away from each other and we are both in college in different locations so I never really had any expectations but I haven't felt this attracted to a guy since my ex which was over a year ago

I'm just confused as what to do or think about him?
I'm annoyed with myself that I like him so much :/
He seems to notice me which is good and wanted to add me on facebook?
but on the other hand him not talking anymore and the distance?

I just want some advice as to what i should do?
sorry for the long post i just wanted to paint an accurate picture

[MikeW]

I'm just confused as what to do or think about him?
I'm annoyed with myself that I like him so much :/

You'er getting mixed messages or signals. In my experience, this is typical of guys in your age group. Sorry, I don't mean to be ageist but there is some truth to it. It has to do with "attention span" and how MUCH someone is "into" someone else (not to mention for how long). These kinds of flirtations happen and they sometimes lead to something more and sometimes not.

So, what to do. Well, what do you WANT to do? If you want to ask him what's up, do so. If you want to wait and see whether he replies to you later, do so. I don't think there are any hard and fast "rules" here, right?

All I can say, really, is that *you don't know* what his "reasons" are for being how he is.. whether he's just flaky or busy or distracted or into someone else more than you or who the hell knows what. And it really doesn't do us any good to second guess other guys' motivations (or lack there of).

But, yeah, you've gotten your hopes up a bit too fast and so you're a bit annoyed with yourself. You should no better!

[East]

I have a confession....

When I read about what some guys do to other guys...I am guilty of having done the same thing maybe 75% of the time....

...and this is one of them.

So..in an attempt to give you an honest answer...I will think about why I have done this and put it on the table...

#1 reason..they said something that indicates to me that there is no compatibility...or they did a dealbreaker for me.....

One of my deal breakers...if the guy made fun of anyone's appearance ...UGH....we are NOT going to get along except as casual aquaintances......and the reason I stop communication is that I would rather not have to tell them what I really think....

My nasty parents thought they were cute as they made fun of and criticized the way everyone looks..I always wanted to throw up. A lot of gays think they are being witty when they do it...they make me want to vomit...we are SOOOOOOOOOO not compatible

Another instant stop talking thing...if you are a gay Republican.....and the reason would be irreconcilable differences...

There are others too...like being a racist....or whining about your exes too much...or being too negative in general...or sucking the life out of me....or not talking any responsibility for anything in your life....

#2 reason....I started seeing someone else....though I would probably tell the person if that was the case....

#3 reason...but this is only temporary...I might be REALLY BUSY..and then it would take me awhile to get back in the swing of things....

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I have had it happen to me as well...and I just assume they decided they didn't like me or want to get to know me for some reason...and I consider it a closed door...
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I hope you get a good result...

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Oh yeah...I have heard lots of guys in the course of my life tell me about why they stopped talking to this or that guy..fascinating stuff....it really runs the gamut. You name it....

I guess that is why we all have to seek compatibility...and if you want to meet someone..put yourself out there and try meeting as many people as you can so the odds will increase that you will find someone mutually compatible...

[Paddyboy]

MikeW, thanks for your post quite helpful to hear those words
I have been told that I act more mature than people around my age and I am looking for someone and not just a hook up so thats probably why I am finding it hard to find someone as guys my age tend to run around from commitment and as you said lack the attention span
I know that if I overthink the situation its going to end badly probably like it has before, I hate that i get so emotional and over think the 'what ifs' :/ anyways i think i'll leave it a few more days, maybe even a week or so and see from then i suppose

East thanks for your reason and i know there are millions of different ones i'm sure and i have thought about if i said something that would have caused a sudden end to the convo but I cant seem to find one really, like we have lots in common including the same political views and Tv shows for example.
Ive came across this kind of situation before with guys who just stop talking for no apparent reason so i'm just tryna find out if there is something more i can do about it i suppose.
but i think all i can do is let it be and see what happens

[East]

^^^

I had another thought after I wrote what I did...though I figured I already said too much...but just in case.......

I have a weird thing about anyone commenting on my looks one way or the other. When someone says I am good looking...the possibility of us ever getting together stops cold...right there....

...and when you said that he was "a lot better looking than your remembered"...did you tell him that?

...or did you focus on his appearance?...like in an overly idolistic manner?

Some guys like it..but I have met other guys like me who hate it as well...maybe for different reasons...but they hate it nonetheless. One of them was a guy who literally turned everyone's head like dominoes...and he was horrified when anyone told him he was good looking...it also made him want to avoid them...and he did modeling for some major publications.....

He used to sit in the corner of my bar by himself and ask me to "protect him" from that kind of attention...

I don't know if this is the case with him or any of the other guys..but it might be a factor..so I thought I would mention it. Also...too eager is sometimes not a good thing either....

For what it is worth..if anything...I hope it can help you....

[Paddyboy]

Looking back at the facebook chat, we didn't even talk about looks or flirt really, only thing that could have been flirty was that when he said he spotted me at the parade i said i was surprised me managed to see me from the crowd, and he said well i did , and i said i was flattered. and thats about as extensive as it got, apart from that we had quite an interesting conversions about our lives and stuff we liked and it flowed really well so no i didnt say anything to make him uncomfortable about his looks or attractiveness,

also when i say he was an attractive guy, he's not like a model or anything like that, because i work with models almost everyday and I know the difference, but to me he is beautiful and completely my type visually.

I definitely not coming across as too eager to him, I might be infatuated with him enough to think about him but Im not the type of person to smother someone cause.. well.. i hates those kinda people

[Paddyboy]

We actually never talked about appearances at all, i never told him that he was attractive or hot directly to his face, and nether did he The only thing that could have been seen as flirting at most was when he said that he saw me at the parade, and i said oh im surprised you managed to spot me , he said well i did , and i said i was flattered, apart from that we talked about interests and our lives.

Also when i say he was attractive, he wasn't like a model type guy at all, i work with models everyday and I know a model when i see one haha but this guy, too me, is beautiful and completely my type so far.

Also im defo not coming across as too eager, even though i may be infatuated by him im not stalking him or checking him out everyday i just really like him :/

[Anocxu]

You keep saying that you like him..
Besides his appearance,
What do you like about him so much?

You have spent very little time getting to know this bloke <--- ( I'm learning )

Ask yourself honestly..
Do you really like him?
Or do you like the Idea of him..?

Your judgement is awfully premature..

So far you are telling us you like a guy that you met under euphoric circumstances..
Gay pride, maybe alcohol, a night club with awesome lighting...

What is there to like about a guy that downright ignores you?

^^^^
This post might seem cynical and harsh...
I'm just trying to have you understand...

There is a possibility this could have been nothing more than a moment..

Hugs

[Paddyboy]

Well apart from his look, he's not like must other guys i've talked too these days, he is ambitious, has many interests that are similar to mine, we seem to get each others humour and he isn't a slutty or sleazy from my experiance, so over all he seems like a good one in my books.

Ya true i really dont know that much about him or spent that much time with him and im aware of that but as of now i feel like i would enjoy getting to know him more

we were both drinking that night but I wasn't drunk at this stage because it was early in the night when we met. Im not sure if he is ignoring me yet, time will tell and if that is the case then he can go fuck himself then but im just being hopeful for now

Of course there is a huge possibility it was just a once of thing and i would have been totally ok with that, but if that was the case why would he want to add me on facebook and wave at me in the parade and then chat me all day? if he's not interested i'd rather he didn't bother do any of that stuff.