how many of you hate Chinese people?

[AlfredM]

I have to strongly disagree on that.

I think if we want to play the blame game, blame the education system and how our country works. In our country, we have many types of schools; the national school (multicultural), the Chinese school, the Indian school and don't forget, we have the religion school (for Islam practice). All these lead to racial segregation.

First of all, I'm a Malay.

All of my close friends are Malaysian Chinese. My best friend is an Indian guy. Few of my Chinese and Indian friends can speak fluently in our national language. Far better than me.

All of my friends whether Malay, Chinese, Indian and foreigners know that I have a big issue with Bumiputera privileges. If you're born as a Malay, you are granted Bumiputera (literally translates to Prince of the Earth) privileges, which gives you benefits that no other ethnicities will get.
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Lack of fluency in national language doesn't make a Malaysian less Malaysian. It's where you put your heart that determines how Malaysian you are.

Yeah, it's deeply rooted in our education system. I'm a product of religious school, which is just another name for Malay school, so the first time I made friends outside of my race was when I went to national service.

Lack of fluency certainly doesn't make a Malaysian less Malaysian. I'm just pointing out that when you meet someone of a different ethnicity than the majority in another country, second generations onwards can speak the language very fluently without any accent, and it astonishes me. We don't have that in Malaysia. It just shows how segregated our society is despite gaining independence over half a century already.

Oh, and I'm with you regarding that Bumiputra issue. I certainly enjoy the privilege, but I think it's very unfair to other ethnicities. I'd rather that everybody gets equal opportunity.

[MikeW]

When I was young my parents lived through the civil rights era. They seldom had anything good to say about black people and told us the stories about the riots. My mom was beat up by black students without cause. So they didn't preach tolerance and equality.

I think it is funny that I'm being called racist because I feel nervous around some black people. I've never been mean or unfair to anyone for the color of their skin. I can't explain why, just as I can't explain why I get nervous giving a presentation in front of 500 people.

Ummm.... I'm not meaning to "call you" a racist. As in insult you or insist i'm right and you're wrong. Perhaps we have different definitions of what it means to be a racist.

I'm a racist. I can't help it. I'm not proud of this fact but I don't deny it, either. I grew up in a social environment that was so WASPish that even Catholics were rare (and looked upon with suspicion). Jews? Blacks? Asians? Mexicans?... never saw one IRL. Your point most Americans not knowing the difference between Chinese and other ethnicities is right on... but, from their POV it doesn't matter... they're all just "furners."

There's a scene in the movie "The Good Shepherd" where the Matt Daemon character is talking with the Joe Pesci character...a combination of mobster Sam Giancana and mafia boss Santo Trafficante Jr. (Italian ethnicity). Pesci is going on about how the different ethnic groups have different qualities that set them apart, it is what they have. He asks Daemon, "What is it YOU PEOPLE have?" The answer Daemon gave is telling: "We have America: The rest of you are just visiting." That's how white people, especially protestant white people, SEE this situation... and this was especially so in the 1950s (my era of growing up).

So, yeah, if you're feeling uncomfortable around black people in general... that *to me* IS racism. It isn't conscious. It is visceral. Feels almost "instinctual". To me that is the essence of racism. I experience it too and every time I do I try to look at it and acknowledge it for what it is... cultural programming... so my thinking, feeling and actions aren't controlled by it.

[InbetweenDreams]

[MENTION=20947]MikeW[/MENTION] I would have to agree that our definition of racist is a bit different. To me it's one thing be a bit uncomfortable around some black people versus practicing racism. I acknowledge it myself and I do my best to be a decent person.

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/racist

Of course, not trying to argue or anything but to me it would make me a racist if I thought that black people were beneath me, that I felt better than they do or that I'm smarter or wouldn't consider them to be part of a work project or something along those lines. Just a feeling you get, I think it all boils down to how you act, feelings are something we can get over. If I worked with black people everyday I would likely stop feeling nervous at some point.

