Halp

[Anonymous]

So I've been using online dating websites like grindr and okcupid for like the last 2 years. and we get convos going and then when it comes time to call. i get cold feet and never pick up which usually results in an instant turn off for whoever it is. I really wanna go forward into a relationship because itll really solidify my coming out process and make me overall happier. but i need help. i need to know how to talk on the phone to these guys who live a couple cities away but i always chicken out. you guys what can i do to talk to these guys and prevent it to what i feel will become phone sex.

on the topic of coming out i wanna come out before the new year but im just torn on how to do it. should i write a letter or text message? or would my parents think that as insulting and would rather here it from my mouth in person instead.

[MikeW]

So I've been using online dating websites like grindr and okcupid for like the last 2 years. and we get convos going and then when it comes time to call. i get cold feet and never pick up which usually results in an instant turn off for whoever it is. I really wanna go forward into a relationship because itll really solidify my coming out process and make me overall happier. but i need help. i need to know how to talk on the phone to these guys who live a couple cities away but i always chicken out. you guys what can i do to talk to these guys and prevent it to what i feel will become phone sex.

on the topic of coming out i wanna come out before the new year but im just torn on how to do it. should i write a letter or text message? or would my parents think that as insulting and would rather here it from my mouth in person instead.

Well, one way you could come out is take that stupid bag off your head. There's nothing you've said here that explains your feeling you need to ask these questions "anonymously".

I would NEVER come out in a text message. What are you kids THINKING? OMFG.

If you're not ready to come out then don't! If you are, what are you afraid of? Just do it.

As for talking with guys on the phone. Conversations can be awkward. So just accept that and don't over think it. You're just talking to another human being, trying to get to know them and sharing a bit of yourself. If you don't want to get into phone sex then don't. If that is all the guy on the other end of the line wants, then that's his problem.

[InbetweenDreams]

As far as Grindr and OK Cupid...well I can speak for Grindr mostly, probably not going to meet Mr. Right on there. Most of the guys in my area and from what I've seen all pretty much just want to have sex and not having much of any kind of emotional commitment. Now that doesn't mean that is the the case for everyone on there but it is a lot harder to find.

When it comes to dating apps/sites and I have no clue where you're located so mileage may vary. I seem to like POF (Plenty of Fish) better. I say that because while nothing has really sparked (for sure) yet with anyone I have met more guys who do want a real relationship. The only problem I see is that the pond isn't as plentiful as you get on Grindr, so you have to be much more patient.

Honestly though, take your time, try not to feel compelled to run into a relationship. Have some fun, get to know people, you'll never know what you're going to find.

[MickTheMousie]

I dont know anything about dating apps and so.. but i do know a bit about coming out, and if you feel like sending them a texts msg is the right/easiest way then do so if you want to, writing them a letter is ok too and so is, calling them on the phone and saying it face to face. There are no rules for coming out, you should just do it the way you want to, when you want to and to the people you want to.

[Insertnamehere]

If you're up to the task, dealing wiht it in person is probably best. If not, a letter seems ok...texting sounds very impersonal and casual to me.

Ultimately it's your choice. Do whatever feels comfortable. You know better than we do the details of your situation and environment.

As for the other thing. Me thinks you'll eventually have to go for it and talk Don't think about it, just do. One time. Thats all you need to do to pass the barrier.