"Straight Acting"

[VirgoMasquerade]

I dont know what you're idea of a gay male is but i believe you are in for a reality check. Many people here dont care if your trade or fem but if you come off like a dick then... Good luck here. I think you should educate yourself on the differences of someones sexuaulity and personality

[s13ep]

It doesn't bother me what you think!

I do this for the benefit of others as well as myself.

You're the one being a dick with "I DUNNO WAT UR SAY" comments. Another wat, I imagine. I'm the dick... now... right? No, I'm replying to your stupidity.

[Cuddly]

I love labels. I'm a man of science, they are a vital to me.

But dude, you're barking in the wrong woods. Nobody here gives a shit about your hiptwirls or lack thereof. We're not that shallow. Furthermore, we're not here seeking hookups or relationships.

As for straight acting people running the world, there's a curious correlation between women's rights and our (as a species) advancement in... everything.
But that's a mute point, women often act straight.

[subdivisions]

Barack Obama is a straight guy; if it wasn't for straight-acting guys governing the sexuality system, gay people wouldn't be as free as they are today. It's the 'straight-acting' gays that provide the courage that keeps gays from the childish reputation some desperately seek. You wouldn't have any intelligent discourse dressed as and speaking like a woman; you need that man in the suit.

A couple of things here.

1. I know this was figurative speaking, but... "man in the suit". I have a friend who is straight and very masculine, works in construction, works on cars, likes sports, whatever. But he hates suits and would never wear one. His jobs didn't require it. How is wearing a suit considered "masculine"? Women wear suits too sometimes, the same that men wear. And no, they aren't even just butch lesbians. I've seen straight women wear them too. And tons of feminine gay men wear suits too.

2. So someone dressing and speaking like a woman is unintelligent? So, by this logic, women are unintelligent? Is that what you're saying?

3. So being feminine is childish? So women are childish too, then. Women can't ever be mature or intelligent. I see here.

You seem to think that any guy with femininity is the same as some others you've witnessed. And that's not the case at all.

It's fine if you don't want to date or hang around feminine guys. That's fine. I usually don't date any guy too feminine, and don't have friends who are.

But now you're just basically insulting them for being themselves. And you indirectly insulted women too.

[Cobalt]

YAAAAS BETCH I HEAR U! Let's ditch these queenies, they b makin us all look bad hunn. I'll check in with u l8r booboo; I'm having a bitchin' hair day and I'm gunna go hit the strip and show off my style. Straight acting gays on point hun! Represent!

[Emiliano]

If you identify with the term straight acting over masculine behavior, then go for it. You use the words for yourself that you prefer to use, and don't worry what other people think about it. I think we all should have the ability to self identify.

But I dont feel its necessary to put different traits and behaviors against eachother like one is better or more vital than the other. I dont think we should be seeking one ideal of what a man is, gay or straight. Theres nothing exciting or interesting in everyone trying to emulate one thing.

Its more important to be comfortable in who you are and try not to worry so much about how other people act. And if you're concerned about being associated with certain traits because of how other gay people act, i mean welcome to the world of being stereotyped. Lots of people face that, and its frustrating. But we only have so much control over how other people are going to perceive us before they know us. If you want to separate yourself from those stereotypes, a more productive way is to go out and model the behavior you want to be associated with and help to show other people that not all gay men have the same traits as what is most commonly associated with "acting gay".

We should strive to broaden our definitions and representations, not limit them.

[jimcrackcorn]

Can we be "straight-acting" here or is it frowned upon?

I prefer no word-association with femininity of my gender too, so I'd prefer not to be part of the circle via the masculine and feminine enmity.

I rarely even call myself "gay" or talk about gay stuff to my friends, I keep it private or relationship based. it's good that you exist somewhere, but because most of the time masculinity is needed, for we cannot be childish to survive as a population, I'm honest. My attitude is different, I'm a different spec that needs to be included in the system...