Just like I hate heights, I admit I'm a big chicken getting on ladders, I get lightheaded from the anxiety just going up a few steps. I suppose if I were forced to get on a ladder, might time some time, I would eventually get over my fear of heights...maybe...but I suppose you get the point I'm trying to make.

When I think about it, race is really a bunch of nonsense, we all come from different places, different background and we are unwilling to admit that we are more alike than different...even if we don't speak the same language. I suppose people will disagree, I mean culturally speaking there are some things that I would find bizarre.

[MikeW]

...I've been getting up at 5:15 AM to get on the treadmill...it is dark when I go to work and getting dark when I get home and winter is starting to set in too. I think I might be able to get the weight off in another 18 months hopefully...if I stay committed to it...I think that is a healthy rate to lose weight, probably could do it faster but I think if I try to change too many things at once I'll probably fail ...

I agree with this. At one point... around 2010... I'd gotten over 250lbs. I don't know how *much* over because I stopped weighing myself. I didn't want to know. It took a long time to get down to 200. I'm now around 190 and I'd like to loose more fat (not necessarily wight). My BF % is around 26% and I'd like to get it down to 15% or less. At this point most of that fat is visceral (protruding abdomen due to fat around the organs within the abdominal wall). Getting rid of it is a real bear because I don't want to have to *obsess* about what I'm eating. Still, the problem is, I eat too much. It used to be WHAT I ate... very poor diet. That has gotten cleaned up a lot. I still cheat or binge occasionally on 'bad' stuff (I ate an entire pumpkin pie on Thanksgiving, for example.... I'm addicted to starchy sweet things like pies, cakes, cookies.) But, still, all in all, I *am* loosing fat while simultaneously gaining a bit of weight. I'm doing that by working out, doing some heavy lifting, and monitoring my body composition fairly closely.

So.. I'm wondering... is running really helping? I ask because one can not out-run a calorie surplus. Period.

I started reading about all this (and still do read about it a lot) back when I first started trying to change my body composition. I began by walking. A lot. Then, after a year or so, I joined a gym... as well as began focusing on cleaning up my diet. Due to my emotional eating disorder it has been a long row to hoe, but I am succeeding gradually.

I'm now at the point where I have to really begin focusing on my caloric intake and limiting that... specifically making sure I get enough protein, fats and carbs in the right ratios that I continue to gain a bit of muscle while loosing body fat. Tricky. I still walk a lot almost every day and do short-burst (sprint like) aerobics as "finishers" after my workouts. But my focus is on weight lifting.

I'll just say that from what I can see from your pictures, I think you could benefit from weight lifting. To me it looks like you have that kind of "body type"... you could buff out to be a fucking hunk.... I'd be willing to bet money on it. That is, if you WANT to. That's the whole key. You have to want it enough that you enjoy doing it. If it feels like a boring chore, then, no, it won't work. It *has* to be "fun" in some sense of the word.

[InbetweenDreams]

[MENTION=20947]MikeW[/MENTION] I would agree on the weight lifting stuff...I could use it and from what I remember I do tone well... I figure if I could get down under 180 that would be my goal...right now I'm at the 240 range...I don't think I look quite that heavy but I can certainly tell I've gained weight, a lot of clothing that I can't wear currently because it fits tighter than I like. I also thing the weight training might burn more fat in conjunction with the running...

The other problem I deal with is that I again get really anxious walking into a gym... Another one to get over... But I figure I can start doing some basic things...push ups and make use of my dumbbells that have been sitting around doing nothing.

In the past any time I would attempt any kind of work out I would hit it too hard and just say to hell with it... but I think easing into it might end up being more encouraging...

[MikeW]

[MENTION=20947]MikeW[/MENTION] I would agree on the weight lifting stuff...I could use it and from what I remember I do tone well...

The other problem I deal with is that I again get really anxious walking into a gym...

In the past any time I would attempt any kind of work out I would hit it too hard and just say to hell with it... but I think easing into it might end up being more encouraging...

