meridannight Wrote:and please don't ask me to stay. it isn't about that. i am not leaving for one bad thread/exchange. it's deeper than that. i know i am incompatible with internet communication, i realize this more and more i do it. of course i can exist with people on the same forum, but i also fundamentally misunderstand others, and others fundamentally misunderstand me. and i don't feel that i am expressing myself authentically. just leave it be.
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OUCH! You just solved a years long mystery for me in one fell swoop. I tried...but I could never put my finger on the exact thing that has always bothered me on the internet....
I easily converse with people in my 3-D life...I have a zero shy factor....and I love to look in someone's eyes and I use body language and easily understand body language in others...and I know I am being understood...
My thing though..I am extremely direct and to the point and I do a great job of saying things no one else will say or telling people things no one else has the balls to tell them.... AND letting them know I am not trying to be a bastard about it..but someone needs to be the messenger and I have the balls to do it.....and I am rarely...if ever...misunderstood. I am confident with the use of my body language and my tone that the person I am talking to knows I am not trying to harm them in any way. I do like to help people...it is natural for me to do so...and when I see someone drowning in something...I bring them up for air....and I am good at it...
That is my actual personality..and it is soooooo watered down on the internet...I feel like a freak most of the time. Choosing my words carefully as to not offend anyone is torturous for me....and I am a bland version of me. My personality is pretty much dead on the internet...
I also have about very little tolerance for whining (as I am whining myself now
...the irony is not lost on me and YES...I regularly kick my own ass too)...I am still not sure what happened here....not sure it really matters though...it is what it is.. ....I am not in the mood anymore to figure out a way to offer any useful advice without "offending" ...or evoking more whining......and I am seriously out of place.....
I am not going to delete though...I promised myself after the last two times I deleted that if I ever wanted to do that again..I would just fade into the background just in case I ever changed my mind later...and there are a lot of people I like a lot here...so I will probably just take a break....
If anyone hears from Virge...someone let me know....