07-16-2015, 07:15 PM
I was straight as far as I was concerned as of the morning of Sept 13th, 2012, so I am new to all of this: homosexuality, the feelings, the needs, desires, the culture, being hit on, all of it is new.
I had a relationship with a guy when I was in my teens. I didn't like him; not as a boyfriend or as a person. When I finally rid myself of him, which was not easy, I concluded I was not gay because I did not like men, i.e., him.
I encountered him again 12-13 yrs ago. He protested his undying love for me and then when he got close enough showed himself as the distasteful person I still detest, reinforcing the "not gay" policy.
Eight years ago I ended a relationship with a heroine addicted woman. I chose celibacy as a way to heal from that encounter. On my third year of celibate life, I gained custody of my daughter and extended my celibate life to protect my daughter. Prior to Sept 13, I was celibate over 8 yrs. The following is the random encounter that opened me up to my homosexual desires. Only recently have I struggled enough to accept that this is who I really am.
Because I have a policy of honestly and a strong integrity I am able to recognize this as fact but I am not completely coping well with the paradigm shift.
On the first of August, I was trolling Craig's List. I was looking for work when I got bored and started looking at the personal ads. I write for a hobby and reading all those horny ads gets me going. That was enough, you know.
I see an ad for a guy that wants a sweaty construction worker, which I was doing at the time. He doesn't care if I am sweaty or whatever, he just wants me to let him in, I blow my nut, he swallows it then leaves. He wanted a straight guy, hairy with some build on him. The ad said more, it was just like it was written for me.
So I say sure, come over. I down a bunch of beers fast and hop in the shower quick. He comes over and he's like 6' 3" 180 or so pounds. He’s got a familiar look that comforted me, made me at ease with him right away. He wore glasses, is good looking, a bit younger than me and a relaxed guy. Really easy going and all.
He just wants to help me blow my nut so he can swallow it, that's all, very polite. It was like I mail ordered a guy to do a job or something. So I lay on the couch, take off my shorts, stare off into the ceiling and he starts blowing me. I tell him if he wants to jerk off, go for it, and he does.
While he's sucking me, I ask him what's his deal. He's forty, married, two kids. I say, no, like how'd you get into guys? He says in college his roommate kept trying to get into his pants and eventually he gave in. They fucked each other silly for a long while, both still had girlfriend's, but fucked each other until the roommate graduated.
So now he starts asking if I want my ass rimmed. I am not into it but eventually I say, go for it. Before the attempt is made, I realize I am grossed out about him using his mouth on my ass, clean or not and I say so. He asked for some Vaseline and he starts fingering my ass. It's feeling weird but good.
Closing my eyes and drinking my beer I just relax and enjoy it, the whole time he's saying how tight I am. This goes on for a bit until suddenly I realize that it might not be his finger in my ass anymore. I ask him, is that your cock? He looks shocked as he says no, it's his finger, but in my head, I wanted him to say, do you want it to be my cock? And suddenly, when I think that, I blow my load. He sucks my cock and keeps sucking it just like I like when I am getting blown. Then he sits down, blows his load in a second and BAM, the end. The guy walks out saying, “Have a good day†and “Thanksâ€Â.
So next day I write him via email and I say, hey bro, up for it again? He's married, can’t get away. So its cool. A month plus goes by and I am busy the whole time. But I think about what happened now and again. I email him seeing if he's available when things slow down for me. Eventually he is free, so we get together, yesterday, Sept 13.
He comes in and I don't know why but I just fucking go for it the moment he walks in the door. He says he's been thinking of my ass all this time and I think how bad I want him to fuck me. I was surprised by my thoughts but I wanted to be turned on and that's what my mind was thinking. He knew how to slowly get in my ass with his finger, something I could never do solo without some pain. I was curious but that was all. Just fuel for the fire I said, and I went on with it.
Out of nowhere, I start kissing him, I think it was because I am really turned on. He's tall and unshaven, his beard was sharp and rough. I didn't care, I liked that too. It was like I knew I was kissing a real man.
I nearly drag him into my bedroom and I undress him immediately. I toss him in bed and climb on top of him. We briefly sucked on each other for a while. Eventually I lay by his side so I could turn to kiss him passionately, then stop, flip over and deep throat his cock. I did this for a while but knew I didn’t want us to cum this way. I was completely lost in the action and I knew what I wanted.
