Virge Wrote:...
With that pitch who doesn't grab tight instead of sucking up to the "tell me your pain" approach.
What do you mean by "sucking up to" the "'tell me your pain' approach"?
In my experience (admittedly limited and not objective) what has the best chance of working in any therapeutic modality is ATTENTION. People need to be heard, seen, acknowledged, ... and not just superficially but deeply. So, in a way, any modality that focuses open and receptive attention on someone who is suffering, helps. I believe the "tell me your pain" approach has its uses. There's an even deeper level of that, the "re-experience your pain right now" approach, which, in my experience, goes even deeper and further toward healing emotional wounds through reintegration. That's not to say that such approaches are the ONLY ones that work. On the contrary, even with the same person, SOMETIMES it is best, as you seem to be suggesting, TO LEARN TO STAY IN THE PRESENT MOMENT. Or, as J seems to have done with you, to allow one to go under, to slide back into one's inner 'hell' and allow the reality that he/she WILL return of their own accord. I call it the "this too shall pass" approach.
But the fundamental point is, directing QUALITY attention toward a suffering subject seems to offer real help. "Quality attention" means undistracted attention. Attention not only of the mind (as in viewing the subject's words and actions through a pre-established intellectual or modality filter) but of the body and the heart; an opening that "allows" whatever is going on inside the subject to take its rightful place. To be seen and acknowledged, not avoided.
The therapist from whom I learned all this stuff (now deceased) was of the opinion that the human psyche has a natural tendency toward healing and balance, just as the body does. From this point of view, the "therapists" role is not to "heal" (impossible) but to create a space within which the natural healing of the subject can begin taking place. This "space" is the quality of attention brought to the exchange between the participants. Whether it is remembering and talking out of the past, re-experiencing the past in the present (quite different from talking), being stuck in the quagmire of contradictory thoughts and emotions, or learning to stay focused in the present -- thus separating one's immediate self from emotional wounds and memories -- all of this and more (such as role playing, dream work, gestalt and many other options) have their place.
Quote:Two weeks ago we found out the Washington DC VA is filing suits to ban him from volunteering to help veterans.
WHY? What is their justification for this action? Seems extreme to say the lest.
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