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deleting account due to abusive member
#11
James, I'm glad to see that you've stayed here, I enjoy your posts.

Don't let anyone chase you away. Give them the blind eye and deaf ear they deserve.
[Image: 51806835273_f5b3daba19_t.jpg]  <<< It's mine!
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#12
shyl4l Wrote:I know hat u mean by giving it time. Its just at the momrnt im struggling slightly . I have finaly taken the step to come out to everyone including myself and am now thinking what next i know what i want just not how to go about gettin it. I keep thinking have i done the right thing? Would i have been better off just going on as before. I hate pubs and clubs wich is how most people meet. I am feeling tottaly out of my depth and struggling to handle it.
I also dislike confrontation. I dont like the way i react to it . I am a head on kind of person, quite blunt when someone attacks me or myfriends. I find myself saying things or being the kind of person that i usually am not and dislike myself for it. I would rather help someone than hinder them or try to heal them instead of hurt them. There is enough nastyness in this world without me adding to it.

These things won't happen overnight. You have some adjustment time to get through, it will take some time to get used to, being open and not hiding away. In the long run, I think you'll end up realising you have definitely done the right thing. I guess you weren't happy before right? Hence why you'd made these changes and come out in the first place? It'll take time, but hang in there, and keep posting here. Don't let the foolish actions of one member drive you away. I, for one, have enjoyed your posts Smile
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#13
shyl4l Wrote:I have finaly taken the step to come out to everyone including myself and am now thinking what next i know what i want just not how to go about gettin it. I keep thinking have i done the right thing? Would i have been better off just going on as before.

congrats on that one. it is the right thing. especially when in regard to yourself. it is always better to be honest with yourself than the reverse. that's always been my position.

Quote:I hate pubs and clubs wich is how most people meet. I am feeling tottaly out of my depth and struggling to handle it.
I also dislike confrontation. I dont like the way i react to it . I am a head on kind of person, quite blunt when someone attacks me or myfriends. I find myself saying things or being the kind of person that i usually am not and dislike myself for it. I would rather help someone than hinder them or try to heal them instead of hurt them. There is enough nastyness in this world without me adding to it.

you'll learn as you go along. there are no deadlines you have to meet.

i'm not a cafe/club person either. i've gone to gay clubs and all, but that is rarely how i end up meeting men. besides, it always feels too artificial to me. and since i don't drink it makes it even more pointless to hang around in there like that. i only usually do it when i'm in another country.

i place emphasis on the interactions with men i come across in the course of my daily (or not-daily) life. when i meet someone i like i try to make something of it, friendship, sex, or more. sometimes that means walking up to an attractive stranger and talking to him. it's not always ideal, but i've discovered it's what works for me best.

you have to find your own comfort zone. every person is a bit different like that. most guys go to clubs to meet other men, another significant fraction do it on the internet, but those are not the only two options available.
''Do I look civilized to you?''
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#14
Well looks like self-deleting accounts doesn't work...been over 7 days and well still able to log in...

As for thawoods. He's immature, I've seen him cross the line a few times...

As for me, well one thing is for sure... No one likes having their character attacked... No, I haven't been an angel either, I think everyone is entitled to be a dick every once in a while. However, I do think it is best to leave sleeping dogs sleep.

I feel that anger rarely solves anything, but we all have a tendency to get angry. I think one thing that everyone should try to keep in mind is that none of us are any more righteous than the next person, no matter how dumb, narrow-minded someone's thoughts or opinions may be.
"I’m not expecting to grow flowers in a desert, but I can live and breathe and see the sun in wintertime"
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#15
Best thing to do is to block any member that annoys you. I have a few in my list. It helps to ease your headache by blocking them.
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#16
axle2152 Wrote:Well looks like self-deleting accounts doesn't work...been over 7 days and well still able to log in...

As for thawoods. He's immature, I've seen him cross the line a few times...

As for me, well one thing is for sure... No one likes having their character attacked... No, I haven't been an angel either, I think everyone is entitled to be a dick every once in a while. However, I do think it is best to leave sleeping dogs sleep.

I feel that anger rarely solves anything, but we all have a tendency to get angry. I think one thing that everyone should try to keep in mind is that none of us are any more righteous than the next person, no matter how dumb, narrow-minded someone's thoughts or opinions may be.

Didn't realise you were leaving axle and not sure why but please change your mind! Your posts have always been of interest and you seem like a nice guy. Of course, if it's because you want to spend more time off here I can understand but if someone is making you want to do this then please don't go. I think most of us have been there. I too tried to leave in October because of one person, which I guess doesn't make me look that great if I disregarded the 99% of other people on here who more than make up for them. Just ignore any negativity and stay Smile
Gossip is the Devil’s telephone; best just to hang up.
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