I climbed back on top of him and slowly I start grinding his cock into the crevasse of my ass. I tell him that I don't know what to do but I want him in me. He has me lay on my side, one leg up, one down. He starts working my ass with his finger then his cock. but his cock is smaller than mine. I keep saying, “My ass is too tight, it's too tight†and he keeps saying in a calm tone that it was okay and to relax, just relax. He goes real slow as he puts his fingers deep into me. He lays next to me but I didn’t like that he couldn’t get me easily. I moved my position and tried something I knew would work.
I did this ass up, face down thing I never did before myself, but did a thousand times to women. He gets his cock in me slowly and starts fucking me in gentle rhythms. At this point I am completely lost in the action. I am not even thinking about ANYTHING. It was uncomfortable and it was kind of foreign. It was like I needed to shit or was shitting on him but it felt so fucking good! So I say to him that I want to see his face.
We move around the bed and he takes my legs and puts them on his shoulders so I was completely dominated by him, I loved it. We start kissing like mad. I hold his face in my hands and feel his prickly beard. He starts putting his cock in me again, not that there was anything I could do to stop it. I am fucking going nuts. His glasses long removed, I take an up close look at his face for the very first time.
Here is the twisted part. When I finally open my eyes to look at him, he looks just like a younger version of my best friend of 35 years, Ed. I keep looking at him and he's got the same crystal blue eyes, strawberry blond hair, blond eyebrows and the same kind, gentle face as Ed. The more I look at him the more and more he looks like my best friend until I just have to close my eyes or I’ll start cumming. The weird part for me is I am not in the least freaked out about the way he looks. I knew he looked familiar when I first met him, everyone looks like someone. Now that I see the similarities, it was like I am getting off on it more now that I look at him. Out of all the strangers I meet the one guy that looks like my very best friend of 35 years! I am not closer to anyone in my entire life than Ed and here I am getting nailed by his slightly younger clone.
Eventually, the sex was too uncomfortable for me. Every now and again he is fucking me deep and hard! I could see the power gaining in his eyes and I wanted him to fuck me as hard as he wanted it. I like it but I am not used to the feeling of it. I feel like I really needed to shit and it was driving me nuts because I thought I'd shit all over him if I didn’t cum first. I know that sounds gross but I didn't, it just felt that way.
I had to change position but I don't want to stop looking at him and kissing him. Eventually I get on top of his cock and start riding it, and it's fucking perfection! His cock was fucking me just perfectly because of the size of it and how rock hard he was. I came so hard it was scary. It was the longest orgasm I ever experienced. While I was getting fucked, it was like a climax but I didn't shoot, and it just kept rolling on and on as he fucked me. He nearly fucked me to climax several times and I never touch myself.
When I did cum it was like I was cumming from two dicks at once. My whole body exploded. I dropped down on the bed and started kissing him passionately and telling him how good it was, how perfect his cock was in me. I wanted to blow him and swallow his him but that was too gross. I regret not doing something now. In a moment with me kissing him and touching him all over, he finished. I wanted to have him cum in my ass so badly but I was too afraid. Now it's all I think about.
We laid there for a bit while we kissed. Later he said that once you get a taste for getting fucked, you go nuts. I was like, seriously? He kind of played it off like it was a joke or something. I gave him a towel and we cleaned up. We laid there for a few and after about ten or so minutes out the door he went. I still don't know his name.
Now all I can do is fantasize about it. The kissing as I stare into his eyes and hold his face while he cums in my ass. I don’t even care if I cum. When I masturbate and think about ANYBODY fucking me. I can’t stop jerking off. But it’s not the same feeling. Even when I cum I know it’s so much better if I was getting nailed.
But I am not ... was not I guess … gay or found men seriously attractive. In public, I look at women and I'd imagine what they'd look like naked and climaxing off my cock. I had to go to the school that night for a parent teacher conference and I started seeing men differently. I started looking at certain men all the sudden. I kept thinking what some of those guys would look like naked and fucking me, It’s all I could think about.
Am I going crazy? Can you just go from straight to gay in one session?
It’s two days later now. Ken, my best friend for the past few months, and I talked last night about it for hours. He didn’t leave until after 2am just to keep me sane. He’s a great friend. He helped me button myself back up. But when or if Ed’s Clone comes back, I know that I am powerless to prevent myself form doing it again.
