Am I More than just curious??

[Jakej29]

I know I have a strong attraction to women. What is confusing fort me and has been for some time is guys. Aside from watching an extensive amount off gay porn I also have actually gone on dating sites and Apps many times and to talked and flirted with a lot of guys and I really enjoyed it then, plus I almost met a few but I get to nervous about the idea of actually meeting them and the thought I could actually be gay. So, does flirting sometimes with men online combined with gay porn mean that I'm not just "curious" and something more like actually bi or gay?

[Cridders88]

Could you see yourself having sex with a guy? Having a relations with a guy on a meaningful level, including a relationship? The flirting with men online and the gay porn are certainly indicators that you are at least curious, but would you want to take it further? It seems like you are nervous at the thought of being bi/gay, so it seems if you are, you are probably not very comfortable with it, and that may be what's holding you back.

Welcome to the forum btw

[Irusu]

As a starting point we are all assumed to be straight and coming out as gay or bi is not a change in you but a dispelling of a myth and having sex has nothing to do with it.

If you saw some tasty berries at the top of a tall tree that you really want to eat but you are too afraid to climb the tree, would it mean you didn't like those berries..

No...

[MikeW]

I know I have a strong attraction to women. What is confusing fort me and has been for some time is guys. Aside from watching an extensive amount off gay porn I also have actually gone on dating sites and Apps many times and to talked and flirted with a lot of guys and I really enjoyed it then, plus I almost met a few but I get to nervous about the idea of actually meeting them and the thought I could actually be gay. So, does flirting sometimes with men online combined with gay porn mean that I'm not just "curious" and something more like actually bi or gay?

Hey Jake, welcome to the forum.

Since the two previous posters didn't quote you AND you posted your question three days ago, you may NOT know that you've gotten responses. I hope the system emails you (as it should) with this quoted reply. That way you'll know to come back and check it out. IDK why sometimes DAYS can go by and guys don't get a reply. It's weird as fuck but it happens here.

Now to your question: First off "gay/bi/straight" are just labels, concepts. They don't come anywhere NEAR encompassing the range of human sexuality. Hell, just within "gay" alone I could name several sub-sets.

Moreover, I know for a fact that there are SOME straight men who DO have sex with other men. I don't have the link handy and can't think how to google it but I read an article about this not that long ago. USUALLY (not always) these "bromosexual" relationships originate because one or both of the guys do NOT have a wife or GF and are just horny fuckers. So they go for it. But if you were to ask them, they'd identify as heterosexual. There are also straight men who have sex with gay men just because the want to get off and no female is available.

(I, by the way, kind of went in the opposite direction. I identify as gay but had a 10 year relationship with a female I fell in love with. STRANGE THINGS HAPPEN IRL!!!)

I want to suggest you not fret overly much about your sexual identity. Think of it as something that is yours and yours alone. It may be fluid. Something you want to explore -- or not. No pressure from us or anyone else. Let yourself have what you want to have. Don't let anyone else push you or tell you not to go there. Your sex life is YOURS and yours alone.. .ain't no body else's business if you do (or don't).

We'd love to have you hang out with us. We're a mixed bunch here. Mostly good guys (I think). We try to be of help to guys who show up, no matter what the issue. We also kid around and do dumb stuff.

Just know that exploring your sexuality is something you can do on YOUR terms. And why the hell not? Sex is a lot of things... it can be fun. It feels good. It can also be serious business... LOVE MAKING. It does NOT have to be something set in stone. It does NOT have to be something that we allow "society" to dictate the 'acceptable' and 'not'.

Ok... that's way more than enough from me.

Mike