Here's a big family mess from outer space

[Virge]

I have this category of events I call purple cows. Let me explain...

• If you open your front door and it comes off the hinges you can figure out what to do in 10 seconds.
  
• If you see someone fall down on the sidewalk and hear a snap... you know what to do.
  
• If your toilet starts overflowing you know what to do.
  

But is you're driving along listening to your favorite music and a purple cow falls out of the sky and lands on the hood of your car.... what do you do?

Here's my purple cow at the moment. Yesterday at the wedding very gossipy gay guy I avoid most the time (because he runs his mouth so much) asked if I'd heard from my cousin... he didn't have to mention a name even though I have close to 20 cousins. There's not but one of my cousins a gossipy gay guy would be interested in. That cousin would be a real good looking 22 year old body builder who made a pretty big name for himself.

I told him I haven't talked to him in a while... and he said.."oh.. so you don't know."
And of course I had to ask what he was talking about.... He said my cousin and his GF since age 15 broke up when she found out he was running a private fan club online and giving gay sex shows...

I jumped in and said NO DAMNED WAY. and then the purple cow came out of the sky.

Mister Gossip pulled out his phone and went right to screen shots he'd taken (he was a member of the pvt fan club.) Since then my cousin has disappeared, quit a VERY good job and no one knows where he is... if my parents had heard anything I'm sure they'd have told me. I can only imagine what how his family reacted. I saw it all myself -- my cousin with a big purple dildo up his butt ----- and enough fingers to do a muppet movie. In his livingroom floor ( I recognized it from videos that were on his FB page )... On his bed.. acting ready to get it doggy style...... Jeeeeeeeeeeeez.

So this morning I got up and started tracking him online. His personal FB page is gone. So is his GF's His youtube channel is gone. All of his personal pictures seem to be disappeared. I'm not sure how to bring it up to my parents or if I even should. He's no longer affiliated with the online training site he was with. I feel a need to find him and do anything I can to help. I'm thinking he might have fallen in with some of the body builders who do things like that to make fast cash...

Sorry, I'm not going to name names on this thread but some of you may remember I've mentioned him a time or two. I think I even posted a pic of him once.

Not sure what to do.

[MikeW]

....Not sure what to do.

WOW! Gee, [MENTION=21084]Virge[/MENTION], I can certainly understand your concern and wanting to reach out to him as a support if he needs. Not sure I have any concrete suggestion but I'm wondering, since he IS family, are you saying none of them know where he is of how to reach him?? I'd find that even more starting!

I guess the first thing I'd do is let all his immediately family know that you would like to be a support to him if he needs that just in case some of them get the chance to relay that message. Beyond that, short of hiring a PI to track him down... not quite sure what to suggest. [My second partner pulled a disappearing act on me and I found out that 1) there is no law against it; 2) it takes immediate family to file a missing person's report (I knew his children and they did this which is how we eventually found him); and finally if someone doesn't WANT to be found, they're not likely to be open to communication let alone support.]

I'm not going to suggest you stop looking for him but I do suggest you keep in mind that whatever is going on in him isn't necessarily something you can "fix" or even help him with. Maybe, sure, but as you well know, you can't help anyone who doesn't want that help... whatever lead to this situation is something he's dealing with the only way he knows how at the moment.

I'll also hazard a guess that he *will* at some point show up again and, perhaps, at that point you'll be able to reach out to him in some way. I certainly understand your concerns given the amount of juicing that goes on in the BB world and all the sticky threads of illicit activity one can get entangled in.

I wish you (and him) the best!

ETA.. and so far as your parents... why wouldn't you discuss this with them? I don't understand that hesitation. They're likely to find out at some point (I assume, given my experience of families).

[Camfer]

Sounds like your cousin is going through a hard time and you might be a good sounding board for him. If you can get a hold of his GF and she knows who is doctor is, you might be able to get a message to your cousin through his doctor. Bodybuilders get what drugs they can through their doctors, the rest on the black market. So if his doc is prescribing him anything, they will be in touch at some point.

The reality is that the drugs needed to get far in bodybuilding are very expensive. To pay for all those pills, powders, and injectables, guys resort to escorting and porn. It's a sad scene that people want to look a certain way that is only achievable through shooting up steroids. On some level the GF should have taken some solace that he was doing solo stuff on video rather than doing escort. Or maybe he was doing that too.

[Virge]

My parents and Jay's came over for breakfast (along with TWELVE others this morning)... so there was no way to bring it up then... I did tell Mom I needed to talk to her about "cousin X".... so we've been texting back and forth as they and Jay's parents head to the Tetons in the RV.

We agreed on one thing. There's no way his parents or sister are the people to talk to about this... I got online in a SD news site, went to the Sports forum and asked about him like I'd gone to school with him. One response so far... He didn't quit his job with Fed Ex... he was fired for a package that 'disappeared' that he faked delivering to a... (insert drum roll)... a drug store.

Monday I can get with good buddies I still have here in county law and find out more. I'm going to find his butt and do what needs to be done. I wish I'd tried to be closer to him back years ago.

[Beaux]

So your cousin apparently has a new lucrative career....and you don't know what to do....
Congratulate him...?
~Beaux

[Virge]

It's not that simple. There's no money in what he's doing, at least not in any way you or most people would want a friend or relative to have to make money to support their lifestyle. Here's a short video explaining what goes on behind the scenes ...




Here's a longer more detailed explanation from a guy who was in it in a big way. This one fits everything I've put together that my cousin was doing when he disappeared. Doing private "shows" on cam. The way the money flows. etc.