Posts: 5,805
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I'm a : Gay Man in a Monogamous Gay Relationship
Starsign: 
Leo
Mood:
Is it possible to be too nice to someone you're dating? Not suggesting I should be mean but maybe I'm oblivious when they're expecting me to be more aggressive or banter I guess that's the word I'm looking for. However, still getting to know this person and I try to stay in the lines somewhat. Or perhaps I am just being too uptight, trying to please everyone and maybe express myself less...
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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My advice is: just be who you are; if she is accepting, you'll know; if she is not, then she was never worthy of your attention in the first place.
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Posts: 5,805
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I'm a : Gay Man in a Monogamous Gay Relationship
Starsign: Leo
Mood:
Well my post is stuck in moderation queue...speaking of, anything I have tried to post that has got into the queue has yet to come out...some are about a week old...is it to censor what new people post or to prevent spam?
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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You know how sometimes you date someone for a while and think you know them... then they seem to start suddenly changing into a different person?
Don't be that person. Being yourself from the start is a far better way to begin the things that you want to last.
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Posts: 5,805
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I'm a : Gay Man in a Monogamous Gay Relationship
Starsign: Leo
Mood:
I get that, I'm not pretending to be someone else or try to live up to someone else's expectations. This was really just texting back and fourth type thing. Like I'm one to say "let me know if there's anything I can do to help." While there probably isn't, I do like being helpful where I can...doesn't mean I want to paint a fence or something...and had nothing to do with the actual conversation, but it is an example. I think his response was a message. My reply was I'd have to wing it and so on, but he said I was too easy...I actually didn't get it lol I would have totally gave him a massage lol But then I started thinking about if I'm being too nice, too agreeable and so on.
Of course there is a mean side of me, I'm often impatient with thing, sometimes people. I do occasionally get pissed off at things and people tailgating me or driving 20 mph. I do have my irrationality and I suspect so does everyone else.
I don't think I am going to be one of those people who just change because I get too comfortable with someone. I'm pretty comfortable with myself, just shy at the start.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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I feel like I know exactly what you're talking about. Guys are frequently socialized that coarseness and insults are supposed to be part of their personalities. If you are always kind and adaptable this kind of guy might feel like you're not enough of a challenge, or a push-over. I guess they don't know what to do with that.
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Posts: 4,635
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I'm a : Single Gay Man
Starsign: 
Sagittarius
Mood:
Sounds like you were overthinking an invitation to a hookup.
I'm not being critical here. We all see things differently.
That's why I don't like texting in these situations, or even phone calls. It is too easy to miss the cues that tell you the whole story.
I bid NO Trump!
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Virgo