I don't want us to take this thread any further off-topic than we have... but I'd be happy to help you with all that in any way I can. Trust me, I know all about the gym anxiety stuff. I'll be 68 years old next month and I work out at a gym that is a) mostly college age "kids" and b) some of them are genuine athletes. So, yeah, I go four times a week and every time I have to confront my anxiety and self-consciousness. That said, I *DO* it... and actually love it ... That's from someone who was never even close to being a jock. (I wish now I had done this at your age... age does make a real difference.) Anyway... maybe we can start a thread on this topic.

[Insertnamehere]

[MENTION=19258]thawoods[/MENTION] To each their own

Or, a bit more elaborated, if I may, for me it depends on the guy in question. I do like some muscle on some guys, some others are super sexy non-buffed.

[MENTION=19896]Keith[/MENTION] looks fine to me as he is.

[LJay]

OK, a few things. I have enjoyed following this thread and have now decided to do my part in screwing it up.

Axle, I think you have a kind of discomfort around (black) people who are different from your background and upbringing. I also think that you are aware of it and working on dealing with it in a positive way. We could do a LOT worse than that as a general approach. You may be xenophobic but I find it hard to think of you as racist under the circumstances.

Mike, I made it to 68 before you did and I am flat out jealous that you are dealing with your conditioning so well. Grrr.... I have no motivation.

Axle, it seems that weight lifting and the growth of muscle tissue encourages weight loss because muscle metabolizes nutrients more efficiently. My diabetic doctors tell me that using those dumbbells makes you a smart cookie. Go for it. Also, since you are obviously a bright guy, please take time to read up on type 2 diabetes and how to avoid it. Please, please do this. You may be able to avoid an awful lot of trouble as you age.

[Emiliano]

I have a Q. does that mean i am a racist if i say white guys are more charming or more attractive to me than yellow guys? I do not know why, its just like i prefer huskies than chihuahua. Chihuahua is not cute to me. no offense guys. well, yellow guys are still charming. Or maybe i have been seeing too much whiteguys pics recently. but chihuahua, oh no. even if its a male one, its not cute to me.

And now its gone exactly where I expected it to go...

And maybe this will be an expected response from me. And I probably wouldn't have bothered adding anything else to this thread had someone not been called out for racial prejudice against black people. But im going to put aside the part of me that would rather be non confrontational and friendly and accessible to all you guys, and for those reasons I might regret this - not because i think anything im about to say is out of line. Im not going to just keep it to myself though, so im going to come in with a slightly different tone.

While I agree with and appreciate the people who did call it out, because i don't believe in coddling white people when it comes to race and racism - especially because of how pervasive and damaging it is in this country right now -but why did you guys pass up calling out the same sort of racist prejudice against asian people? Writing off an entire race of people as lacking any sort of sexually attractive features across the board is based as deeply in stereotype and racism as being scared of them or uncomfortable around them.

Full disclosure, I'm mixed - to put it simply, i'm black and asian. So call me out as being sensitive about it or just hyper aware of it, but black men and asian men (gay and straight) are probably the two most negatively sexually represented races while often at the same time being fetishized. So all that "I'm not racist but, I find this entire race to be _______" - that strikes me as racism. Because that has been culturally programmed into you. Which is how structural racism works.

Media representations are not a valid excuse. The way your racist parents raised you is not an excuse. That you grew up in bumblefuck and never met a person outside of your race until you were 30 is not an excuse. That your mind has been dominated by western european / white american pop culture and beauty ideals is not an excuse.
Those are reasons. Reasons for why you're racist.

At least black people have black is beautiful and black power and black lives matter and all those race positive movements. But what is going on with so many gay east asian men? I am so over this tired, repetitive bullshit of so many of them viewing themselves and others as sexually inferior to white men. Or that their attractiveness is dependent on whether or not a white man wants to have sex with them.

Keith I'm sure you're a nice guy and all, but don't come here like you're going to complain about white men not viewing you as attractive because you are chinese, when you hold the same tired ass racist views of your own race.

[Cridders88]

[MENTION=21558]Emiliano[/MENTION], sums up my thoughts exactly. I just couldn't put it so eloquently.