11-06-2015, 12:46 PM
Hi, I'm Peter not a saint
I'm John, not a Baptist
I'm Mary, not a virgin.
I'm John, not a Baptist
I'm Mary, not a virgin.
 My Jokes
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thawoods
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thawoods
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11-06-2015, 12:56 PM
3 men were in a bar talking about their wives' pregnancies:
man # 1: When my wife was pregnant, we used to watch Twin Dragons everyday and we had twins! man # 2: That's nothing! When my wife was pregnant, I brought her to the movies and we watched "The Three Musketeers;" we had triplets! man # 3: *looking nervous* man # 1 & # 2: Why, what was your favorite movie? man # 3: 300! 
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11-07-2015, 05:27 AM
What do you get when you put a Cow on the ground?
Ground Beef!!!! ________________________________________________________________________ What do you get when you put an Elephant on a fence? A new fence!!!! ____________________________________________________________________ The Queen of Corny, Jim We Have Elvis !!
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11-07-2015, 05:32 AM
thawoods Wrote:Hi, I'm Peter not a saint I like this one and am going to use it at the next Senior Citizen Luncheon. Just hope there are no old religious ladies with their hearing aids turned on. (big grin)... We Have Elvis !!
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11-07-2015, 03:22 PM
jimcrackcorn Wrote:I like this one and am going to use it at the next Senior Citizen Luncheon. Just hope there are no old religious ladies with their hearing aids turned on. (big grin)... Hi Jim, the original joke was about two stutterers who meet and go out to play tennis. If you're going to tell the joke it adds to it if you "stutter", i.e.: I'm P P P P Peter and I'm not a S S S Saint. I'm M M M M Mary and I'm not a V V V Very good player Bear in mind that it might possibly offend any stutterers in the audience so tread carefully.
"You can be young without money but you can't be old without money"
Maggie the Cat from "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof." by Tennessee Williams
thawoods
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11-09-2015, 04:48 PM
wife: Honey, am I pretty?
husband: yes honey, you are pretty; pretty ugly
thawoods
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11-09-2015, 04:50 PM
Bin Laden's son was studying at an American school, when a teacher asked him,
"Osama bin Laden III, I have 3 apples, how am I going to divide it among 4 children? He answered, "KILL ONE CHILD!"
thawoods
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11-16-2015, 12:10 PM
Teacher: (to class) "Who can point to everyone where America is?"
Jimmy: *raises hand* Teacher: "ok Jimmy..... very good! Now class, who discovered America?" Class: "JIMMY!"
thawoods
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11-16-2015, 03:25 PM
Question: Why is 6 afraid of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9 |
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