Hey all, first time posting here and would appreciate any advice!
So today I had plans with my boyfriend to study together for midterms after he got off work. He called me when he got home and said he was tired, but ready to go to the library to study. I suggested that he take a nap and he just text me when he gets up so we can go. He quickly thanks me for waiting for him, and says he will call in 45 min-1 hour.
An hour and 45 min later he calls and says "what are you up to?". I say, "just reading on the couch waiting for you, how was your nap?"
He then tells me that 10 min after we decided to hold our plans so he could nap, our friend shows up and they talked for almost 2 hours.
I would have been fine with it if he had just text me or let me know! Holding off our plans because he was tired after work was one thing but leaving me hanging for almost an extra hour so he could talk, without even a heads up?
It just feels disrespectful to waste somebodies time like that, and personally it's one of the only things that makes me upset. Bailing on anybody is not okay, especially not your partner.
After I tell him why I'm upset he says he doesn't see what the big deal is.
Sorry to vent but it would make me feel better to hear some outside opinions
Thank You!
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Is this really something that you need help with, or are you just looking to vent...?
~Beaux
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Yeah, been there, done that, left the t-shirt for someone else...
Found it disrespectful as well, "we had plans, and you just forgot about me?"
So, you already talked to him about it? And he blew off your concerns. Doesn't sound that empathetic.
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Awful time management ..
and yes.. kinda disrespectful. .
If it's an import appointment or errand..
Next time how about doing your thing and then having him catch up to you?
If it's a date..
Pin him down on a time..
If that doesn't work..
Time to have a chat with him before he's late to yours and his wedding. .
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What your bf did was thoughtless. Forgive him. If he continues to do this or has a history of doing this, you might want to consider how much of your life you want to spend tolerating it.
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This reminds me of a time (15 years ago) when my husband and I went to Home Depot to get something; when we arrived at the store, my husband got out of the car immediately,,, while I spent a few extra seconds turning all the gizmos off in the car. When I finally got out,, he was nowhere in site. So I thought that was strange because only a few seconds had lapsed between when he got out, and I got out of the car. So, I walked inside the store and still couldn't find his ass. At this point I started to think I had lost my mind & had some sort of psychotic break, and just maybe he was at home and had never gone with me... After deciding that I've gone completely nuts,,, I head back to the car to go back home and get him,,,,, when,,,, suddenly,,, he appears in the parking lot...
Well,,, guess what!!!,,,, the old fart had stepped out of our car and noticed some other old codger who was having car problems,,, so he had walked over and was under the car taking a look. He didn't think that it was important enough to tell me, before disappearing from sight under someones car.
I was furious!!!! here I was thinking I'd gone bonkers and my life would surly wind up locked away in a place for crazy people,,,, and he was all smiling and happy because he was able to help a fellow codger get his wheels going again.
I got his ass into the car (chewed him out along the way),,, drove him home and dropped him off at the door step,,, and went back to the store (alone this time) and bought whatever it was we needed.
To-this-day,,, he has never understood why I got so mad. Well,,, HELLO,,,, going from sanity to insanity and back again within the space of 10 minutes can be a little unnerving...
Moral of the story; Boyfriends & husbands don't always realize that a lack of communication can create big ass problems in a short amount of time.
Nutty Jim
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jimcrackcorn Wrote:This reminds me of a time (15 years ago) when my husband and I went to Home Depot to get something; when we arrived at the store, my husband got out of the car immediately,,, while I spent a few extra seconds turning all the gizmos off in the car. When I finally got out,, he was nowhere in site. So I thought that was strange because only a few seconds had lapsed between when he got out, and I got out of the car. So, I walked inside the store and still couldn't find his ass. At this point I started to think I had lost my mind & had some sort of psychotic break, and just maybe he was at home and had never gone with me... After deciding that I've gone completely nuts,,, I head back to the car to go back home and get him,,,,, when,,,, suddenly,,, he appears in the parking lot...
Well,,, guess what!!!,,,, the old fart had stepped out of our car and noticed some other old codger who was having car problems,,, so he had walked over and was under the car taking a look. He didn't think that it was important enough to tell me, before disappearing from sight under someones car.
I was furious!!!! here I was thinking I'd gone bonkers and my life would surly wind up locked away in a place for crazy people,,,, and he was all smiling and happy because he was able to help a fellow codger get his wheels going again.
I got his ass into the car (chewed him out along the way),,, drove him home and dropped him off at the door step,,, and went back to the store (alone this time) and bought whatever it was we needed.
To-this-day,,, he has never understood why I got so mad. Well,,, HELLO,,,, going from sanity to insanity and back again within the space of 10 minutes can be a little unnerving...
Moral of the story; Boyfriends & husbands don't always realize that a lack of communication can create big ass problems in a short amount of time.
Nutty Jim For the love of God Jimmy. .
A little abandonment complex got the best of you..lol..
For a second you thought he made a clean break..lol?
There is something random and neanderthalic about testosterone. . (His behavior)
Sometimes men do strange things without realizing. .
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Anocxu Wrote:For the love of God Jimmy. .
A little abandonment complex got the best of you..lol..
For a second you thought he made a clean break..lol?
There is something random and neanderthalic about testosterone. . (His behavior)
Sometimes men do strange things without realizing. .
Hahaha,,,,, I have fixed my abandonment issues... I now keep him tied up in the basement!!! There is no escape from my demented presence................. <fleeeeee>
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Well.....I think you have to decide if that quality is going to be OK with you...or not?
I would drive most guys crazy. I am very much in the moment and open to whatever happens in front of me. I always go with my gut. When I met my current BF of 30 years...I told him upfront that if I have a feeling I need or want to talk to someone or help someone..I always go with my feeling..and that might be hard on him...
He is OK with it..most guys wouldn't be...
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