What are your insecurities, and how are you dealing with it?

[Jay]

My physical.

I am told that I'm likable and can attract guys. Great to hear that but that what scares me the most. I mean I understood that no one is perfect but still, my stretch marks, surgery scars, injured leg and my face haunt me in a negative way once in a blue moon.

In my mind I don't know what guys are expecting from me and I don't know what to expect from guys (e.g. are they okay with stretch marks and surgery scars once I take off my shirt?).

As a result, I tend to step back before a guy can make his second move.

How am I dealing my problem?

Screw the problem by not thinking about it. I try my best to be happy and be proud of my stretch marks, surgery scars and basically, everything. I do my best to stay positive. I do admit that it can be a bit hard because I am so used to be criticized for all these 'imperfections'.

If a guy really sincere and wants to know me that bad, I'm willing to take the risk to show my 'vulnerabilities' to him.

P/S: I can't write properly today due to headache. Sorry if my post makes little sense or something like that today.

[MickTheMousie]

Unsecurities? well got a hell lot of those, could probably write a small book about all of them :/
Though my biggest ones.... i've been fighting some anorexia the last 5 months of 2015, though i think and hope that i'm gonna be ok this year but what i wanted to say was, that when i look in the mirror i see my big treesh lags, my spagettie arms my fat roll when i sit down, which i know is not even fat but loose skin, but i still just see it.. :/ but then when i look in a window, my legs look like tiny mouse legs, and i dont understand how they can even keep me walking for a single day, in school we had to show a video where i was in, and when i saw my legs in the video i nearly wanted to cry, they were sooo thin, then i also have Keratosis Pilaris on my arms, ok easy enough to cover up... but i also have a bit on my lower chin/jawline and that is really a big thing for me, cuz to me that and my few pimples are the only thing i see when i look at my face in the mirror, and ofc my huge nose, round head, invisible jawline, and so on, but i know none of that is true.... most of my girl friends tell me that i am one of the hottest guys on the school, but i just dont believe in them... then also my legs are pale as fuck, and since i watch porn (no tabu here) then i think i've gotten this idea, that either you are big and muscly or you are tiny and have 0! hair at all on your body, so body hair is a major concern for me, and since i am fairly hairy already, a bit of chest hair and the thingie with the belly button you know :/ then that really means a lot to me
Though the biggest unsecurity about my personality, it that if i get really happy, i feel like i'm acting awkward and that people thinks i am weird and also i CANT i simply CANT forget about things i've done, i can remember mistakes i made 10 years ago, and i am still ashamed of them, even know i was only 6! and i just cant get over it, and if anything reminds me a bit there of, i will mentally shut down, sometimes have an anxiety attack :/ so here you have it, a few of my biggest concerns :/

[InbetweenDreams]

Well I can confidently tell both of you [MENTION=21041]Jay[/MENTION] and [MENTION=23195]MickTheMousie[/MENTION] are very handsome guys...

Probably the best thing to understand and even I understand. All the guys who feel like the need to criticize how you look, don't matter. The person who is attracted to you will not only find you handsome, but will also like you for you...

I sort of have the same thing going on with my skin and I'm trying some stuff out and I think it's helping...but a bit early to tell...used to only have it on my arms but started showing on on my sides and other spots...

And Jay I'm telling you...you look fine. So what if your face is sunken, swollen, big nose, little nose, it is what makes you you and like it or not makes you handsome....Same with Mick...I can tell you that no guy (who's worthy of you) will notice or care about the pimples... You're very handsome and your girl friends are right...

As for me yes, I have a lot of insecurity issues, some of them are the same as you guys. I don't feel that I'm all that attractive... I mean I know I'm not the ugliest person but I don't think I have anything I should be showing off. I'm by what most gay guys might see as fat, out of shape, etc. I'd like to lose the weight and I'm making progress but like you Mick I'm worried about having loose skin or just being unsatisfied with how I look. I'm 29 right now, going to be 30 later on and I think the time frame to have a good looking body for me is running out...5 years from now, unless I do it now, just can't see not having some loose skin. It has been making me happy that my pants this morning were very loose fitting but I still feel fat.

