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Came here to share experience and maybe get advice
#11
Cobalt Wrote:Well, where to start.

I can give you a few pieces of advice. You can take them or leave them, it doesn't matter to me. Whether or not you want to take my advice doesn't concern me. I'm the other side of your equation (read: I'm a younger guy only attracted to much older men, my partner is two years older than you).

1) It's great you're embracing who you feel you really are (homosexual, or bisexual with a male preference...whatever it is you are identifying with). Being a massive camwhore or whore in general to "make up for lost time" isn't the best thing to be doing though. My partner came out later in life (in his 40s) and was a virgin all the way until then, he didn't go through a hoe stage. If being a hoe is what you legitimately want to do, great. Admit it to yourself and your partner(s). If you think racking up sex partners/cam partners on some sort of invisible tally sheet will make you happy: it won't. You'll more than likely end up being somebody a handful of years from now who will be sitting in a psychologist's office trying to think of all the partners you had, breaking down and balling after you realize you're past the number 50 mark. You more than likely don't want to be that person. Figure out what you want, what you really want. If you're going through a stage of being promiscuous, again, great. Admit that's where you are and admit that to any partner(s) you have. Advice: don't even think about a relationship right now. You're not ready for it and you're going to mess up your partner and you. Have fun with your new found sexuality but two things:
1) Protect yourself. Seriously. It isn't even just about you. Considering you're attracted to young men, think of them. Don't give them a disease they'll have to live much longer with than you would just because you wanted to be careless.
2) Use the head on your shoulders more than the one in your shorts. Think often about where you are with your sexuality and what you want. If you just want sex admit it to yourself and your partner(s), don't play games. If you want a relationship, make sure you're ready.

2) This 16 year old may be "legal" where he lives but here's the thing: just because he's legal doesn't mean it's a good idea. A 16 year old is still a boy. I'm not here to tell you what to be attracted to and what not to be attracted to. As far as I'm concerned, as long as it's legal there's nothing anyone can do about it. But this goes beyond legality. He's more or less a boy, a kid. He thinks he's ready for sex with a 57 year old man: I can tell you: he isn't. At his age I wanted sex with a 52 year old man. Had I actually gotten it I honestly think it would have fucked me up bad. Sex in itself is confusing enough for a kid in their teens, the massive age difference is just a gigantic wrench to further complicate things. The kid isn't ready for you, I don't care if he's legal or not. Back off from him and cut ties. If you care one iota about him in the least bit as a human being: back off from him and cut all ties. If he's really set on sex with a 50 year old, he'll find it. Let him go ahead and do it, he'll realize he made a mistake only after it's done with. Don't be his mistake.

3) The legal age is 18 in most cases to consent to sex but honestly, that's rarely ever good enough. If you want my advice, I would (ironically given my own relationship) say stay away from anyone under 30. Most guys in their 20s have no clue at all what they want out of life. Never mind sex, never mind a relationship. Some will but I can almost guarantee you, you won't meet them. Given the odds, you're highly unlikely to meet them. You might think they have their shit together. That 24 year old guy seems to really have his head on straight and all his ducks in a row. I can say about 95% of the time what you see on the surface and after a few months of knowing him, that guy's a train wreck underneath. He's got his whole life for the most part to figure out, you more than likely (given your age) aren't going to be part of it once he realizes what he really wants. Even if you just want sex, hooking up with a guy in his 20s, unless you can really just be an anonymous fuck buddy he'll never hear from or see again, will more than likely end up going sour. In short: save yourself from the drama and keep away from the 20 year olds. Your odds of having a good experience (again, unless it's totally anonymous) aren't very good. As for 16-21 year olds, avoid them like you would an area that's just been atomic bombed. Dangerous, dangerous, dangerous. For both parties.

All my above advice is just that: advice. It's taken from personal experience and the experiences of others. Take it or leave it, I think most of it was pretty common sense stuff to be honest. Others here might disagree with me and that's fine, my experiences are my own, they have theirs. You can choose to take some of my advice or call it all bullshit, whatever what you want to do is your choice. Above everything else: protect yourself and your partner(s). That doesn't just mean physically. Mentally and emotionally too.
Hi, Thanks for taking the time to write your long response to my post. I appreciate your insight very much. I have been so sexed up lately and needed straight talking to bring me to my senses. I now have to unravel this thing as best I can. The boy in question is very keen and we have been exchanging explicit pictures for some months and also planning our first meeting so I don't feel I can just delete him from my contacts without a word.
best wishes
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#12
I am a twenty two year old gay man with a penchant for older men and much temptation to whore about. That's ended badly for me so far, not that I regret my decisions, but I don't think many can bear the consequences of their actions without severe distress, especially at an age where maturity and forethought may not even be a twinkle in the eye. Do avoid haste when something grabs your attention in the back of your mind and says "no." Instinct exists for a reason. If you find yourself in a mode of regret endeavor to learn all you can from the situation. I have been rejected by "prospective suitors" before. Sure it stings the first time or so but I got over it, and there are some situations where one should be grateful to be rejected.
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#13
You have to meet him in a country where his age is above the age of consent?

Run away.

Regarding your sexual behavior, if all are above the age of consent, and everyone is safe, it's ok, but bear in mind that a man about to turn 60 going through adolescence is not attractive.
[Image: 51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg]  <<< It's mine!
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#14
Welcome! Smile
“Why is a raven like a writing-desk?”  [Image: 1f3a9.png]
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#15
Having been on the other end of things, I was 17, he was 47, I feel it's my duty to point out that 16-18 year olds know what they're doing, however hormonal and inexperienced they may be.

If you decide to meet up (I assume you travel to him), then it's completely consensual and based on the fact that you're here, asking for advice, you seem to be genuinly concerned and caring. He couldn't have been in better hands.
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#16
CellarDweller Wrote:...bear in mind that a man about to turn 60 going through adolescence is not attractive.

Everyone has to go through their dog days. That comes later to some people. It is better to explore life and identity late than not at all. I can only hope that the op doesn't find himself in a pronounced state of unhappiness after his choices. It takes experience to balance decisions. It takes mistakes and a mind open to learning from many sources. Despite first reactions I hope readers aren't too judgmental. This process of testing oneself can leave people vulnerable.
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