Tough to discuss
07-13-2015, 05:27 PM
Spinz and Darius, thanks for taking time to share your thoughts.
Spinz: Your frankness is admirable and no offense taken. Without knowing me a lot better, I can understand why you made the points you did. If I may, let me try a explaining a couple of points back to you. I have not and still do not want to become involved in a "real deep, loving, intimate, sexual committed relationship" as your refer to. This isn't for everyone. I am not lonely or lacking in activities to fulfill my life. I have friends and relatives that I do many things with. I have the means to acquire just about anything I care to have. However, I enjoy intimate and passionate sexual activity. But I only enjoy it with someone who I have developed a meaningful relationship with based on other conditions besides a romantic LTR. So there is a lot more that goes on between me and the other person besides "hot and ready sex". What has become the challenge is my aging. The number of guys who find interest in exploring gay sex for casual, no strings attached activity becomes fewer when the older guy isn't somewhat attractive or has more in common. The interests of the guys much younger than me are harder for me to find interesting for sharing together. That is understandable to me. So this has lead me to exploring other ways to reach a larger number of young guys. The challenge with this of course is identifying the true motives and desires of the younger guy. I am trying to determine if there are some younger guys that genuinely appreciate someone much older than themselves. I know there are many guys who find someone 20 to 30 years older interesting and sexually pleasing. I have been in that role. My dilemma is I am now up at the 40 to 45 years difference. I may have to resolve that my days of enjoyable NSA interludes are coming to an end. I can deal with that if necessary. I just want to be sure it is what I have to accept. There are certainly benefits to that with regards to financial costs and dealing with the emotional dramas I assist with as these younger guys evolve through pursing their dreams and goals. When you say "It's what is inside that counts", I don't think you give me credit that I have a great passion for what is inside these guys I have been with. That is exactly why I have devoted the time and resources to help them pursue their dreams and goals. I get great pleasure out of seeing them achieve something that is important to them. Not just spoiling them. Sometime this has been a heterosexual relationship and having kids. If you knew me a lot better, I think you would see my intentions are good and my past experiences have been enjoyable for the most part. No regrets. Thanks for your thoughtfulness though.
Darius: I don't consider myself in the closet. I am not out professing my sexual preference to the world. It is more personal to me. I am open to those I trust. There are many family and friends that I can share with that I am not involved with. For the privacy and respect of those I have been involved with, I don't discuss a lot about what I do with who. I provide a lot of support in many ways to a lot of people I am not involved with sexually. To the majority of those who know me, there are no reasons for them to suspect who I might be sexually involved with. Maintaining this discrete behavior is also a challenge for me as I have gotten older. I think one point that may help is that I have never related sexual activity as being an important criteria for romantic love. I enjoy sex and especially pleasing my partner sexually. I have had sincere feeling for just about every one of my past companions. It is what encourages my desire to help them achieve their dreams and goals. In general, it has always been a situation of mutual gratification. I hope that doesn't sound crude. I don't believe you would find any of my past companions to agree with that. Your comment about if I "read and believe" in the internet is a hard one or should I say the "believing" part is. In that past, I have known those who I eventually opened up to about sexual interest. This was when I felt we had built a trust that I could count on. BTW, there have been cases that were not receptive but did not destroy our friendship. It was just the point where they understood it was something I desired very much for a more involved companionship. Again, I am not aware of any negative fallout from this. Believing some (or a lot) of the agendas of those on the internet is hard. Not a problem if I wanted to just be a sugar daddy and have sex toy boys. There is much more I want out of it and finding the right type of guy is probably going to be difficult. I actually thought finding a gay website such as GS where maybe there are more mature and open minded individuals there would be a chance of discovering someone to explore my preferences. CAMFER doesn't seem to think so but I will be patient for a while longer. It seems like many read what is being said but not many comment. Thanks for yours and all the best to you in your pursuit of happiness.
Spinz: Your frankness is admirable and no offense taken. Without knowing me a lot better, I can understand why you made the points you did. If I may, let me try a explaining a couple of points back to you. I have not and still do not want to become involved in a "real deep, loving, intimate, sexual committed relationship" as your refer to. This isn't for everyone. I am not lonely or lacking in activities to fulfill my life. I have friends and relatives that I do many things with. I have the means to acquire just about anything I care to have. However, I enjoy intimate and passionate sexual activity. But I only enjoy it with someone who I have developed a meaningful relationship with based on other conditions besides a romantic LTR. So there is a lot more that goes on between me and the other person besides "hot and ready sex". What has become the challenge is my aging. The number of guys who find interest in exploring gay sex for casual, no strings attached activity becomes fewer when the older guy isn't somewhat attractive or has more in common. The interests of the guys much younger than me are harder for me to find interesting for sharing together. That is understandable to me. So this has lead me to exploring other ways to reach a larger number of young guys. The challenge with this of course is identifying the true motives and desires of the younger guy. I am trying to determine if there are some younger guys that genuinely appreciate someone much older than themselves. I know there are many guys who find someone 20 to 30 years older interesting and sexually pleasing. I have been in that role. My dilemma is I am now up at the 40 to 45 years difference. I may have to resolve that my days of enjoyable NSA interludes are coming to an end. I can deal with that if necessary. I just want to be sure it is what I have to accept. There are certainly benefits to that with regards to financial costs and dealing with the emotional dramas I assist with as these younger guys evolve through pursing their dreams and goals. When you say "It's what is inside that counts", I don't think you give me credit that I have a great passion for what is inside these guys I have been with. That is exactly why I have devoted the time and resources to help them pursue their dreams and goals. I get great pleasure out of seeing them achieve something that is important to them. Not just spoiling them. Sometime this has been a heterosexual relationship and having kids. If you knew me a lot better, I think you would see my intentions are good and my past experiences have been enjoyable for the most part. No regrets. Thanks for your thoughtfulness though.
Darius: I don't consider myself in the closet. I am not out professing my sexual preference to the world. It is more personal to me. I am open to those I trust. There are many family and friends that I can share with that I am not involved with. For the privacy and respect of those I have been involved with, I don't discuss a lot about what I do with who. I provide a lot of support in many ways to a lot of people I am not involved with sexually. To the majority of those who know me, there are no reasons for them to suspect who I might be sexually involved with. Maintaining this discrete behavior is also a challenge for me as I have gotten older. I think one point that may help is that I have never related sexual activity as being an important criteria for romantic love. I enjoy sex and especially pleasing my partner sexually. I have had sincere feeling for just about every one of my past companions. It is what encourages my desire to help them achieve their dreams and goals. In general, it has always been a situation of mutual gratification. I hope that doesn't sound crude. I don't believe you would find any of my past companions to agree with that. Your comment about if I "read and believe" in the internet is a hard one or should I say the "believing" part is. In that past, I have known those who I eventually opened up to about sexual interest. This was when I felt we had built a trust that I could count on. BTW, there have been cases that were not receptive but did not destroy our friendship. It was just the point where they understood it was something I desired very much for a more involved companionship. Again, I am not aware of any negative fallout from this. Believing some (or a lot) of the agendas of those on the internet is hard. Not a problem if I wanted to just be a sugar daddy and have sex toy boys. There is much more I want out of it and finding the right type of guy is probably going to be difficult. I actually thought finding a gay website such as GS where maybe there are more mature and open minded individuals there would be a chance of discovering someone to explore my preferences. CAMFER doesn't seem to think so but I will be patient for a while longer. It seems like many read what is being said but not many comment. Thanks for yours and all the best to you in your pursuit of happiness.
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