I had a relationship with a guy when I was in my teens. I didn't like him; not as a boyfriend or as a person. When I finally rid myself of him, which was not easy, I concluded I was not gay because I did not like men, i.e., him.
I encountered him again 12-13 yrs ago. He protested his undying love for me and then when he got close enough showed himself as the distasteful person I still detest, reinforcing the "not gay" policy.
Eight years ago I ended a relationship with a heroine addicted woman. I chose celibacy as a way to heal from that encounter. On my third year of celibate life, I gained custody of my daughter and extended my celibate life to protect my daughter. Prior to Sept 13, I was celibate over 8 yrs. The following is the random encounter that opened me up to my homosexual desires. Only recently have I struggled enough to accept that this is who I really am.
Because I have a policy of honestly and a strong integrity I am able to recognize this as fact but I am not completely coping well with the paradigm shift.
On the first of August, I was trolling Craig's List. I was looking for work when I got bored and started looking at the personal ads. I write for a hobby and reading all those horny ads gets me going. That was enough, you know.
I see an ad for a guy that wants a sweaty construction worker, which I was doing at the time. He doesn't care if I am sweaty or whatever, he just wants me to let him in, I blow my nut, he swallows it then leaves. He wanted a straight guy, hairy with some build on him. The ad said more, it was just like it was written for me.
So I say sure, come over. I down a bunch of beers fast and hop in the shower quick. He comes over and he's like 6' 3" 180 or so pounds. He’s got a familiar look that comforted me, made me at ease with him right away. He wore glasses, is good looking, a bit younger than me and a relaxed guy. Really easy going and all.
He just wants to help me blow my nut so he can swallow it, that's all, very polite. It was like I mail ordered a guy to do a job or something. So I lay on the couch, take off my shorts, stare off into the ceiling and he starts blowing me. I tell him if he wants to jerk off, go for it, and he does.
While he's sucking me, I ask him what's his deal. He's forty, married, two kids. I say, no, like how'd you get into guys? He says in college his roommate kept trying to get into his pants and eventually he gave in. They fucked each other silly for a long while, both still had girlfriend's, but fucked each other until the roommate graduated.
So now he starts asking if I want my ass rimmed. I am not into it but eventually I say, go for it. Before the attempt is made, I realize I am grossed out about him using his mouth on my ass, clean or not and I say so. He asked for some Vaseline and he starts fingering my ass. It's feeling weird but good.
Closing my eyes and drinking my beer I just relax and enjoy it, the whole time he's saying how tight I am. This goes on for a bit until suddenly I realize that it might not be his finger in my ass anymore. I ask him, is that your cock? He looks shocked as he says no, it's his finger, but in my head, I wanted him to say, do you want it to be my cock? And suddenly, when I think that, I blow my load. He sucks my cock and keeps sucking it just like I like when I am getting blown. Then he sits down, blows his load in a second and BAM, the end. The guy walks out saying, “Have a good day†and “Thanksâ€Â.
So next day I write him via email and I say, hey bro, up for it again? He's married, can’t get away. So its cool. A month plus goes by and I am busy the whole time. But I think about what happened now and again. I email him seeing if he's available when things slow down for me. Eventually he is free, so we get together, yesterday, Sept 13.
He comes in and I don't know why but I just fucking go for it the moment he walks in the door. He says he's been thinking of my ass all this time and I think how bad I want him to fuck me. I was surprised by my thoughts but I wanted to be turned on and that's what my mind was thinking. He knew how to slowly get in my ass with his finger, something I could never do solo without some pain. I was curious but that was all. Just fuel for the fire I said, and I went on with it.
Out of nowhere, I start kissing him, I think it was because I am really turned on. He's tall and unshaven, his beard was sharp and rough. I didn't care, I liked that too. It was like I knew I was kissing a real man.
I nearly drag him into my bedroom and I undress him immediately. I toss him in bed and climb on top of him. We briefly sucked on each other for a while. Eventually I lay by his side so I could turn to kiss him passionately, then stop, flip over and deep throat his cock. I did this for a while but knew I didn’t want us to cum this way. I was completely lost in the action and I knew what I wanted.
