08-06-2015, 06:23 PM
I'm asking for insight into people who do this on a regular basis, and specifically to lying about wanting to be in a relationship just to get laid. This can include someone who is in a committed relationship who seduces others with lies of being after a real relationship, but does not include serial monogamists, patronizing prostitutes, what are unusual circumstances (such as an ex coming back and seducing you into cheating or seeking solace in someone else after say 10 years of being in a relationship after the passion has died down and you've grown distant from your partner), nor simply getting laid in a way that's cheating to a partner but not deceiving those hooked up with (he may not mention he's in a relationship but doesn't deceive anyone else that he's looking for a "special someone" to be in a relationship with, it's just sex and then gone and both sides know it so that it's essentially just "live action porn" to both the cheater doing it and those hooked up with--I'm assuming that this type of cheating is essentially a variant of porn addiction).
Lying about job, physical features, health, and the like also don't count for this. Nor am I asking about cheating in general, but rather the people who regularly engage in deceiving people about wanting a relationship when one just wants to get laid.
This baffles me as if all one wants is sex then that lifestyle should be easy to live up to without needing to play with people's heads (and hearts) to get it. And yet going by threads I've seen on GS over the years (in addition to other sources) it seems that this is distressingly common. Is there pleasure in the trickery? The allure of forbidden fruit, wanting what you can't have (that is if you're honest then it will be denied to you and that vexes you so)? Is it that such a player has "gotta screw them all (at least if they're cute/fine)" and that inevitably means he has to deceive some? Getting into competition with other players and not wanting to be seen as "less a man" than others in the game by having too low a score/conquests? Or could it be that such deception adds to drama and it's the drama (and/or risk taking) that's desired as much as the sex? Could it even be the general culture? Is it that such a deceiver actually feels self-conscious about just wanting sex so is actually more concerned with being perceived as "shallow" rather than as a liar and heart breaker? :confused:
I expect that the reasons vary by the individual but I'd like to hear about insights into it from personal experience, whether experienced with such people and/or being one or having had been one when younger. (Talking about straight men and also female players doing this is also okay though I'm mainly interested on why people would do this when I get the impression their life would be easier if they simply were honest about wanting sex and not a relationship.) And I genuinely want to understand this.
Note that anonymous replies are available here (if you have 50 posts already) and I'd accept PM which I'd keep confidential (though I might one day share insights gained from them I'd never out the person discussed about or who brought it up or describe the specific details shared, that would always be anonymous).
Lying about job, physical features, health, and the like also don't count for this. Nor am I asking about cheating in general, but rather the people who regularly engage in deceiving people about wanting a relationship when one just wants to get laid.
This baffles me as if all one wants is sex then that lifestyle should be easy to live up to without needing to play with people's heads (and hearts) to get it. And yet going by threads I've seen on GS over the years (in addition to other sources) it seems that this is distressingly common. Is there pleasure in the trickery? The allure of forbidden fruit, wanting what you can't have (that is if you're honest then it will be denied to you and that vexes you so)? Is it that such a player has "gotta screw them all (at least if they're cute/fine)" and that inevitably means he has to deceive some? Getting into competition with other players and not wanting to be seen as "less a man" than others in the game by having too low a score/conquests? Or could it be that such deception adds to drama and it's the drama (and/or risk taking) that's desired as much as the sex? Could it even be the general culture? Is it that such a deceiver actually feels self-conscious about just wanting sex so is actually more concerned with being perceived as "shallow" rather than as a liar and heart breaker? :confused:
I expect that the reasons vary by the individual but I'd like to hear about insights into it from personal experience, whether experienced with such people and/or being one or having had been one when younger. (Talking about straight men and also female players doing this is also okay though I'm mainly interested on why people would do this when I get the impression their life would be easier if they simply were honest about wanting sex and not a relationship.) And I genuinely want to understand this.
Note that anonymous replies are available here (if you have 50 posts already) and I'd accept PM which I'd keep confidential (though I might one day share insights gained from them I'd never out the person discussed about or who brought it up or describe the specific details shared, that would always be anonymous).
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
Aries
