What are your insecurities, and how are you dealing with it?

[MFD000]

Insecurities are a part of being human. Even the most confident and attractive individuals have insecurities on some level. What's important is that we can identify them and deal with them so we can love for who we are. What are yours?

I'll start: I'm a little insecure about being Asian, especially in the gay community. I've met a lot of individuals who don't find Asians attractive whatsoever, and even deny friendship because I'm Asian. It's a punch in the face every time I come across a dating profile and it says at the bottom: "No Asians."

*sigh*

How I'm dealing with it: I've developed a very confident persona in public and I learned how to dress well, and I try to act as friendly as possible. I'm also trying to just ignore everyone that doesn't want Asians... if they don't want me, I don't want them, especially if they're willing to exclude someone totally just on their ethnicity.

What about you guys?

I would say there's an even bigger stigma about being black in the gay community, especially in America. I understand that people have preference - my catch 22 is I am seriously only physically attracted to white guys. As a black guy, even as tan as I am, it's brutal. Imagine hearing "you're my first black guy" almost every date you go on.

[Stevefs]

I'm fat. 180lbs while I'm 5'2. It's hurting my self-esteem. It sucks that I dont find myself slightly attractive at all.

I came back from a Muay Thai lesson. Yeah, I don't throw the strongest kicks or punches with the tiny hands I have. Yeah, I'm struggling with 5lbs weights. But each time I go, I come back with my shirt completely soaked in sweat. I come back tired but statisfied that atleast I'm doing something. I might not even lose weight or get a different body type, but hey, I'm doing the best I can.

Hey Kenny.

I know exactly how you are feeling. I was 231 lbs back in 2011 with a height of 5'7". I'm now 182 lbs. It took a LOT of work and the process was extremely slow, but it was all worth it. Ofc, I'm not where I want to be yet, but progress is progress.

Here's something though - even though the weight comes off, you'll still feel unattractive. It's just something that comes with getting to know your new body. If you're shedding the pounds off and you still feel the same, it's just your brain refusing to change, not your body.

I wish you the best of luck. Even though weight is hard to lose, it's the easiest to change compared to a lot of other things people are insecure about.

[starlight]

I hate to be the one to be positive lol but sometimes the insecurities we have in ourselves and the hatred for them is balanced out by as much power of acceptance and liking by others for them actual things. (Hope i make sense)

[SilverBullet]

I have insecurities with ma belly pudge :*(.
like right around my belly button it aggravates the **** outta me but if I loose weight I look anorexic because my body decides to target my face instead... : /

I think its a big deal because the more I think about it the more it bugs me and the more it bugs me the more I think about it...

And im dealing with it horribly
My ex and I have kinda been working things out a bit, he came over during my break and I wouldn't shower with him...
I think the answer is to lose about 15 pounds more than i want to lose, maintain that weight for a couple months, then, gain back to where I want.

[Insertnamehere]

I have insecurities with ma belly pudge :*(.
like right around my belly button it aggravates the **** outta me but if I loose weight I look anorexic because my body decides to target my face instead... : /

I think its a big deal because the more I think about it the more it bugs me and the more it bugs me the more I think about it...

And im dealing with it horribly
My ex and I have kinda been working things out a bit, he came over during my break and I wouldn't shower with him...
I think the answer is to lose about 15 pounds more than i want to lose, maintain that weight for a couple months, then, gain back to where I want.

You have to be building some muscle along with losing fat in order not to go all anorexic-looking.

Just a small input

*slowly fades away*

[JackTX]

Sorry. I'm too insecure to tell you about my insecurities. Nice try, though! :p

You have to be building some muscle along with losing fat in order not to go all anorexic-looking.

Just a small input

*slowly fades away*

Muscle is the way, even if you don't want to be all muscley. It burns fat and if you're on a caloric deficit, that is, burning more than you eat in a day, you'll mostly be converting fat to lean muscle, not increasing in size. You can get some cheapy dumbbells and do an awful lot at home.

[starlight]

Working out gave me a more proportioned back so now i dont look like a twig but still my skin and my belly are not nice and i wonder who would want me with them.

[azulai]

Physically my nose has always been a point of insecurity for me. I've always felt like it was a bit too prominent. I've become more confident in my appearance as I've gotten older but I still am very shy about having my picture taken and overly critical of pictures of myself.

My other insecurity is succeeding in my future. I left a well paying job where I was respected and entered a program that's going to take me years to complete. I'm doing well and I am pursuing my dream/goals but there are moments when I doubt myself and wonder if it's all worth it. I'm a perfectionist and demanding on myself and it has taken it's toll on my relationship with my bf. I'm trying to reprioritize and set limits. I think finally being honest about my fears was the best way to deal with it all.

[trywait]

Sorry. I'm too insecure to tell you about my insecurities.

rotfl !

[Anocxu]

Physically my nose has always been a point of insecurity for me. I've always felt like it was a bit too prominent. I've become more confident in my appearance as I've gotten older but I still am very shy about having my picture taken and overly critical of pictures of myself.

My other insecurity is succeeding in my future. I left a well paying job where I was respected and entered a program that's going to take me years to complete. I'm doing well and I am pursuing my dream/goals but there are moments when I doubt myself and wonder if it's all worth it. I'm a perfectionist and demanding on myself and it has taken it's toll on my relationship with my bf. I'm trying to reprioritize and set limits. I think finally being honest about my fears was the best way to deal with it all.

Awesome post..
Risks Vs Rewards ..

You've opened my mind a great deal..
I've never thought about it too much..Taking risks will initially take a toll on your insecurities. .
I've always labeled it abruptly as just anxiety, ..

I learned an amazing lesson from this post.