why is running a relationship so hard?

[Pcolakuntryboy]

Maybe it's just a language barrier, but what does "running a relationship" mean? Sounds like some type of business venture.

j/k

[InbetweenDreams]

Maybe it's just a language barrier, but what does "running a relationship" mean? Sounds like some type of business venture.

j/k

I think in the context of the OP I think it was more a figure of speech not so much literal... However I think I know what you mean and I have to say I do agree that being in a relationship shouldn't be burden, it should for the most part be enjoyable...but at the same time people fight, people are often petty and I think we paint this blissful picture of what a relationship is and should be and often isn't the case. I think the test of a relationship is whether you can let go of meaningless arguments, be willing to give more than you take. What do you do if your boyfriend were to become ill, disabled, unemployed. We say that we would always be there through thick and thin and yet that is often not the case. I do think there is one thing that always remains true in any relationship is that there always effort that needs to be put forth to make one work.

[Keith]

Maybe it's just a language barrier, but what does "running a relationship" mean? Sounds like some type of business venture.

j/k

yup, language sometimes is a problem. new vocabulares always show up and sometimes culture difference is hard to deal with. I am still learning English. but i always ask him what it means or what it implies when i do not understand that. and he does explain that.

[matty7]

I guess its hard to run a relationship if only one of you makes the effort or the other person involved just takes advantage of you - was that part of your problem ?

[Trennntt]

to me the longer a relationship got , the easier it got to work with the other person. i dont know if it's because expectations lower or not, lol.

[InbetweenDreams]

Honestly, I think relationships become a lot easier with the right person. They're hard because people don't want to communicate, they're either scared, make assumptions about their partner and don't want to admit they're clashing with each other. Of course if you're in too deep, living with them, got finances in the mix, plus sex problems, just makes it work. Seems like a lot of us want to throw the towel in at the first sign of trouble, other wait until nuclear war is about to break out. The key is just get your shit out on the table early on, be clear about what your wants and needs are...including your sexual needs. Too many good guys want to make sex out like it is something sacred, it can be, but there's also nothing wrong with having someone on the regular to fool around with. I don't suggest, ever, to go out and hook up with someone random you don't know, I think that's a good way to spread STD's imo.

So my advice to anyone is just talk it out, if you expect to have sex and do certain things, discuss it, it doesn't matter if they're the most handsome, cute, hot, sexy and smart, brilliant they are, because it doesn't matter if neither of you are getting what they want.

So yep, the right person will be easier... finding them is a lot of trial and error, some of those errors will be on you, some will be on them but you'll get there faster if you're just up front.

[Beaux]

I guess its hard to run a relationship if only one of you makes the effort or the other person involved just takes advantage of you - was that part of your problem ?

^^^^THIS!!!
~Beaux

[kindy64]

Yep, relationships are hard. Communication is the key. Something my boyfriend and I are constantly finding out, we don't communicate often enough or deeply enough.

Here I've been thinking we'd been doing good, he's been away for a month and we'd been talking via text and calls. He comes back, and has been busy catching up with friends and family. Finally yesterday he blows up because I picked up the kitten he rescued off his chest and dropped him on the floor. Well, the kitten was starting to hack up a hair ball. He thought I was to rough with the cat and it brought out all this other crap he'd been holding onto.

He stormed off and went on a quick trip to get coffee and clear his head. We texted a bit over the issues, and talked when he got back.

Talking is the only way to work through the issues. And if you don't bring something up, don't expect it to be magically fixed because you pout over it. It is the same thing I tell our QA and support departments, if you don't tell us there's a problem, we cant fix it.

Of course, both parties need to 1) recognize that there are issues, and 2) want to fix the issues. Even if you don't think it's an issue, you should be respectful of your partners thoughts/feelings about it. Obviously if one person thinks it's an issue, then it's an issue.

[meridannight]

the degree of hardness depends on the person you're in the relationship with, and in that unique way your two characters mix together when they meet, like two chemicals. it's not unlike chemistry. you two will either peacefully dissolve in one another or make the room around you explode.