I climbed back on top of him and slowly I start grinding his cock into the crevasse of my ass. I tell him that I don't know what to do but I want him in me. He has me lay on my side, one leg up, one down. He starts working my ass with his finger then his cock. but his cock is smaller than mine. I keep saying, “My ass is too tight, it's too tight†and he keeps saying in a calm tone that it was okay and to relax, just relax. He goes real slow as he puts his fingers deep into me. He lays next to me but I didn’t like that he couldn’t get me easily. I moved my position and tried something I knew would work.
I did this ass up, face down thing I never did before myself, but did a thousand times to women. He gets his cock in me slowly and starts fucking me in gentle rhythms. At this point I am completely lost in the action. I am not even thinking about ANYTHING. It was uncomfortable and it was kind of foreign. It was like I needed to shit or was shitting on him but it felt so fucking good! So I say to him that I want to see his face.
We move around the bed and he takes my legs and puts them on his shoulders so I was completely dominated by him, I loved it. We start kissing like mad. I hold his face in my hands and feel his prickly beard. He starts putting his cock in me again, not that there was anything I could do to stop it. I am fucking going nuts. His glasses long removed, I take an up close look at his face for the very first time.
Here is the twisted part. When I finally open my eyes to look at him, he looks just like a younger version of my best friend of 35 years, Ed. I keep looking at him and he's got the same crystal blue eyes, strawberry blond hair, blond eyebrows and the same kind, gentle face as Ed. The more I look at him the more and more he looks like my best friend until I just have to close my eyes or I’ll start cumming. The weird part for me is I am not in the least freaked out about the way he looks. I knew he looked familiar when I first met him, everyone looks like someone. Now that I see the similarities, it was like I am getting off on it more now that I look at him. Out of all the strangers I meet the one guy that looks like my very best friend of 35 years! I am not closer to anyone in my entire life than Ed and here I am getting nailed by his slightly younger clone.
Eventually, the sex was too uncomfortable for me. Every now and again he is fucking me deep and hard! I could see the power gaining in his eyes and I wanted him to fuck me as hard as he wanted it. I like it but I am not used to the feeling of it. I feel like I really needed to shit and it was driving me nuts because I thought I'd shit all over him if I didn’t cum first. I know that sounds gross but I didn't, it just felt that way.
I had to change position but I don't want to stop looking at him and kissing him. Eventually I get on top of his cock and start riding it, and it's fucking perfection! His cock was fucking me just perfectly because of the size of it and how rock hard he was. I came so hard it was scary. It was the longest orgasm I ever experienced. While I was getting fucked, it was like a climax but I didn't shoot, and it just kept rolling on and on as he fucked me. He nearly fucked me to climax several times and I never touch myself.
When I did cum it was like I was cumming from two dicks at once. My whole body exploded. I dropped down on the bed and started kissing him passionately and telling him how good it was, how perfect his cock was in me. I wanted to blow him and swallow his him but that was too gross. I regret not doing something now. In a moment with me kissing him and touching him all over, he finished. I wanted to have him cum in my ass so badly but I was too afraid. Now it's all I think about.
We laid there for a bit while we kissed. Later he said that once you get a taste for getting fucked, you go nuts. I was like, seriously? He kind of played it off like it was a joke or something. I gave him a towel and we cleaned up. We laid there for a few and after about ten or so minutes out the door he went. I still don't know his name.
Now all I can do is fantasize about it. The kissing as I stare into his eyes and hold his face while he cums in my ass. I don’t even care if I cum. When I masturbate and think about ANYBODY fucking me. I can’t stop jerking off. But it’s not the same feeling. Even when I cum I know it’s so much better if I was getting nailed.
But I am not ... was not I guess … gay or found men seriously attractive. In public, I look at women and I'd imagine what they'd look like naked and climaxing off my cock. I had to go to the school that night for a parent teacher conference and I started seeing men differently. I started looking at certain men all the sudden. I kept thinking what some of those guys would look like naked and fucking me, It’s all I could think about.
Am I going crazy? Can you just go from straight to gay in one session?
It’s two days later now. Ken, my best friend for the past few months, and I talked last night about it for hours. He didn’t leave until after 2am just to keep me sane. He’s a great friend. He helped me button myself back up. But when or if Ed’s Clone comes back, I know that I am powerless to prevent myself form doing it again.
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
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But I *will* read it when I get home. Sounds fascinating!
