Can I marry my stepdad’s brother?

[JasonAndU]

I am a 22 yo gay man. My dad died when I was a baby. My mom is 42 yo and she married a young man who is 17 yo younger than her. They love each other and they are both happy, so I have no problem with that. I am already out to my family and have been with a 27 yo man over five yrs, but I did not tell anyone about our relationship because he is my stepdad’s older brother. I moved in with him this year and I told my mom he lives very close to where I work and I am paying him rent (in fact I’m not). I really love him and even want to marry him, but he has not come out yet (he is actually bi, he never dated a guy before and everybody thinks he is straight) and I am afraid to tell my parents our real relationship because it might cause problems between my mom and stepdad. My boyfriend is ok with the current situation, I thought I would be as well but now I’m starting to doubt it, so should I say something or remain silent?

[Cuddly]

Being unable to talk about your feelings and daily life is toxic. It's the reason we come out to begin with.
If he doesn't want to come out, then that's his decision, but if you don't want that life of secrecy, then you owe it to him and yourself to tell him.

As for marrying your step-uncle, yeah, that's super awkward, but who am I to judge? You're consenting adults.

[LONDONER]

There's nothing physically to stop you marrying him but you could only do so when he decides to come out. Presumably his brother, your step-father, doesn't know he's gay or bi. If your mother and your step-father are OK with you being gay, it shouldn't be such a problem for them to accept him also.

[Insertnamehere]

Coming out it's his choice, not yours.

If you both are ok with the situation, I see no problem. Keep in mind that it may cause plenty of problems with your mom and his dude if this all comes to light.

You either will need to keep it very secretive, which may or may not work, or you'll have to talk to the guy in question and ponder whether he is ready to tell.

There are 2 levels of difficulty here, if you all decide that it needs to be told: his closeted status and then the relative status.

Don't out him, talk to him first, and decide a course of action and whether you both are willing to go throught it and deal with whatever consequences there might be. If the love is there, I don't think it should be so problematic anyway.

[Anocxu]

Do it..
Five years?
Both of you are happy?
Very few complications?

..
I was thinking maybe there is a "Taboo Thrill Factor " that's driving the relationship .. but that would have already worn off ..

I bet you'd look great in Vera Wang

[thawoods]

I am a 22 yo gay man. My dad died when I was a baby. My mom is 42 yo and she married a young man who is 17 yo younger than her. They love each other and they are both happy, so I have no problem with that. I am already out to my family and have been with a 27 yo man over five yrs, but I did not tell anyone about our relationship because he is my stepdad’s older brother. I moved in with him this year and I told my mom he lives very close to where I work and I am paying him rent (in fact I’m not). I really love him and even want to marry him, but he has not come out yet (he is actually bi, he never dated a guy before and everybody thinks he is straight) and I am afraid to tell my parents our real relationship because it might cause problems between my mom and stepdad. My boyfriend is ok with the current situation, I thought I would be as well but now I’m starting to doubt it, so should I say something or remain silent?

dxmn, you got me thinking but i'm all for fantasies about fxcking other people especially one of your relatives..... lolx

[Anocxu]

dxmn, you got me thinking but i'm all for fantasies about fxcking other people especially one of your relatives..... lolx

I clicked the like icon accidentally. ..

They are not blood relatives. .
Mom and son are getting apples from the same tree..
Just not the same apple..

(You just outed a twisted fantasy of yours mr...)

[JasonAndU]

Btw, my baby brother was born three yrs ago. One day my mom was joking about when am I gonna get her a grandchild and whose last name that baby is going to take, and I said oh sorry you’re probably gonna have to wait for a long time since I don’t even have a partner yet and I don’t wanna be a single father. Well my stepdad sounded like joking, but he said to my mom “don’t worry, ur second son will definitely get you tons”. He never showed antipathy to gay men but I felt a little offended at that time, so speaking of which, I could somewhat tell his machismo and attitude towards gay. Actually I don’t worry about what he thinks of me or gay, I just wish I could find a way to solve the issues without causing conflicts between my mom and he.

Yes, I have been mad at my boyfriend because he is still in the closet, things would be much easier if he were not. I even broke up with him once but he begged me to take him back, and I know I truly don’t want a life without him. On the other hand, I didn’t officially come out either, my mom actually found it by herself. Even I don’t have such courage and his situation is more complicated than mine, I feel I’m really not in a position to judge him.

[JasonAndU]

Coming out it's his choice, not yours.

Of course I won’t out him, I would have done that already if I’m having that thought. But here are my concerns:
My mom dated several guys after my dad died but never worked out until she met my stepdad. It’s been hard for her to be a single mother and raise me up by herself those yrs, I’m glad that she finally met someone who is right for her. Generally speaking, my stepdad has been a great husband and works very hard to take care of her. However, his family is from Texas and is more conservative, basically they are neither being supportive nor against gay ppl (honestly I believe they don't like gay, they either don't wanna hurt my feelings or just don’t care that I'm gay). My boyfriend is very straight acting and used to serve in the navy, and no one ever doubted that he is straight. I’m not sure how they will react when my mom finds out that her son is sleeping with her brother-in-law and my stepdad knows his brother is his stepson's boyfriend. Especially my stepdad, he has no idea his big brother is attracted to guys as well. Yes, he may be ok with that I’m gay, but when it comes to the big brother he admires a lot, I really can’t say how differently he will react. My biggest concern is that I’m afraid that it might even hurt their marriage, which is why I lied to my mom and stepdad that I'm just temporarily staying with him till I save up enough money and get my own house. Apparently, I don't want a discreet relationship forever, I mean, who dose?

[AlfredM]

Well,even if you came out accidentally,you're out now. Maybe you're not in the position,but you can be the one to support and encourage him,something you'd appreciate yourself,had you ever decided to come out on your own term.

Funny that your step dad made such remark,cause he wouldn't know yet if his son is also not straight.

It is gonna be complicated,and I suppose you'll have to get your partner to come out first before anything else.