11-15-2015, 07:21 PM
I think you need to evaluate the benefits and risks that would come from coming clean with your parents about your relationship. Exactly what do you expect to win and what could you loose if they know the truth?. Are they flexible/open minded? Do you thing they would accept to hang out with you as a couple? (Would they be able to accept watching you cuddling/kissing in their presence?). And of course, you’ll have to consider what options do you have in case they oppose to the relationship.
Whatever the decision you take, sooner or later they are gonna find out what’s happening and if they do it by surprise, whether they caught you in the act or are told by a witness they could get really mad; firstly because of the secrecy in all these years and secondly because the kinship that each of you keeps with your parents.
You mention that you have currently 22 years old and have been in a relationship with your step-uncle for over 5 years: that implies that you started dating him at 17 years old. What is the consent age in the place where you live?. It may sound a bit exaggerated, but someone could consider that as a statutory rape. Have you thought of that?. Do you thing your mother could reaction could go to that extreme?.
On the other hand, what could happen if they oppose to the relationship?. Suppose that any of your parents forbid you to keep having a relationship. What are you willing to do?. You’re already an adult so they can’t separate your legally.
If you decide to keep your relationship in secret, maybe you would like to discuss about the possible preventive measures you’ll have to take in order to keep your parents in the ignorance and mentally prepare yourself to live behind a lie.
I personally think that if you two are consenting adults living their lives without harming others you should be granted a chance to be happy together. Also, if you respected and supported your mom when she got married with the other guy, you are entitled to the same treatment. What helps you a lot is that you guys are not related in any way by blood.
I wish you luck, hope you’ll take the best decision and that it works for both parts sake (the lovers and the parents).
Greetings,
RainV
Whatever the decision you take, sooner or later they are gonna find out what’s happening and if they do it by surprise, whether they caught you in the act or are told by a witness they could get really mad; firstly because of the secrecy in all these years and secondly because the kinship that each of you keeps with your parents.
You mention that you have currently 22 years old and have been in a relationship with your step-uncle for over 5 years: that implies that you started dating him at 17 years old. What is the consent age in the place where you live?. It may sound a bit exaggerated, but someone could consider that as a statutory rape. Have you thought of that?. Do you thing your mother could reaction could go to that extreme?.
On the other hand, what could happen if they oppose to the relationship?. Suppose that any of your parents forbid you to keep having a relationship. What are you willing to do?. You’re already an adult so they can’t separate your legally.
If you decide to keep your relationship in secret, maybe you would like to discuss about the possible preventive measures you’ll have to take in order to keep your parents in the ignorance and mentally prepare yourself to live behind a lie.
I personally think that if you two are consenting adults living their lives without harming others you should be granted a chance to be happy together. Also, if you respected and supported your mom when she got married with the other guy, you are entitled to the same treatment. What helps you a lot is that you guys are not related in any way by blood.
I wish you luck, hope you’ll take the best decision and that it works for both parts sake (the lovers and the parents).
Greetings,
RainV
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