Advice Confused Dating

[Bolt]

Okey I'm new to this forum so I do something incorrectly I'm sorry.

So this is my problem, back about 1 year ago I meet this guy and we had what I thought as an mutual interest in each other. He would be quiet nervous around me and I would be as well but we both didn't know the other was gay. We were in the internets words pretty 'masc', but it seemed like he was interested in me but neither of us wanted to make a move.

We only saw each other for about 9 times during the whole summer and then one day we never saw each other again. Then one day October I found him on Tinder and swiped right, I wasn't to surprised and I was at least glad my gaydar wasn't bad. I didn't even get a match until a month after, I kind forgot about it after such a long time. I sent him a message and he took about 3 days to respond I really don't like waiting but I just let it go. That was the month of November we took about a month to have a conversation with each other because of his slow response skills but I had him on Facebook so I knew he was on the internet because he would constantly post something. I didn't think he really was interested until one day he sent me his number because he wanted to text instead. I just went for it and asked him out over text, i got no response. I just let it slide and forgot about thinking he was never interested in the first place. Another month passed by and I got drunk and started messaging random things to a lot of people on tinder, not for sex just to mess with them like have you seen waldo type of stuff. I messaged him and he responded. He asked me out to lunch, and yet again asked me if I wanted to start texting. I was confused but I said yes. I texted him again and he finally saw my inital message and said yes to it and said sorry he didn't notice it originally. After that we went on an actual good date, it was quite nice actually we went to tea house and it seemed like he was having a good time. He even told me we should go out again in the following week. I agreed and said we should play billiards, he messaged me the night before the second date to move to next friday. I agreed, I didn't think to much of it because he changed the date and time and he was texting me constantly. He did that the following week again and wanted to change the date for the next month because it was already around christmas time and he had to go home for the holidays.
I agreed again but he just stopped texting me during the holiday and when he came back he told me he'll get back to me. That was the last time I texted him because I honestly wasn't that interested anymore.

Around april I needed a text book and I knew he had it so I texted him if he would sell the textbook to me. What he did was say he sold it already but also asked we could start seeing each other again in the summer. I said we'll see what happens and asked if we can grab brunch before the semester ends, which is 3 weeks. I told him yes sure why not we can grab it this weekend, I haven't gotten a reply in 3 days.

I've asked many of my friends but they've never had an issue like this. I'm just confused am I to direct, is dating this slow in the gay world? Can some shine some light on this?

We are both college students, we are out to our initial friends. I'm not sure about his family but I'm not out to my family

Sorry for so many words I also need to rant just because I've never had anything like this happen to me. I'm a pretty direct person.

[jimcrackcorn]

Unfortunately,,,, the guy your trying to go on a date with - isn't that interested in dating you.

When a guy keeps putting off a date-night (month after month),,, then it's time for you to look elsewhere for a romantic relationship... Just think about it,, if he really wanted to go on a date with you, he'd find the time!!! You found time to go on a date with him,,, why couldn't he find time for you?

The sad part is that the fella your interested in, isn't mature enough to tell you the truth and he keeps stringing you along..

He might make a good "Texting Friend" but don't count on him to be anything else.

Sincerely,
Jim

[Insertnamehere]

He seems rather unreliable. It's been months and all you've gotten is..one date?

Nah, man. I would suggest you to start looking elsewhere.

[trywait]

Unfortunately,,,, the guy your trying to go on a date with - isn't that interested in dating you.

When a guy keeps putting off a date-night (month after month),,, then it's time for you to look elsewhere for a romantic relationship... Just think about it,, if he really wanted to go on a date with you, he'd find the time!!! You found time to go on a date with him,,, why couldn't he find time for you?

The sad part is that the fella your interested in, isn't mature enough to tell you the truth and he keeps stringing you along..

He might make a good "Texting Friend" but don't count on him to be anything else.

Sincerely,
Jim

seriously, or the guy is always sick or doing other stuff. obviously, he's not that into you...

it has to work both ways, and not on a one way street.

[Cridders88]

Agreed with the guys here. He doesn't seem all that into you, his behaviour certainly reflects that. Sadly, it seems all too common for people to not be up front and honest and not actually tell people directly.

Either that or he is exceptionally busy all the time. Even so, would you really want to continue dating someone that can't make any time for you? I would move on from this guy before things get more imbalanced on the feelings side of things. Because trust me, that can hurt.

Welcome to the forum btw . Sorry it wasn't a more positive post to welcome you.

[Scootaloo]

Sounds like he could be possibly living a double life. perhaps he is in the closet when it comes to friends and family and wants to date a man. But gets nervous that his two worlds will collide and drops off the map in those situations.

Just adding another theory to the mix. Honestly I suck at trying to figure people out.

[Jake]

Hey you're gay and so is he and well from what I get he's out too right? If you want a real good explanation why don't you two come here? So far from your story I'd go with whatever the other Moguls are saying that he's not that much into you. But, they don't know, I don't know, and this story is only your perception. We only have your side and your side is your own perception and then you go online asking people on their own perceptions?

Is it a good idea? NO, the first thing would be to be straightforward with your dude and ask the right questions right from the starts. Yeah, he may be ticked off by your honesty but at least you're not going to waste your time trying to understand garbage from him or from the butterflies (butterflies are cute and colourful and make you forget real matters) replies you'll get from here.