Friend with benefits, kinda

[Samdabisa]

So I had this one guy who I met through an app/website who lived near me, like blocks away. We met, hit it off well and had a friends with benefits relationship going. It was enjoyable, with foreplay, doing the deed, both of us orgasming, and then some cuddling. All of which I enjoyed and so did he. We'd meet fairly regularly. After he went away on a trip, it took awhile to meet up again.

After a long pause, we met up again a few times, and then it became a sporadic thing. Now I have the inkling, with some circumstantial info, that he has a boyfriend. I've felt this in the past, but we still met up, so I wasn't sure. And he obviously didn't say anything.

I don't know what to think or feel. I want to meet him again because it wasn't just for the sex when we met, I felt a connection with him each time even though we weren't really looking for a relationship.

[Insertnamehere]

If you have veridical evidence that he has a BF, then you ask him about it. And in any case it is clear that you are no longer seeing this as a FWB thing, but as something more serious, so it's up to you to find out if the other party feels the same.

[Samdabisa]

Well, I've always seen it as a FWB thing, just a really good match. Only issue is that if I text him, I wouldn't get a msg back.

[Anocxu]

. Now I have the inkling, with some circumstantial info, that he has a boyfriend.

You seem quite interested in him... circumstantial evidence is not good enough...
Find out the truth...
If you feel he's lying... hold off till you know for sure.

.

I don't know what to think or feel. I want to meet him again because it wasn't just for the sex when we met, I felt a connection with him each time even though we weren't really looking for a relationship.

You like him...
Set things in the right direction with an honest one on one conversation.

Keep us posted.

[Samdabisa]

I never said he was lying; just hitting me up when I'm guessing this other guy isn't around.

As for liking him, yes. Do I want to be a couple? Probably not. I do at the very least want a friendship, but hard to have without open lines of communication. We used to talk more.

[Beaux]

I never said he was lying; just hitting me up when I'm guessing this other guy isn't around.

As for liking him, yes. Do I want to be a couple? Probably not. I do at the very least want a friendship, but hard to have without open lines of communication. We used to talk more.

Well, apparently, he DOES want to be part of a couple, and knowing that you don't want that, he went out and found someone who does.

The whole, "I'm not ready for a relationship" thing precludes you from the right to be possessive.

Obviously, he has made his choice. You need to respect that and move on.

~Beaux

[Samdabisa]

Well, apparently, he DOES want to be part of a couple, and knowing that you don't want that, he went out and found someone who does.

The whole, "I'm not ready for a relationship" thing precludes you from the right to be possessive.

Obviously, he has made his choice. You need to respect that and move on.

~Beaux

I'm sorry, who said anything about possessive? Sorry for being bummed out over loosing what I thought was a decent friendship.

And no kidding about his wanting a relationship. I didn't realize I had to spell out the fact that we never discussed that as a future between us. We were happy with what we had. It was the sudden stop in communication that sucked. Yes people come and go, but the lack of closure makes it harder sometimes.

[Darius]

Maybe you saw him more as a "f" and he saw you more as a "b"? That would explain why he has stopped acting like one.? Just asking.

[CorsacReborn]

So I had this one guy who I met through an app/website who lived near me, like blocks away. We met, hit it off well and had a friends with benefits relationship going. It was enjoyable, with foreplay, doing the deed, both of us orgasming, and then some cuddling. All of which I enjoyed and so did he. We'd meet fairly regularly. After he went away on a trip, it took awhile to meet up again.

After a long pause, we met up again a few times, and then it became a sporadic thing. Now I have the inkling, with some circumstantial info, that he has a boyfriend. I've felt this in the past, but we still met up, so I wasn't sure. And he obviously didn't say anything.

I don't know what to think or feel. I want to meet him again because it wasn't just for the sex when we met, I felt a connection with him each time even though we weren't really looking for a relationship.

Is this person the same one as the one you have mentioned in your other thread? If so then you should have kept it all as one.

You shouldn't hold onto something that clearly is no longer there, the only person needing closure in this situation is yourself and unfortunately the only one that is going to give it to you is yourself. As much as we get simplified, men are more complicated than they seem and sometimes it is just better to move and accept what happens on rather then question everything. I feel that your developed feelings for this guy are now just clouding over your ability to move on and just forget about him, there are other people out there who will appreciate you and what you want and may even want the same things.

[Samdabisa]

Maybe you saw him more as a "f" and he saw you more as a "b"? That would explain why he has stopped acting like one.? Just asking.

Maybe. But it is what it is.