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Vanishing discussion partners
#1
[Rant enabled]
Don't you just hate it when you have an online conversation going on with someone and they just stop participating?? Sometimes they will even ask a question, and you give an answer expecting some sort of response, but it never comes.

Of course on dating apps, usually it's a matter of the person sees something that turns them off and they just leave you hanging. But I also see it happening on forums like this.


I understand that everyone is busy, and some people don't check messages on a regular basis. However, when you see them interacting with other people but neglecting the conversation you were having with them, it's just plain rude.

I am a human being, and if I take some time to answer your question, I deserve at least an acknowledgement.

I'm not a big fan of text message conversations anyway, because it is so impersonal. But if I am forced to use that method to communicate with people in today's society, people can at the very least be polite.

I blame the parents, regardless of how old the person is.

[ end of rant]
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#2
Yes! Definitely hate that. But, sometimes people are busy and just need time to respond, especially if the topic requires some thought and time to respond to properly. I know I have something to get back to but I can't give it the time I need until after the weekend.
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#3
TBH I never have thought about it until now. I don't worry too much about things like that.
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#4
You could try, in your post, putting @and their name so that they get a notification that they have been mentioned. I know for me, here, I tend not to really look back on a thread unless either I get a thanks or a mention that lets me know my attention is needed.

Or if it remains top of the list so it's obvious it's getting attention and new posts.
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#5
Gideon Wrote:You could try, in your post, putting @and their name so that they get a notification that they have been mentioned. I know for me, here, I tend not to really look back on a thread unless either I get a thanks or a mention that lets me know my attention is needed.

Or if it remains top of the list so it's obvious it's getting attention and new posts.
Yeah, I'm the same way. My awareness of what goes on in different threads is rather random. Quoting someone or putting an @ symbol directly in front of their member name ( [MENTION=22277]JCasey[/MENTION] hahaha) insures the system notifies them of a response (unless they turn this feature off in their preferences).

But, then again, sometimes people loose interest in the conversation or just move on with their lives into something else. *shrug*
.
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#6
JCasey Wrote:Sometimes they will even ask a question, and you give an answer expecting some sort of response, but it never comes.

I understand that everyone is busy, and some people don't check messages on a regular basis. However, when you see them interacting with other people but neglecting the conversation you were having with them, it's just plain rude.

it has little to do with being busy. i have no idea how to interact in an online chat. i don't know how to adequately express myself. i've done this type of thing very little in my life and i won't start advocating for it anytime in this lifetime. it's not an intuitive way to communicate with another person and it never will be. it's abstract all the way. human beings were not made to communicate in this manner.

person to person, or if that's not possible, phone calls, maybe a video call. but text chat --- forget about it.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
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#7
I consider that an inherent hazard of online communication. Things can happen either related to the conversation (he gets offended, he gets bored) or not (he gets distracted, he loses his account), and people can just vanish. Much less likely in the real world. It's just a trade-off for the ease of online communication.

On another gay site, for reasons that aren't entirely clear, I'd occasionally have exchanges with random guys. It was always somebody I never had had any exchange at all with. Out of the blue, they'd say something....well, I was going to be suggestive, but it was more like "I need some of that gargoyle cock." The first time I got one, I wasn't really sure how to respond. But after mulling it over, I sort of responded in kind. "Then let me push you up against the castle wall and see what you're packing." Then we'd get into a hot-and-heavy fantasy scenario...which would suddenly end on their end. I assume with an orgasm. Smile Which was a bit rude on their end, but still understandable.

The weird thing is that it happened several times, with several different posters - all of whom I didn't know. Not like it was an everyday occurrence or anything, but it was an enjoyable diversion when it did. Smile

Lex
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#8
I think people tend to be much ruder online than they would be face to face. Many people have no respect for people online, as if they don't really exist. I don't believe it will change, so you will have to change and stop letting it bother you.

As for posts in the forums, I never expect anyone to respond to me, so it's not a big deal.
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#9
Adding to what [MENTION=20938]Gideon[/MENTION] said. Sometimes? I "flake the fuck out" and totally lose track of what I was doing. Usually, if I'm really focused on something, and life introduces a moment of chaos into that situation? Whatever I was focused on ends up lost to my awareness for a bit (or even permanently). I then need someone to smack a "HEY, pay attention to me" in my face to get me back on track.

Gideon is very good at the "HEY, pay attention to me DAMNIT".
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#10
Well it works...most of the time

*Chuckles*
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