I'm fluent as a character and not dazed, so I act as a normal person would, masculine-gendered, and masculine-feminine minded- not one or the other.

I think I get what your saying...

You live in a masculine environment where men are expected to act as such. If you acted feminine - people would not respect you and would treat you like an outcast.

This has a lot to do with where you live & work. In small working class communities, men who act feminine will stand out like a sore thumb,,,, even straight men who act feminine stand out and are questioned about their sexuality.

There were some native Indian tribes in the Americas that had a name for men who were masculine & feminine, they were called Two Spirits. They were not only warriors, but also nurturers who sometimes became the tribes spiritual leaders/medicine men.

There are some men (straight & gay) who naturally act feminine. This is not a trait that they learned, it comes to them naturally. We have to be mindful not to ostracize or condemn them for the way they act because it is who they really are,,, they are not performing, and they are not trying to be something they aren't.......

And then,,, there are some gay guys who will role-play at being Queenie, camping-it-up,,, as we used to call it. They usually do this when they are around other gay friends in a safe environment. Nowadays,, you can see this happening at the larger gay pride parades where the media zooms in on them to display on the local news. The more outrageous the behavior,, the more attention they get (smile)... It's all done in fun, so I'm good with it.

On a personal note,,, when I was young,,, I would sometimes cringe a little when some of my more flamboyant gay friends would show to much femininity in public,,, but I accepted them for who they were and carried on. If it wasn't for some fun loving feminine guys who I was hanging out with on one particular day,, I wouldn't have been introduced to my husband who I've been with for 40 years now.

So my advise is to never pick your friends based on how masculine they are - you might miss a golden opportunity. And,,, don't be afraid to let your hair down once in a while and Camp-It-Up just for fun. Let the feminine side have some fun too.

Respectfully,
Jim

[TwisttheLeaf]

Can we be "straight-acting" here or is it frowned upon?

I guess this would depend on what you consider to be "straight acting". If it means can you walk around acting like a dick to everyone and calling people names, insulting everyone, etc? Then the answer is no. Just like it's no in real life off the computer, where acting in such a way to other people is a sure way of getting someone boot shoved up your ass or their fist plowed into your face for the disrespect.

There's very few who "camp it up" here on this forum. But we do treat each other with respect. If you can't do that, this probably isn't the place for you.

[Gideon]

Okay to be perfectly honest here? I'm lost as hell

*Chuckles*

I don't really see being myself is "straight acting" it's just...me. It's not me -acting- like a straight guy afterall. It's just the natural essence of me.

So does this mean that if you're gay you're supposed to be flamboyant and talk with a lisp? Hell there are plenty of straight men who are flamboyant and talk with a lisp, does that mean they're "gay acting"?

So yeah, even though Twist says I'm a straight acting gay guy, I'm just me...so I don't get it.

"Macho", dickish behavior isn't, in my opinion, based on sexual inclination, it's just being a dick.

[East]

About the straight acting thing...

One of my friends and customers..same age as me..known him since before I was 21...I guess we were maybe 38 at the time...we would sometimes go to clubs and lounge around in each other's arms if we got fucked up...

...and he pulled me over to him one night and told me he couldn't put his finger on it....but for some reason..he has never believed I am gay.

UHHHHHHH....DUDE...he saw me with tons of guys..knew all my lovers...and even though he was a bigger slut than I was (definitely in the over 1000 men club)...he had an idea that I was straight....he didn't think I "acted gay"....

I was kinda insulted. It was because of him I decided to come to a conclusion...I really like thinking for myself anyway....

IF you like men.and you are gay...you are "gay acting"..simply because you are gay...and as a gay man...anything you do is "gay acting"..BECAUSE you are gay....

...and just like straight people who all are "straight acting"...BECAUSE they are straight...or Bisexuals who are "Bi Acting"..BECAUSE they are Bisexual....

Any of these sexual identities encompasses ALL the individuals within the group ...and all different types of behavior...

Our behaviors as gay/bi/straight run the gamut...as it should...