Taste of My Own Medicine?

[InbetweenDreams]

If there's anything that I have learned is that crushes can be a problem. When I say crush I'm also talking about being infatuated and somewhat obsessed with someone. I'm usually the one going head over heels over someone, this time I feel that I'm getting a taste of my own medicine. It is a bit frustrating having someone obsessed with you when you really just want peace and quiet or just do something else. Seems that there should be some kind of balance between being madly in love with someone and keeping their distance. The most annoying thing I have come to know is the insecurity...the "Why are you being so distant?" or "Are you OK?" While I'm at work or visiting family, etc.

Now that I've probably made myself sound like a hypocrite and a jackass. I have been very patient and have been pointing these things out to him to be helpful...I don't know that it would solve anything... I mean afterall I was somewhat warned on here when I was on the other end and frankly if I hadn't been on that end of it I probably would have ran already.

So I figure to go on a few more date before I try to determine whether or not we're going to go anywhere or not. He's a nice guy otherwise but besides all this seems a little bit on the goodie goodie side....

[East]

This reminds me of something I would tell my bar customers or friends to "wake them up"....

When they were upset about rejection..I would point out to them how many people THEY reject on a regular basis....silently....or openly....BEFORE they engage in a tirade of how shallow or blind or __Fill in the blank__ other people are....

I think rejection is an opportunity and a gift..so is acceptance..one is not better than the other..they are equal.

It is what you CHOOSE do with both of them that makes them what they are to you as an individual...

[kindy64]

mmm, not sure what you are talking about, maybe some more detail will help.

sounds like you are upset that your boyfriend is a bit smothering. wanting replies immediately upon receipt of a txt message and what not.

[InbetweenDreams]

I think having been able to date a couple (relatively) sane guys, having vastly different levels of interest and intent is a good eye opener. I don't think there's anything wrong with crushing on someone but just knowing what not to do...like pester them all the time or just be too open about everything. I mean some people, like this guy I'm talking about, likes that I am open about a lot of things. On the other hand some guys love being worshiped (in the sense of being obsessed over)...me not so much. I'd say the majority of guys are probably the same way.

[InbetweenDreams]

mmm, not sure what you are talking about, maybe some more detail will help.

sounds like you are upset that your boyfriend is a bit smothering. wanting replies immediately upon receipt of a txt message and what not.

Wouldn't say I'm upset...annoyed would be most accurate. Since I work, go to the gym...this last weekend was at a conference then visiting my sister and just was always trying to talk to me the entire time and even asked my why I was being so distant when I had other things going on...and it's not like I'm not telling him what I'm up to... He knew I was busy, at a conference then visiting my sister... Nothing big but is this even fixable?

[LJay]

Maybe you could get a little relief by saying straightforwardly, "I need to go visit Aunt Nancy tonight, can we get together after work tomorrow?" My mother used to use a version of this when I was in the hospital as a kid: "I have to go now, but I'll be here tomorrow right after lunch." I knew she was coming, so I did not worry so much. I'm sure you tell the guy that you are busy at work, but making a promise for a later time may get him off your back, especially is you have a conversation about it seeming strange to you that he worries so much.

By the way, ]Axle, I have noticed that you don't post so often these days and I'm concerned that you must be having problems. Please PM me at least three times a day so that I can be sure that you are all right. Missing you.
[Yes, that was a joke.]

[East]

On the other hand some guys love being worshiped (in the sense of being obsessed over)...me not so much. I'd say the majority of guys are probably the same way.

I just wrote a post about that on JUB..maybe 15 minutes ago....

Post number 30
http://www.justusboys.com/forum/threads/...-worshiped

[InbetweenDreams]

That probably would help but then I am also committing to something set in stone...Not that I don't want to commit but it seems that I end up trying to promise things I didn't really want to do...but do them anyway because I promised. For instance, he likes to talk on Skype all the time and if I let him keep me up too late and end up not getting things done around the house... But that is also something I tend to do in general. I have in the past committed to doing things when I really shouldn't have....trying to do to much and end up miserable or overwhelmed...Usually dealing with work, sometimes with friends was really bad when I was self-employed. It's kind of like you feel compelled to do it when you're really not. Something I could hope to grow out of instead of trying to please everyone at once. That was slightly off topic but might be useful?

[LJay]

Sounds like the basic problem is that you have to set limits, with him and with yourself. It's a bitch. Might be a good idea to have a long talk with him and make it in person. Skype does not count as human contact.

[InbetweenDreams]

Nope and to make matters worse he's about 75 miles away...