Coming out to parents at 51

[Pcolakuntryboy]

Are they generally accepting and open minded people? Have you ever heard them making homophobic remarks?

[kindy64]

Are they generally accepting and open minded people? Have you ever heard them making homophobic remarks?

Generally, I think they are open minded, but really don't know. I don't recall them making homophobic remarks, but then it's been awhile since I lived with them (almost 30 years now.)

[jimcrackcorn]

I wish you & your boyfriend the best of luck,, and hope your family will be accepting towards both of you.

Every family dynamic is different,,, and they might even surprise you at how well they take the news.

Best wishes,
Jim

[Darius]

You can do what you want, but generally I think facing up to these things as personally as you can is the best way. Even a phone call is not as good as talking to them face to face. Seeing their reaction could be worth a lot to you. Is it possible they already have suspicions? Did your wife suspect? People are not always as clueless as we think.

[matty7]

just take your boyfriend .. most questions will be answered once you announce him as such , they either react with shock as anyone would at first but then accepting - or they wont which is there loss im afraid - on the positive side, this could be the thing that brings you and your family closer....nothing gained nothing lost at this point really...so go for it

[LJay]

Your best bet is to write a one page letter ASAP. It will give them the chance to discover the news in private and separate the event from a family holiday. They will then have the option to reply to you as they wish. If they want you to come for the holidays, ask if it is OK to bring your boyfriend. Let them make the decision based on their comfort level. This is not likely to to be simply a one time event. You want to give them chances to absord the information while maintaining their dignity and composure. It will take them some time to assimilate the news. Let's hope all goes well.

[deltalover4]

I wish you the very best. Coming out at 23 was certainly not easy. And at your age, I'm sure it's even harder, especially after being married before. I don't, however recommend that you tell your parents over a letter. They need to hear it from YOU, even if it's over the phone or through video chat. I hope things go as well as they can...

[kindy64]

So far this is all I've come up with, after telling them the divorce is final...

So, there's no easy way to tell you the next news. I've been waiting to tell you until we are together, but that's not going to happen till the Christmas Holidays. I am bisexual. I'm attracted to both women and men. I've known this since I was at least 13, and had never done anything about my attraction to males until I separated last year. This was only a part of wanting to get divorced. A lot of things led up to the divorce, mainly that I couldn't see living with Shelly for the rest of my life anymore. Dating since separating has been interesting, and I actually have a steady boyfriend. We've been going together since May.

[Lexington]

My general suggestion is to take on the mindset that you wish THEY would take on. If you treat your sexuality like a horrible admission, then they're more likely to think it is. If you treat it like it's no big deal, then they're more likely to think so, as well.

So while there's nothing wrong with what you've written, I'd avoid the first two sentences, as they make your sexuality out to be something of a bombshell announcement. Even if it IS, I'd say it's best to treat it as though it isn't. "Since the divorce, I've started dating once again. I met a guy named Fred, and we've been seeing each other for the last three months."

Lex

[Mike33nyc]

Good luck with everything