My Jokes

[thawoods]

Q: How many roaches does it take to unscrew a light bulb?
A: Can't tell, 'cause when the lights turn on, they scatter ! XD

[thawoods]

three Chinese friends immigrated to America

They were: Bu, Chu and Fu.

Bu became Buck, Chu became Chuck and Fu... we... he....they decided to go back to China.

[Beaux]

A young girl is locked into a room with no other doors and no windows. When the door is unlocked, it is discovered that the little girl is gone! What happened to her???

The radiator!

~Beaux

[thawoods]

The scariest story of all time:

The last man in the world was reading a newspaper in his living rooom; there was a knock on the door.

[thawoods]

A man found a lamp and rubbed it, when a genie came out:

Genie: "I shall grant you one wish."
**man get excited**
Man: "I want to be in between Rachel McAdam's legs!"
Genie: "Ok, I shall turn you into a napkin!"
*****

[thawoods]

What is the difference between Prince Charles and a booger?

A: Prince Charles is heir to the throne while a booger is thrown to the air!

[thawoods]

sperm #1 : I think we are in the uterus! near the ovary!
sperm#2: no! we are in the esophagus! near the stomach!

[thawoods]

...Bill Gates sleeping with a prostitute...

Bill: How does it feel to sleep with the richest man in the world?
Prostitute: Now I know why they call your company, "Microsoft."

[thawoods]

Q: Why did princess Diana divorce Prince Charles?
A: ...because she found out that not all rulers have 12 inches.

[thawoods]

...a man singing at the bar...

man: "♫♪...and did it myyyy...♪♫"
**heard a gun cock**
man: "♫♪...my reason that I breathe, you are my destiny, jai ho!...♪♫"