03-10-2016, 06:38 PM
Dear friends, I wrote a very long topic, but sadly I couldn't manage to post it. My post vanished and I have to do it again. And so I will do it.
Few months ago I posted this topic: Unrequited love from November 2. I can't post a link, as the system doesn't allow it, but you could see my former topic in the same category- need your advice.
Now lets come to the point.
I failed guys. I failed with this guy. Initially, I asked him for some space. We blocked each other on the social networks, promising to be friends someday again. I needed space and time to heal. But in fact, I realised that this space thing is not working for me. The more he was away, the more I wanted him. I broke the rules and phoned him. I said that I want us to remove this silly thing as keeping space. In tough moments, when I heard him, I felt really comforted. As if he was my magic pill. I really felt comforted and relieved anytime after we had a chat.
At the same time however, I grew intensively jealous. I was stalking him regularly on instagram, the only social media where we were still following each other. I felt that his words and actions didn't matched at all. I couldn't control myself.
I am taking antidepressants now, as I have developed depression. I am changing the living city, looking for a new job. So, this man was not the only reason.
As I said I grew incredibly jealous. And wanting to control. A couple of days ago I did a really bad thing and went too low. What happened? Well the subject of my affection is on a long holiday in South America. He made a new friend there- a gay guy, I saw that on instagram. Instantly, the volcano in me erupted. I contacted his new friend and said to him to stay away of ''my person''. On the next day, respectively yesterday, I apologised to this guy. I got no answer. As a result however, my person send me an angry email which included that he doesn't want to hear from me anymore and blocked me on instagram. I did another pity thing. I phoned him (while sobbing) and he answered after numerous attempts of my side. I wanted to talk to him for one last time. He was unhappy to hear me- he said he was busy and should call him other time. Maybe, he said, I should contact him next week.
So, guys, I went too far. Now I am asking how do you see this as side viewers? I can't judge properly. Should I finally give him space FOREVER? Few days ago I was quite rude with him. Blaming him this or that, in a jealousy attack. I lost him guys. What to do now? Can we after time contacting each other again?
Thanks for reading this!
Few months ago I posted this topic: Unrequited love from November 2. I can't post a link, as the system doesn't allow it, but you could see my former topic in the same category- need your advice.
Now lets come to the point.
I failed guys. I failed with this guy. Initially, I asked him for some space. We blocked each other on the social networks, promising to be friends someday again. I needed space and time to heal. But in fact, I realised that this space thing is not working for me. The more he was away, the more I wanted him. I broke the rules and phoned him. I said that I want us to remove this silly thing as keeping space. In tough moments, when I heard him, I felt really comforted. As if he was my magic pill. I really felt comforted and relieved anytime after we had a chat.
At the same time however, I grew intensively jealous. I was stalking him regularly on instagram, the only social media where we were still following each other. I felt that his words and actions didn't matched at all. I couldn't control myself.
I am taking antidepressants now, as I have developed depression. I am changing the living city, looking for a new job. So, this man was not the only reason.
As I said I grew incredibly jealous. And wanting to control. A couple of days ago I did a really bad thing and went too low. What happened? Well the subject of my affection is on a long holiday in South America. He made a new friend there- a gay guy, I saw that on instagram. Instantly, the volcano in me erupted. I contacted his new friend and said to him to stay away of ''my person''. On the next day, respectively yesterday, I apologised to this guy. I got no answer. As a result however, my person send me an angry email which included that he doesn't want to hear from me anymore and blocked me on instagram. I did another pity thing. I phoned him (while sobbing) and he answered after numerous attempts of my side. I wanted to talk to him for one last time. He was unhappy to hear me- he said he was busy and should call him other time. Maybe, he said, I should contact him next week.
So, guys, I went too far. Now I am asking how do you see this as side viewers? I can't judge properly. Should I finally give him space FOREVER? Few days ago I was quite rude with him. Blaming him this or that, in a jealousy attack. I lost him guys. What to do now? Can we after time contacting each other again?
Thanks for reading this!