I tend to worry about what someone think, like if I tell someone something sappy, which I have been doing somewhat, I'm worried it might come off the wrong way and makes them want to push away. That's been something I have constantly been worried about, trying to watch what I say, how I say it, when I say it... The problem is that it isn't really me, not that I shouldn't filter things I say but I shouldn't feel like I should spend so much time focusing on the exact language or thinking whether or not something is going to come off the wrong way... I mean we're talking just calling someone handsome or expressing how much I like someone, not even getting into what I'd like to do if given the oppurtunity... Not that I don't want to express it but there again I'm worried about "crossing the line" about things. I keep trying to see things from their perspective but that's next to impossible, not only in itself, but I just don't know how they see things, don't know enough about them to truly understand them. I mean I'm sitting here pondering about whether someone likes me enough in a way that would lead towards a relationship... When the truth is, qué será será.

Aside from the physical, a lot of my problems are internal.

[Cridders88]

FWIW [MENTION=23195]MickTheMousie[/MENTION], I think body hair looks good on slim men aswell as bigger men. If you've got chest hair and belly button hair then that is nothing to worry about, in mine and many other men's eyes, that's hot . Slim doesn't have to equal hairless at all I'm sorry to hear you are battling anorexia, I hope that you manage to overcome it and wish you the best of health man x

I have large scars on my chest, when I say large, I mean from armpit to armpit. This is a result of removal of excessive redundant skin in my chest area as a result of large weight loss. The scars were preferable to the saggy "boobs" that were left behind when I lost the weight. The scars remain very, very obvious, and I was pretty self conscious about them. Of the guys who I have been with, none of them have even as much as commented on them. [MENTION=21041]Jay[/MENTION] You'll find that most people aren't bothered about things like that, and if they are, they aren't worth it. I guess what I am saying is a lot of things we feel insecure about, others wouldn't even bat an eyelid at.

It's good to share your insecurities though . You'll find you're not alone at all in having them.

[Jay]

Ceez, Cridders88, Trywait and Insertmyname are not online, right? Axle2152, marry me! Marry me!

That's the best compliment in a whole that I can give to you.

Anyway Axle, I think you're being too modest. You're a very good looking guy. Temperature actually goes up here. Whew. But what attract me the most to guys like you, Ceez, Insertmyname, Cridders and Trywait is how you guys carry yourselves; wise, mature and considerate guys.

And don't worry about the size of your body. You look fit, healthy and good to me. Everyone has room for improvement even me. But as for now, I think you look great. Ok. hot too.

Edit: Cridders is online lol Whew, so many intelligent hot guys in GS....I need to log out.

[Jay]

Ceez, Cridders88, Trywait and Insertmyname are not online, right? Axle2152, marry me! Marry me!

That's the best compliment in a whole that I can give to you.

Anyway Axle, I think you're being too modest. You're a very good looking guy. Temperature actually goes up here. Whew. But what attract me the most to guys like you, Ceez, Insertmyname, Cridders and Trywait is how you guys carry yourselves; wise, mature and considerate guys.

And don't worry about the size of your body. You look fit, healthy and good to me. Everyone has room for improvement even me. But as for now, I think you look great. Ok. hot too.

Edit: Cridders is online lol Whew, so many intelligent hot guys in GS....I need to log out.

Um, I was on medicine last night. Apology for being a bit hyper yesterday.

But my thoughts on each one of you is real. My hats off to all of you gentlemen.

[Cridders88]

Um, I was on medicine last night. Apology for being a bit hyper yesterday.

But my thoughts on each one of you is real. My hats off to all of you gentlemen.

Lol, no need for apologies Jay, certainly put a smile on my face in what was otherwise a pretty glum day