I have read some great posts here, but I am generally going to abandon this thread. I think what was more important to me was to blow off steam. I did that but it seems to have turned into something more than I'm willing to lay out there. I see I've crossed my own boundaries and will leave it at that.
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We play and dance like friends or brothers too, but that doesn't include hitting or shoving that could hurt us or our house. I suppose the issue with being built like a wrecking ball is that you wreck things when you start moving around.
How long have you been together and how were his previous relationships?
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I bet you half the people who've already commented are thinking " ooooo Virge is going to tear up a new butt hole on this."
Hmmmm No... I'm sitting here boned up at what me and my guy call ante-foreplay. JEEEEEEZ... the dominant role struggles - the challenges.... okay okay... i finally figured it out but don't him know... He does it to push my alllllllllllll my rapist buttons.....
I'm going to play dumb as long as he thinks he thinks he's playing me. Dynamic tension in a relationship is hard core intense and large adult size fun.
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I'm not sure what I can add to this conversation, but I'll give it a shot.
As for the whole "gender roles" in a relationship, that depends on how you're raised. My parents (who just celebrated 50th wedding anniversary) raised us without that crap. I've watch my mom help my dad with home repair and construction, and watched my dad help mom with housework, laundry and gardening.
Alpha males......oh yes, they exist.
You say your partner is physically violent with you, but that you're an 'asshole', so I wonder if you are egging him on because it's a turn on, or if he's really truly dangerous, and you are rationalizing his behavior by taking blame for it, as victims often do.
If (in the end) this type of relationship is what works for you, and you are comfortable that your life is not in danger, then that's what really matters.
As for whether or not someone could take you down.......all I can say is if this relationship was you and I, with me in your place, I can tell you I wouldn't be able to take you down. But the first time you put your hands on me in anger would be the last time you put your hands on me that way, I can promise you that.
<<< It's mine!
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